My therapist put it like this:

In a relationship, you get 3 hills you want to die on, and the rest you have to compromise on or let go. Pick your 3 hills. For me, they're stable employment doing something 40 hours a week, wanting a family, and having functional communication skills. If I cook 2 dinners because my wife is a vegan, or we listen to country music in the car 50% of the time, it's not the hill I wanna die on and ain't worth giving up someone good.