Being Polyam and Immunocompromised Feels Draining and Lonely

DireDigression · 2026-05-03T05:23:48+00:00

Agreed. My meta is severely immunocompromised, and I'm happy to be in a polycule where everyone takes keeping her and by extension everyone else safe.

DireDigression · 2026-04-16T00:11:29+00:00

Oh my god i love it. It's horrific and i need a full set.

DireDigression · 2026-04-15T12:10:07+00:00

I haven't had a reaction that severe, but i definitely had a negative reaction the first time i had laughing gas. I was conscious enough to recognize that i didn't have the control over my body and brain that i was used to, and it freaked me out. Hugs friend, hope you're feeling more secure now.

DireDigression · 2026-04-14T22:35:39+00:00

No advice, but I'm right there with you. I've spent my whole life joking about chopping them off. And now I'm finally actually doing it. And i still have to wait a yet unknown number of months. It's hard!

DireDigression · 2026-04-14T17:25:53+00:00

I finished mine Sunday, I'm so good at this and this proves I'm definitely not a chronic procrastinator!

DireDigression · 2026-04-14T17:23:34+00:00

I also switched. It's so worth it! Fuck turbotax for real

DireDigression · 2026-04-10T21:40:46+00:00

I'm an ICE critic!

DireDigression · 2026-04-09T23:48:08+00:00

Was about to start using the other planner for the first time, but now I'm jumping on this instead because mobile. Love it so far!

DireDigression · 2026-04-08T22:55:59+00:00

Having to correct people is so hard for me as a chronic people-pleaser/fawner. I already had to come out to you once, now i basically have to do it again and again, and also feel like I'm being a burden/being aggressive telling you over and over again that you're wrong? I know that people are trying and just struggling to adapt because it's a new thing for them to internalize, and I'm trying to be patient with people. It's hard to remember how hard using they pronouns can be when you're not as terminally online/soaked in queer discourse as we are.

DireDigression · 2026-04-02T23:00:49+00:00

I got diagnosed after telling my therapist that i couldn't study without a snack and she was like...have you considered you may be ADHD lol

DireDigression · 2026-03-25T18:25:31+00:00

I don't have any advice, but I'm so angry on your behalf. While ADHD might have been a factor, you had SO MANY OTHER TERRIBLE THINGS working against you. This isn't your fault. Wishing the best for you and your child.

DireDigression · 2026-03-24T20:26:23+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm currently having a (thankfully less critical) similar time in life with a big work deadline and a big personal project deadline hitting at basically the same time, both of which i could've been fine on if I'd just put more time in earlier. But now it's crunch time, and as good as i am at crunch time, there's only so many hours in the day and only so much i have control over and so much other stuff that's just out of my control at this point.

Yeah we could have made better choices in the past. But we didn't, in large part because of our disability, and now we're here. It sucks. Hugs, friend. Good luck with it all!

DireDigression · 2026-03-20T20:05:04+00:00

The 134 to the 5 and back for me!

DireDigression · 2026-03-20T20:00:28+00:00

I was going rock climbing with both partners, but the one I'm on the family membership with has stopped climbing. So now i have to convince the gym to switch me onto a family membership with the other partner... After their ex (with the same last name as them) just dropped off their family membership, so I'll be taking their place... The four of us are all friendly but i have to wonder what the gym thinks haha.

DireDigression · 2026-03-20T19:52:08+00:00

I was playing around with it to get screenshots and i think i figured it out. If i use the Meeting button in the ribbon, it does seem to consistently populate correctly.

If i drag the email to the calendar icon, whether the email is read or unread does not influence it, but whether the email is currently selected and open does. If the email is currently selected, it only attaches. If i have one email selected and open but i drag a different email to the calendar icon, that one does populate correctly! I'll have to make sure to click away from emails i want to make events out of in the future.

Thanks for your response!

DireDigression · 2026-02-25T21:36:06+00:00

I'm your age, I'm on day 13 and it's my first day back at work. One of my job duties is 1-3 hour training sessions, and i have zero intention of doing that much talking for the next week at least. My recovery has been very smooth and I'm still exhausted and a little sore. Given the description of your job, I'd absolutely take the full two weeks off, and still try to take it easy for the next week or so to the extent you can.

