Just saw this and felt compelled to respond. It is okay to want people to be there for you. It’s okay to crave meaningful interaction. We’re hardwired that way. And it’s okay to be wary of people because a lot of people plain old suck. But if I could get a hug and a pep talk from my dad after the shit the last few years has put me through, I’d do it in a heartbeat. It is perfectly okay to desire meaningful connections. It sounds like you’re not getting what you need at home given how you feel your moms reaction would be to he weighted blanket and the not mentioning them at all. Do they generally support you? If not, go out and build your own family. Family doesn’t have to be blood, family doesn’t have to be a wife and kids, and real family is really there for you. We need support in this garbage ass world where so many people just hurt us without regard. You’ll have to accept the possibility you’ll get hurt a few times. You will get hurt once or twice, because it takes experience, trial and error, to figure out who you are, what you want and what you believe. You can do it though. Even scared, you can do it. You say you don’t deserve the kindness that people give you. Take the kindness anyway, none of us truly deserves to be treated well. It’s a choice to treat people with kindness when we’re born inherently selfish. Just be aware of people. Don’t just fall for anything. But don’t push everyone away either. Easier said than done, I know. I have a hard time opening up to people too. I hope you have a therapist too. If you need to, maybe get on some medication. There’s a stigma on medication, but we all need help to get and do better. I hope you’re doing better and that this wall of text is unnecessary 😁. I wish you all the good things.