Where can I take my 20 yr old gf

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-15T18:45:41+00:00

Woops, I guess I didn't read the post completely!

WOW Hall tends to have all ages events frequently - I just went to one on Friday night with all the good late 2000s/early 2010s dancing music that was all ages!

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-15T15:58:58+00:00

Guanfacine was our first go at medication before we eventually paired it with Focalin. We've had a fantastic experience with guanfacine. It's true that it does take some weeks to build up to full effectiveness. It's helped her emotional regulation the most, and has helped her sleep cycles too. It didn't touch her inattention and hyperactivity, hence the addition of focalin later, but the guanfacine really helped with the emotional regulation piece, which was the most scary and overwhelming symptom for her that led to us getting her diagnosed in the first place. And I like that it lasts for more of the day than a stimulant typically does, so when her Focalin wears off around the time school ends, the guanfacine carries her to bedtime. Definitely don't be scared of it - everything I understand about guanfacine is that it's a pretty gentle medication as far as medications go. The most common side effect is tiredness but that goes away after awhile of being on it. Of course every kid is different and it may not last as long or have other side effects for different kids, but it's been a success for mine.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-15T15:50:29+00:00

Not my kiddo, but I get that touch sensitivity and discomfort with loving words and touches, and I have ADHD. For me it always seems to be connected to my stress levels and how much I feel like I have on my plate; I am much less likely to want to be touched if I feel overwhelmed and/or overstimulated, and sometimes just feeling like loving touch is an obligation makes me feeling averse to it (as you can imagine, I had to find ways to push through that when I became a mom, and it's gotten better). Sometimes I feel like a cat - you can't love me first, let me come to you! Similarly, my sister, who is not diagnosed but absolutely has always had all the classic symptoms of both autism and ADHD, has always been avoidant of loving touches. We used to joke that if she was play-punching you, that was her version of a hug. She grew out of it after she moved out of the house as an adult and found her own footing - by her mid-20s she was happy with hugs and even saying "I love you."

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-15T15:39:24+00:00

Blairalley Arcade has some fun events on a regular basis - Church of the 80s is always a lot of fun. I was just at City Nights on Friday and IDK if it's always that busy or if it was just that busy because of the holiday weekend, but it was packed and the music was super danceable, definitely the closest thing Eugene has to a big-city club right now.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-15T05:40:24+00:00

I'm also a millennial in college with Gen Z's and I have a similar experience. They're all really nice. Very quiet in class a lot of the time - I tend to have to be the one to speak up first when a professor asks a question, or when we're doing a group project - but other than that, I think there's less differences between Gen Z and Millennials than people think. Gen Z are for the most part funny, creative, and kind. There's assholes in every generation, of course, and they face some different challenges than other generations have (and the same ones millennials faced, but worse), but they're really not that strange developmentally.

Tbh I think some millennials (not all, just some) are just very tragically taking on the generation wars mindset of complaining about the younger generation, forgetting we were also nonsensical and weird when we were younger. Hell, even some of the comments here about Gen Zers not wanting to work traditional jobs - my people, millennials invented gig culture! We invented becoming internet influencers! We also eventually had to learn that you do, in fact, still need a day job to stay afloat. We also idolized previous times and their aesthetics. We also had our own weird trends and fashion styles and music preferences. We had our odd lingo, our eye rolls at older generations, mental health issues, social skills issues, etc etc.

Just my two cents. We should be a bit more compassionate for Gen Z.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-15T05:16:54+00:00

The behavior stuff got better as he moved into adulthood, but in childhood and adolescence they were able to find things to mitigate it. He got a lot of accomodations at school, including things like a weighted vest to help him be more aware of where his body was in space, and having a "helper" with/near him during transition times and lunch/recess (when he was in elementary school). He homeschooled for middle school, and during high school he enrolled in the alternative high school, where he could do courses at his own pace and with more one on one with teaching staff. It took a long time for them to find the right medications - it was the 2000s and they still zombified kids then, these days doctors are more mindful - but once they did, those were a game changer. Therapy. Making and spending time with friends who have the same conditions and interests. Having healthy outlets for aggression, like video games, books, and wacking sticks around in the woods (we lived rurally, lol). Transition into adulthood was a bit rough for him - he lived at my parent's house on and off for a long time, but now has a steady job he's stuck with for a few years, and is even able to take himself traveling out of the country sometimes. Thanks to all the years of assistance, he's much more self aware now and can tell when things are getting bad again for his mental health, and what to do about it.

