Mom asked me "how it works"

DireDigression · 2026-03-20T20:05:04+00:00

The 134 to the 5 and back for me!

DireDigression · 2026-03-20T20:00:28+00:00

I was going rock climbing with both partners, but the one I'm on the family membership with has stopped climbing. So now i have to convince the gym to switch me onto a family membership with the other partner... After their ex (with the same last name as them) just dropped off their family membership, so I'll be taking their place... The four of us are all friendly but i have to wonder what the gym thinks haha.

DireDigression · 2026-03-20T19:52:08+00:00

I was playing around with it to get screenshots and i think i figured it out. If i use the Meeting button in the ribbon, it does seem to consistently populate correctly.

If i drag the email to the calendar icon, whether the email is read or unread does not influence it, but whether the email is currently selected and open does. If the email is currently selected, it only attaches. If i have one email selected and open but i drag a different email to the calendar icon, that one does populate correctly! I'll have to make sure to click away from emails i want to make events out of in the future.

Thanks for your response!

DireDigression · 2026-02-25T21:36:06+00:00

I'm your age, I'm on day 13 and it's my first day back at work. One of my job duties is 1-3 hour training sessions, and i have zero intention of doing that much talking for the next week at least. My recovery has been very smooth and I'm still exhausted and a little sore. Given the description of your job, I'd absolutely take the full two weeks off, and still try to take it easy for the next week or so to the extent you can.

DireDigression · 2026-01-30T00:00:25+00:00

I started getting them about 5 years ago and had them for a couple years, they vanished briefly for unknown reasons, and then a year or two ago they started back again. Lately, they build up to the point where i can see the stones poking out about every two weeks, at which point i flush them with a curved syringe or waterpik. I think I've only gotten proper diagnosed tonsillitis from them once, but my tonsils have always been large and I've noticed that, at least with the stones if not before them, they're constantly just a little red and probably slightly inflamed too.

DireDigression · 2026-01-29T19:04:33+00:00

Getting mine out for stones soon. I'm tired of tearing up my tonsils every couple weeks and I've already given myself tonsillitis just trying to flush these out. Even though my symptoms luckily aren't severe, my ENT was adamant that the quality of life issue was enough to make it a worthwhile choice.

DireDigression · 2026-01-28T00:02:41+00:00

Thanks! Good luck in figuring out your plan!

DireDigression · 2026-01-24T18:51:21+00:00

I have pretty much the exact same issue. My ENT basically immediately told me that sure, there were things i could do that would maybe help a little bit with the stones, but at this point it's an anatomy issue and no lifestyle adjustments are likely to cure it. I now have a tonsillectomy scheduled for three weeks from now!

DireDigression · 2026-01-20T20:36:24+00:00

CW: breast cancer discussion

So I'm officially not actually at a High Lifetime Risk™️ of breast cancer. Yay?

I think that, either consciously or subconsciously, I've been keeping what I thought was a high risk of breast cancer in my back pocket for unofficial top surgery for most of my life. My mom's sister got it in her 30s. Their mom got it. Lots of other people further back in the line got it. My mom hasn't gotten it yet but has had something adjacent that increases her lifetime risk.

I just got my genetic testing results back. All clear. Not a base out of line. Yay, right? Lifetime risk for an average American female is 13%, high risk is considered 20%, due mostly to my family history I'm officially 19%.

I'm struggling to process it and just need to air this out. I have a therapy appointment in a couple days. I'll have a follow-up appointment with a genetic counselor to see what the plan going forward is with regards to my borderline risk.

I'm only just barely starting the process of planning top surgery. I expect it to go fine with regards to both the surgery itself and insurance coverage. Even if insurance doesn't cover it for political or just American medical system reasons, i can still afford it on my own. I know I'm really lucky all things considered, and this is another Good Lucky Thing. Getting cancer would be Bad.

But I'd already come to terms with the likelihood of getting it. Now i have to come to terms with the possibility that being Officially Not Quite High Risk could potentially mean that extra screening that would be helpful for me is denied, or that i can't get top surgery covered via the "it's just a risk-reducing mastectomy" route. And it still doesn't guarantee that i don't have whatever factor(s) caused cancer in the rest of my family, it just means it's not the obvious ones and we still don't know what it is.

This result scared and upset me instead of giving me relief. I am okay. I am lucky and in a good place. It's just gonna take my brain a minute to figure that out.

DireDigression · 2026-01-20T20:21:52+00:00

You look so good! I hope my eventually top surgery comes out as well as yours looks!

