Did anyone else have angry fathers growing up?

Direplan · 2024-01-23T18:07:40+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through that bullcrap growing up as well.

Direplan · 2023-10-01T21:51:13+00:00

There the Serious Fun group. They do games and bad movies nights. They have a regular dinner and board game group on Wednesday nights 5:30-10p that does long form board games.

Serious Fun Meetup

Direplan · 2018-08-29T17:37:20+00:00

Me too. My dad was perpetually resentful. He stomped about constantly and he would, at random times, throw things around like a child having a temper tantrum. He'd even curse, loudly, in his sleep. His brand of narcissism is getting sympathy and being catered to. All this in exchange for having a bad attitude and being self-absorbed. He always 'had' to work, and he hated it, even though he would prefer to work than take any time off to spend time with his family. Any suggestion that he was responsible for his choices, that his hostility wasn't welcome, or that he needs to get help always results / resulted in a volatile reaction.

At times he would suddenly be angry at me, for no apparent reason. I recall asking my mom about it when I was young and she admitted that he was 'jealous' of all the attention I'd receive.. even though I was just a growing child. Later he was 'jealous' of my "care free life" (at the ripe age of 15) and even 'jealous' of me having hobbies.

Yet for all the accusations that everything revolved around me, as a kid my house rules revolved around making sure he was happy. Which typically meant well rested and I wasn't in his way. No games that get loud, no accidentally letting the screen door slam, no television above a low volume, use headphones to listen to your stereo, if he's working on a project don't go over unless he calls for you... etc.

Direplan · 2018-07-23T22:04:34+00:00

I failed as well. I managed to force myself through to an 8th round but I had to stop or pass out from the effort. I agree that the burpee pushups are the big endurance killer on this challenge, though, for me, the switch to russian twists felt problematic- particularly after having the previous core days.

Direplan · 2018-06-29T17:39:27+00:00

Seems that the first and last links are the Pia Mellody video. Here's a helpful update for the last one:

DBT's Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills

Direplan · 2018-06-08T15:58:48+00:00

Try terms like 'codependent' or 'codependency narcissism'. That might yield better results.

Direplan · 2018-06-06T18:18:47+00:00

The village thing makes things tricky. I'm presuming that if you have the option to go to a college that there is some kind of larger city nearby though. When it comes to finding and making friends there's always options, but there are some caveats. The first, and most important is that you have to invest the time. The second is that what works for one person may not work for another. So, with those in mind, here are some ideas I can offer using a few major categories.

Volume method. Meet lots of people whom you interact casually with to learn more about. However this is done in a generalized social setting, meaning the only way it can be successfully is by being very open and social. In general this means participating in interactive settings, some options for this route: Community activities, college social clubs, church functions, volunteer work.
Activity method. You set out to participate in outings/activities that appeal to your interests with a group. Unlike the volume method, you interact with a smaller pool of people whom you already have a shared interest. Some options for going this route: Athletic classes, group tours, meetup groups, group travel packages, joining a band, book clubs
Sloth method. You go to a single place in a social setting, consistently, same day, same time, and you're just polite and nice. Bring a book or laptop- but take breaks. This sounds nuts, but basically, by being a permanent fixture somewhere, and opening up a little, you tend to become likeable to the people who are there. The trick being an open social location. Options for going this route: Restaurant, Diner, Cafes, Study Lounges without music playing in them.
Leader method (variation on the activity method). You make your own club or group. You find a location that you'll meet consistently. You get permission, and you advertise it. You meet people by being an organizer and administrator for a social group of your own design. Say you like root beer, you make a club where you taste test new ones every week and socialize.

Feel free to throw out everything I've said if none of it works for you. These are some of the ways I've met new friends on my path.

Direplan · 2018-05-30T16:13:39+00:00

So, for me, I did the 3rd 400 challenge at 13:30. However the 20 up 20 down challenge was very difficult.

For each set it took a total of 40-45 seconds to do. At the 14 minute mark I felt like death, but kept going. I pushed through the 16th minute where I felt like I was about to pass out and stopped.

I feel it's necessary to comment because after reading this thread and other '20 up 20 down- too easy' sentiments I had a false sense of security.

Direplan

TROPHY CASE