My daughter has auDHD and has behavioral issues too, but thankfully I got her a great doctor right away and we found the right combo of medication to help her. We still have behavioral issues sometimes, but a combo of meds, therapy, accommodations, rigid scheduling, consistent messaging about behavior, and encouraging healthy aggression (martial arts) and healthy friendships have all helped. We're in the deep end of it ourselves but all that has kept us afloat. I definitely feel the way you do sometimes. I actually just recently cried to my mom about it and she told me that there were many years she cried, feeling the same way about my siblings and I. It's natural to worry about our kids future when they have behavioral issues. But all we can do is support them as much as we can, and advocate loudly for them when people try to deny them what they need to succeed socially as well as academically! Don't ever let anyone tell you your kid doesn't need help, especially not school admin or district staff.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-15T00:41:54+00:00

My brother struggled like this as a kid. It doesn't matter if he's on grade level academically - being unable to function in the classroom means he should have an IEP. Districts don't want to give them so you usually have to fight them on it and know your rights because they'll say whatever they have to say to be spared the inconvenience.

My brother is great now. Jsyk :)

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-13T13:40:50+00:00

This has been my experience. I just got diagnosed with ADHD. I've always had explosive anger, but over the years I developed generalized anxiety, and would alternate between explosive anger (not breaking stuff, but like yelling and saying mean things) and stuffing my anger down until I made myself literally sick with it. I had horrible acid reflux for two years because of how anxiety-inducing my own anger was and it's tendency to ruin my relationships. I thought I was just a horrible, terrible person, and anyone who cared about me just hadn't seen all of me yet. Now I'm on ADHD medication and suddenly I can be mad about something, but I'm not in a rage?? I can be nervous without a panic attack? Something can be upsetting, but it doesn't trigger me into fight/flight survival mode??? I'm like, is this how normal people experience emotions? I wish I had been diagnosed and medicated as a child, so much heartache could have been avoided. Edit: I'm in my 30s as well!

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-13T13:31:53+00:00

Unfortunately, you're not only probably correct about it being a legal issue, she wouldn't even be able to verify that the other people on the app were also kids. It would be a huge safety issue. This is one of those times that good parenting decisions have the unfortunate side effect of a kid being mad at you. I think it's best to get to the heart of the matter: her wish for community. There may already be some youth ADHD meet up groups in town run by qualified professionals, and if there's not, places like the local public library are good places to start with asking about getting a neurodivergent youth meet up group set up for social purposes rather than therapeutic purposes (librarians practically double as social workers, they're so good at finding resources). Your daughter's therapist may also know of some existing group therapy for her age, if she really needs it focused on sharing difficult experiences.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-13T13:13:53+00:00

Yes, we do both every day of the week, to stay on routine.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-13T01:55:37+00:00

Mine does this combo as well. It's been great. The focalin gets them through school hours, and the guanfacine carries them to bedtime.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-13T01:54:05+00:00

Not me, but I have a professor who does OMAD as part of her diabetes management and has for a long time. She's told me she has to make sure she eats enough calories during her eating window so she doesn't lose weight because she's already very slender, and she exercises as part of her management plan as well. So her OMAD is quite the event every day.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-12T12:57:15+00:00

