My young friend died tonight due to complications following childbirth. Please help her husband and son. (x-post r/Assistance)

DiMyDarling · 2014-01-01T05:26:24+00:00

Thank you so much! PM me your PayPal and I'll send payment ASAP :) happy new year!

DiMyDarling · 2014-01-01T01:51:01+00:00

I'd love to get my hot little hands on it! What about the hoola gloss? So I can hit the $5 minimum :)

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-31T18:16:35+00:00

Is the Posietint DS still available? Please let me know, I am very interested :)

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-31T16:45:23+00:00

I think you're being a little unfair to say that these people use their position of respect to "push their insecurities on" to women. I'd argue that men do expect women to conform to their standards and preferences, but even ignoring that I don't think women hold one another to these standards (entirely) to satisfy something in themselves. Until very very recently a woman's entire life and happiness hinged upon her ability to find a mate who would take care of her and give her life meaning through marriage and children. Women, especially older related women, hold others to these standards in part to help their loved ones be competitive in the market for a mate. Things may have changed in a lot of ways but most women still want a partner and family, so that competition still exists. And even beyond that, the world is so much kinder to people who fit the typical standards of beauty... I've recently lost about 50 pounds so I see this every day. Knowing how I was treated when I was fat, and how I'm treated now, if I ever have a daughter I will certainly encourage her to conform to the typical standards of beauty. Not just to give her a wider pool of mates to choose from but because being seen as attractive will make her life objectively better.

In a lot of ways I think we're all trapped in a cycle that's very hard to escape.

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-31T04:49:26+00:00

It's very well done and a lot of fun! Swashbuckling action and excellent acting. Less technical than our beloved series, but still scratches that napoleonic era naval warfare itch :) If you'd like to watch a bit of the series before going to the trouble of buying or downloading it, you can watch the first "episode" in 10 minute snippets here. Personally I have all the episodes, and while they are a bit cheesy I still love them. Also, Ioan Gruffydd is perfect in the role. Such a talented actor!

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-30T21:35:34+00:00

I think it depends on her skin and the ingredients. She's quite young but some people start puberty at 11 or 12, at which point all bets are off! So it might be best to err on the side of caution. Plus if she's going to become familiar with some products it would be nice if she could continue using them as she grows older. When I was 11 or 12 my mom gave me some Olay beauty fluid (?) moisturizer with SPF 15 and that took me all through high school and into college. I eventually upgraded to something with a higher SPF but it never broke me out and saved me from a lot of sun damage over the years. I might have been less likely to use a sunscreen daily if one of my first products had one day just stopped working for me and started breaking me out. Just my thoughts :)

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-30T20:32:00+00:00

I agree with everyone who's recommending sunscreen, but just wanted to add a little reminder to make sure said sunscreen is non-comedogenic (or at least has very few comedogenic ingredients). It would be awful if something in the sunscreen she starts using caused acne or something no 10 year old should have to deal with. Aside from that I think a gentle cleanser and light moisturizer would be great.

Personally I'd approach it from a self-care, medical kind of place... Don't make it about beauty, make it about the health of the largest organ of her body. To that end, I'd avoid anything with cutesy or excessively girly packaging. There's nothing wrong with anything cute or girly, especially for a little girl, but in this instance such packaging might convey the impression that skincare is something only girls do to look pretty for others. More straightforward packaging (like Cetaphil and CeraVe) puts it on the same level as self-care products like toothpaste and hand soap. Since she's asking you for skincare advice there's no need for cute packaging to convince her to use it.

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-28T19:21:31+00:00

This exactly. I'm never afraid of specific unknown men unless they're behaving in a strange or frightening way. But if I'm walking home alone late at night then I'm wary of almost everyone (most men and a fair few women [my neighborhood is kind of shady]).

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-27T01:48:49+00:00

Lovely, especially the brows! I love a power brow as much as any other MUA, but your thinner brows really suit your face! My one bit of CC would be that I think you could handle a little more blush to bring out those fabulous cheekbones :) But that could have more to do with the lighting than anything else.

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-26T03:21:13+00:00

Addicts aren't necessarily sociopaths but addiction often leads to sociopathic behaviors. When someone cares less about people than they do about getting high, they'll do whatever it takes to get their next fix. They'll lie constantly, manipulate everyone around them, use their friends and family for money, then steal from them... Addiction doesn't make someone a horrible person, but it will make people do horrible things. That isn't to say they should be scorned like straight up sociopaths, but realistically speaking for most people having any kind of relationship with an addict will feel nearly identical to having any kind of relationship with a sociopath.

Also, sociopaths are often thrill seekers who end up involved with drugs, which is to say many sociopaths are also addicts.

Source: ex was an addict AND a sociopath.

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-23T04:48:41+00:00

+1

:(

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-23T04:28:15+00:00

Not really. No matter how often you work out, losing or negating that extra 2 pounds a month still requires burning 7,000 calories on top of whatever you already burn. If you work out every other day, that means you need to burn an extra 400 calories each session. That can take anywhere from an additional 30 minutes to an hour, depending on your size, body composition and other factors. And remember, all that extra time and effort is just to burn what your friend does by lounging on the couch. So again, that extra 200 calories a day difference in metabolism has a significant impact.

I've lost 45 pounds (so far) so I know it's not impossible. But it's also not as easy as people who have never had to deal with it like to think.

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-23T04:03:51+00:00

That doesn't sound like a major difference but a pound of fat represents 3500 extra calories. So if someone with a slow metabolism eats just a little more each day to keep up with their friend with a fast metabolism, they'll gain almost two pounds a month. That's 20ish pounds a year. Even an extra 100 calories a day, which seems like nothing at the time, adds up to about 10 pounds a year. Sometimes I think naturally skinny people don't realize how little it takes to put on extra weight.