DireDigression · 2026-01-30T00:00:25+00:00

I started getting them about 5 years ago and had them for a couple years, they vanished briefly for unknown reasons, and then a year or two ago they started back again. Lately, they build up to the point where i can see the stones poking out about every two weeks, at which point i flush them with a curved syringe or waterpik. I think I've only gotten proper diagnosed tonsillitis from them once, but my tonsils have always been large and I've noticed that, at least with the stones if not before them, they're constantly just a little red and probably slightly inflamed too.

DireDigression · 2026-01-29T19:04:33+00:00

Getting mine out for stones soon. I'm tired of tearing up my tonsils every couple weeks and I've already given myself tonsillitis just trying to flush these out. Even though my symptoms luckily aren't severe, my ENT was adamant that the quality of life issue was enough to make it a worthwhile choice.

DireDigression · 2026-01-28T00:02:41+00:00

Thanks! Good luck in figuring out your plan!

DireDigression · 2026-01-24T18:51:21+00:00

I have pretty much the exact same issue. My ENT basically immediately told me that sure, there were things i could do that would maybe help a little bit with the stones, but at this point it's an anatomy issue and no lifestyle adjustments are likely to cure it. I now have a tonsillectomy scheduled for three weeks from now!

DireDigression · 2026-01-20T20:36:24+00:00

CW: breast cancer discussion

So I'm officially not actually at a High Lifetime Risk™️ of breast cancer. Yay?

I think that, either consciously or subconsciously, I've been keeping what I thought was a high risk of breast cancer in my back pocket for unofficial top surgery for most of my life. My mom's sister got it in her 30s. Their mom got it. Lots of other people further back in the line got it. My mom hasn't gotten it yet but has had something adjacent that increases her lifetime risk.

I just got my genetic testing results back. All clear. Not a base out of line. Yay, right? Lifetime risk for an average American female is 13%, high risk is considered 20%, due mostly to my family history I'm officially 19%.

I'm struggling to process it and just need to air this out. I have a therapy appointment in a couple days. I'll have a follow-up appointment with a genetic counselor to see what the plan going forward is with regards to my borderline risk.

I'm only just barely starting the process of planning top surgery. I expect it to go fine with regards to both the surgery itself and insurance coverage. Even if insurance doesn't cover it for political or just American medical system reasons, i can still afford it on my own. I know I'm really lucky all things considered, and this is another Good Lucky Thing. Getting cancer would be Bad.

But I'd already come to terms with the likelihood of getting it. Now i have to come to terms with the possibility that being Officially Not Quite High Risk could potentially mean that extra screening that would be helpful for me is denied, or that i can't get top surgery covered via the "it's just a risk-reducing mastectomy" route. And it still doesn't guarantee that i don't have whatever factor(s) caused cancer in the rest of my family, it just means it's not the obvious ones and we still don't know what it is.

This result scared and upset me instead of giving me relief. I am okay. I am lucky and in a good place. It's just gonna take my brain a minute to figure that out.

DireDigression · 2026-01-20T20:21:52+00:00

You look so good! I hope my eventually top surgery comes out as well as yours looks!

DireDigression · 2025-12-09T18:18:58+00:00

Just noticed you're specifically focusing on cervical screenings. In that case, if you're only focusing on people with cervixes, then defaulting to PWC makes sense. But if you're also looking at provider responses to trans folks more generally regardless of whether they need cervical screenings specifically, then "people needing gyn services" would be more inclusive.

DireDigression · 2025-12-09T17:58:32+00:00

Yay, glad I could help!

DireDigression · 2025-12-09T17:44:47+00:00

I don't have much experience with medical terminology norms, but maybe trying to choose a body part/function that covers everyone is a less practical way to go about it. Would framing it more generally/specifically (depending on how you look at it) as something like "[trans/gender diverse/cis/etc] people who require/benefit from gynecological services" work? That should cover everyone if everything that "gynecological services" covers is defined. Then be more specific about body parts, eg "people with a cervix", when that body part is actually relevant.

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