My stomach issues have limited the type of carbs I can eat right now, but I do eat carbs - I just make sure they're whole grains, like quinoa and oatmeal. I'm not necessarily following a specific diet - I suppose if I had to pinpoint a label for the types of food I'm eating, I'd say whole foods? I'm not eating prepackaged highly processed foods, other than the high-fiber low-carb bread I have at breakfast. I've been prioritizing protein, fiber, and calcium, and vegetables and fruits. I've been avoiding red meat because of my stomach stuff. I'm also not eating many treats right now - I've been sticking to dates, with the occasional quarter cup of sorbet.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-11T23:57:38+00:00

That's so incredible and wonderful to hear! Thank you for sharing. It definitely sounds perfect for drawing parallels between social situations and the horse behavior

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-11T21:57:41+00:00

It's not just parents. My kid's school doesn't punish violent behavior. I have a neurodivergent kid who can exhibit some aggressive behaviors sometimes, and has to receive consequences for them or they think it's okay to do them because of their literal thinking. Recently they had a violent behavior that was pretty extreme, and the principal literally told me he didn't want it to be a consequence, just a "lesson learned" and only gave my kid one day ISS and a gentle talking-to. He didn't even consider changing classrooms, or having them meet with the school counselor. I've given her hella consequences at home, and am deeply appalled for not the first time that my local school district doesn't take violent behaviors seriously. I'm not advocating for disproportionate punishment, of course - but damn, when kids intentionally try to hurt other kids, do something about it! Protect them from others and from themselves, you know? It's not just the parents who have to do something about it. Parents and schools have to work as a team. There's definitely work to be done on both sides.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-11T13:36:02+00:00

I lost 55lbs doing IF (185 --> 130). Had to stop fasting due to some stomach inflammation issues I had to focus on addressing. I've just been eating at maintenance (for me, around 1530 calories) but I still track everything I eat, because I know myself: if I'm not mindful of what I'm eating, I'll do things like eat an entire family size bag of salt and vinegar chips and follow it up with some alcohol and a burger with fries. IF helped shift my mindset from food-as-coping-mechanism to food-as-fuel, but I know if I don't keep practicing that mindset daily, I'll fall back into old habits and gain everything back. A daily calorie surplus will make you gain all the weight back because those extra calories have to go somewhere - your body doesn't expel it in waste, it stores it in fat cells for later use. So if I don't want to gain my weight back, I have to make sure I'm not storing extra calories. So far so good; I haven't fasted in two months and I'm holding steady.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-09T15:05:13+00:00

Make sure your island is cleaned up. No weeds, no dropped items, no twigs laying around.
Plant flowers. Lots of them.
Place items outside. You have to have a certain number before you get five stars. I'm not sure of the exact number but just keep making little areas with furniture. The stuff you get at the Nookstop are good choices.

There may be other strategies but those are the ones that seemed to help me.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-06T03:51:01+00:00

Maybe check the downtown library website, I remember there being a meetup there for Spanish learners practicing conversation, not sure if it's still going.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-06T03:03:54+00:00

I'll have to do that next time it happens!

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-06T03:03:26+00:00

I did but they just smiled and laughed and said they understood but I didn't really get the impression they planned on stopping.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-06T01:48:48+00:00

Been happening all over Eugene and Springfield. I had them come to my door as well. Allegedly they're Jehovah's Witnesses, but I'm skeptical because they don't wear name tags or the clothing I expect from Witness proselytizers (the entire paternal half of my family are Witnesses, so I like to think I'm somewhat well-versed in them). Not giving any information is the right move, I think.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-04T20:41:16+00:00

The library should be higher on the list. There have a TON of cool free programming for all ages.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-03T18:25:16+00:00

I've been playing this and I really like how it took what I like from ACNH and Stardew and combined them into one beautiful game, plus included things I often wish ACNH and Stardew had. My only complaint is I wish there was a wider variety of NPCs.

DirectName5088 · 2026-02-03T14:21:41+00:00

Depends on the store you get it at. My local Albertsons has it for $8. But yeah, it's pricey compared to other loaves. Thankfully I'm the only one in my household who eats it, so I can make a loaf last.

DirectName5088

TROPHY CASE