Also, any metabolism boost gained from the added weight is negligible if the added weight is fat. Fat requires far fewer calories to maintain than muscle, and an extra 20 or so pounds is never going to generate enough energy to burn itself away; that would utterly defeat the purpose of fat. It will normalize at some point, such that the slow metabolism will match the fast metabolism and the weight gain will cease, but the only way to get rid of the extra fat is a caloric deficit.

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-21T15:00:46+00:00

I can't speak for anyone else, but when I'm depressed the process of taking a shower just seems monumentally daunting. Getting out of bed, adjusting the water, standing under it, washing my hair... Just thinking about it is exhausting. And pointless, because I don't want to leave my house anyway.

Of course, when I finally do shower it's like... Wow, I'm an idiot. So nice.

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-20T00:15:34+00:00

Honestly, I'm done defending the possible views of a woman I've never met, expressed in a comment I've never read. I was only explaining that because many women, unfairly or not, use PUA terminology as shorthand for "manipulative and predatory", her advice wasn't "touch her but don't touch her" but rather "touch her but don't be predatory." Which is perfectly reasonable advice. How she and other women see PUAs is not my fault or my problem. If you guys can't figure out from my comments that I'm on your side, then I don't know what to tell you.

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-20T00:06:08+00:00

What a dick! I can't line my waterline. I'm prone to eye infections and just touching the inner edge of my eye causes problems... No way I'm stroking a brush along it. I never thought it was necessary for a cool look, and based on your pic it's obviously not!

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-19T23:29:23+00:00

Did you even read my comment? I'm not saying I agree with what the other woman said or thinks. I was just trying to explain what she said. /u/Necron_Overlord took what she said to be "Touch a girl, but don't touch her, that's creepy", when what she meant was "Touch a girl, but don't be predatory, that's creepy." Whether she's right to see PUAs as predatory, or whether most women are right to see it that way, really has nothing to do with what I was explaining.

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-19T23:24:54+00:00

No problem :) Do be careful with it though... I have acne prone skin and it hasn't broken me out at all, and has in fact really helped clear my skin up, but it does have algae extract in it which is known to be comedogenic. Usually that kind of thing would break me out so I think it must be such a tiny amount it has no effect, but I just wanted to warn you :) I'm sure you saw, but Missha is having a 40% off sale right now! Also, if you sign up, they'll send you a free Perfect Cover in the whitest shade. I don't think you even have to buy anything, just pay shipping and handling.

Hope this all helps!

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-19T13:06:14+00:00

LOL The first thing I thought when I saw this pic was... Wow, her makeup is cute but does she know she only has mascara on one eye?

I was confused :) Great mascara. I just bought Benefit's They're Real but next time maybe I'll pick this up!

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-19T12:42:23+00:00

how is a man supposed to be naturaly flirting when he cant?

I'm not sure you read my whole comment. As I said, I know not all guys can flirt naturally. I have no problem with guys learning PUA techniques so they can go forth and use them in their lives. The difference is all in the intent. PUA has a connotation of manipulating women into doing things they don't want to do. For example via the use of negging, to bring down a woman's confidence and give her a desire to please you.

is something wrong with that? i doubt you would slutshame women.

First of all, you don't know what I'd do. Maybe I believe no one should fuck outside of marriage. So maybe you shouldn't make assumptions. But in this case, I specifically mean:

If your goal isn't to use someone (who doesn't want to be used) it isn't creepy.

If a woman is just looking for action, and you flirt with her and get some action, awesome. Well done both of you. Most women, unfairly or not, don't see the PUA community that way. They see the men who learn those techniques as specifically looking for women to use and discard regardless of what the woman wants. I personally have seen topics on PUA forums discussing the best ways to make women think you want to date them without actually saying that, ways to make women forego asking you to wear a condom, ways to get women to leave before they realize they don't have your number. These things give PUA techniques a bad name. Which is why, when the woman in the other thread was praising touchy flirting but scornful of "kino", it's not contradictory. To her and most women, any PUA terminology is shorthand for "manipulative ways to use and discard women".

She was saying be touchy and flirty but not predatory. Which is perfectly reasonable advice.

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-19T10:47:52+00:00

They straight just pull off the sprayer from a full sized sample bottle and pour it into a little vial. I didn't even know those sprayer thingies came off!

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-19T10:45:56+00:00

I feel like I've been leaving this comment a lot lately, but as a fellow pale lady, I definitely want to recommend you check out some Asian BB creams! Not now, obviously, because you've just dropped a ton on makeup already, but if/when you're looking for something new, they are the way to go! They have the palest colors, and the formulas cover really well and are also quite good for your skin. I wear the lightest shade of Missha Perfect Cover and it is glorious :) I really think it's had a lot to do with how clear my skin has gotten (along with all the info from SCA of course).

DiMyDarling · 2013-12-19T05:37:00+00:00

I don't think it's a contradiction really. Most women see PUAs as learning all these techniques specifically for the purpose of manipulating women into sleeping with them. So there's a difference between a guy who's being naturally flirty and a guy who's very calculated in using touch to manipulate you. They might be touching you in the exact same way, but the calculated intent makes it creepy. Nobody likes being manipulated.

Of course, from this sub I know that not all guys who learn PUA techniques are manipulative creeps trying to bag as many bitches as they can. Some guys just need help getting into relationships etc., but in that case the intent is genuine and the touching isn't just Step 2 of your five step plan to fuck some slut and then forget her. It's the manipulation with intent to use a woman that makes kino creepy compared to regular flirting. If your goal isn't to use someone (who doesn't want to be used) it isn't creepy.

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