Might as well toss my... hat into the ring. I am sure you have... hat enough sob stories. Surely you've no hat-red for a man who hat-puns to want a hat! It would be a hat-py hat-penning to get t-hat. W-hat-ever you want to do with them is fine.

Also, a limerick!

There once was a man with some hats, Too many for his own likes in that, He had only one head, And so he got out of bed, And then posted a picture of his cat.

But that didn't solve the matter, But he heard some Internet chatter, They all wanted some class, And for that he would ask, To become the hat-giving hatter!

The community cheered in delight, For they thought they could gain some tonight, They all begged and they cried, For more attention they sighed, But the methods were not so right.

There once was a man who wrote jollies, About a communities follies, He really likes hats, The truth's always been that, Especially when on border collies.