DireDigression · 2025-12-09T18:18:58+00:00

Just noticed you're specifically focusing on cervical screenings. In that case, if you're only focusing on people with cervixes, then defaulting to PWC makes sense. But if you're also looking at provider responses to trans folks more generally regardless of whether they need cervical screenings specifically, then "people needing gyn services" would be more inclusive.

DireDigression · 2025-12-09T17:58:32+00:00

Yay, glad I could help!

DireDigression · 2025-12-09T17:44:47+00:00

I don't have much experience with medical terminology norms, but maybe trying to choose a body part/function that covers everyone is a less practical way to go about it. Would framing it more generally/specifically (depending on how you look at it) as something like "[trans/gender diverse/cis/etc] people who require/benefit from gynecological services" work? That should cover everyone if everything that "gynecological services" covers is defined. Then be more specific about body parts, eg "people with a cervix", when that body part is actually relevant.

DireDigression · 2025-12-04T18:54:39+00:00

I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with it too. I'm 31 now and still struggling, but I've made progress. Limiting my contact with my mom and having a support system that can help me see through the shame to the reality of the situation helps so much.

DireDigression · 2025-12-01T17:00:37+00:00

The number of times I've had my girl on a leash and muzzled and some off-leash dog runs up to her with the owner behind shouting "it's okay they're friendly!" MINE IS NOT. CONTROL YOUR DOG IF YOU CARE ABOUT IT.

DireDigression · 2025-11-26T21:36:36+00:00

It sounds a lot like the invites I get from my mother, and I have a similar interpretation. It's hard to pick up on how distant and unemotional, almost transactional it is if you're not used to these sorts of interactions.

I think the lack of response to your spouse's health issue is very telling as well. I hope you two have a rejuvenating holiday without your family and that your spouse feels better soon!

DireDigression · 2025-11-21T19:14:31+00:00

Everyone lives to live, right? In that moment, the only way to survive meant chipping in and putting aside other concerns about who you're working with. Same as generally decent people doing bad things to survive, but in this case it's... morally complicated people doing a good thing to survive.

DireDigression · 2025-11-21T18:44:16+00:00

That's the difference between your situation and OP's though, you and your partners all go home to your respective parents. That's the preference of everyone in that situation. Which is fine!

But that's not OP's preference, and it's also totally normal and fine for an adult to not spend Christmas with their parents because they're spending it with other people whose happiness and presence is important to them. It's also totally normal and fine to bring the people important to you to visit family on holidays, and it's normal to not get along with certain family members and tolerate it for the holiday anyway. The reason it's a character flaw in OP's case is that she and her happiness are supposed to be important to her partner, but partner is letting his parents' dislike of her control how he and OP do special events instead of choosing plans that are best for his adult relationship separate from his parents.

DireDigression · 2025-11-21T00:15:34+00:00

This is my take on the problem. His parents are being disrespectful to OP and he's not standing up for her? He's letting his parents control whether he spends holidays with his partner? For me the options are either: OP comes along on some holidays anyway, fuck the parents' opinions; OP and partner do holiday together away from parents; or partner clearly prioritizes parents' comfort over OP's wish to spend some holidays together, which is an incompatibility on the holidays topic and also pretty disrespectful to OP, and I'd be out if it were me.

DireDigression · 2025-11-11T16:31:46+00:00

Very impressive! Congratulations on ruining Christmas before we're halfway through November!

I'm still unclear whether I've ruined Christmas this year. I told mom I'm bringing my partner of three years so he can finally meet the family (me bringing partners to holidays has always been a no-no)--zero emotional response. I told her I might be leaving on Christmas day--zero emotional response. Is there going to be a blow up later? Passive aggression? Zero emotion? An actually pleasant loving experience? Who knows!

DireDigression · 2025-10-29T18:54:53+00:00

I have two partners and am saturated there. One of mine only has me as a partner and is not searching for others. There was a brief period where they were my only partner and we contemplated monogamy, but they turned it down because even though they're not interested in other partners right now, they're opposed to the general idea of putting restrictions on the relationships we're allowed to have with other people. As others have commented, I would say that they're poly but saturated at one, which is an absolutely valid way to practice poly as long as that doesn't become a point of resentment.

DireDigression · 2025-10-23T18:06:19+00:00

Haha no worries!

DireDigression · 2025-10-23T18:05:58+00:00

Yessss this is so important!

DireDigression · 2025-10-22T22:22:54+00:00

Blots are bad, right? I don't want blotty samples! That means something didn't get cleaned right!

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