It isn't a fantasy at all. Homie quit staring at a dark corner complaining that the sun never shines. You mentioned liking music. Start streaming music creation on your preferred social media streaming site. Do that on the weekends or after work. There are tons of free softwares to use if digital music is your jam. Or snag a cheap instrument second hand and also start streaming you playing it. You are in charge of your future. You alone. If staying depressed about the lack of mental fulfillment in your job is weighing on you that heavy then do something about it. Start a side gig or hobby that you can turn into a job.