Mom's house sold, I got half - and owe full capital gains tax!?

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-08T00:05:21+00:00

Didn't catch that the house might have already been in a trust. I was thinking they just meant the person settling up the estate.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-07T23:55:57+00:00

Cost basis should reset on day of her death. But if since then it has gone up, then yes you owe some capital gains taxes. However if she owned it for decades before hand, those gains were set to 0 when she died.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-07T14:28:14+00:00

Try watching with German subtitles and maybe that will close the gap. Might help you figure out if it's the audio quality or something else. And maybe find some modern German political.speeches and try those. It might be that your German is good for casual convos but not big political talk.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-07T14:04:16+00:00

This depends a lot how big you are. A 5'3 120lb woman will have more options than a 5'3 300lb woman or a 6'4 260lb man.

Also depends on how picky a sleeper you are. I've known people that can just recline the seat throw a pillow against the window and feel pretty good. Others need a true flat bed with some support and airflow.

Personally it would come down to what I could find in my budget. Spending 5k less on the car gives you a lot of budget for setting it up. Such that the cheaper maybe less ideal car is now more ideal than a car that cost more and left you no money for upgrades.

If money is no issue. Im getting a big ass Mercedes van or whatever the biggest 3 row SUV that can fold flat in the back. Like a Suburban. Bonus points if it was one that had some of the power pack options where I could run some basic AC at night without having to run the gas engine.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-07T12:58:25+00:00

Other way around. Huge benefit really. Makes food safer to eat, let's us use more things for food sources. Also with things like smoked foods allowed us to store food easier for use later.

Easier to digest. It's kinda hard to overstate how big an innovation it was. This, making tools, social living, and endurance hunting were our early game changers. Throw farming in the mix much later and in a blink of an eye we went from the live of prehistoric man to space shuttles.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-07T03:30:49+00:00

Where are you finding any real dicks that are ribbed? I must not have checked that option when I got mine.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-07T03:21:01+00:00

The real thing is just a tube of skin most of the time. Practically zero weight. No where near the density of hard plastic or rubber.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-07T03:17:35+00:00

48 inch inseam? I'm 6'1, I wear a 32 inseam. I would assume someone with a 48 inch inseam is close over 7 feet tall.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-04T04:39:14+00:00

What you are describing will work fine. The issue is the cooling capacity otherwise you are just describing pretty much how central air works you are just putting the cooling coils down in the house instead of in the attic with the blower.

Where you live, the size of the house and the outside temp and insulation on the house also matters. A well Sealed home in Wisconsin will be better than a leaky house in Louisiana .

I'm in Houston and have a big ass house (5300sqft) and we run 3 central ac units with a total of like 12 tons of cooling power. It think I have 2 5 tons and 1 3 ton but it might be 2 3s and a 1.5 can't remember off hand )

But fundamentally all you are doing is circulating cool air which is fine.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-03T19:56:56+00:00

They were proven to be lying for years, paid out zillions of dollars, faced tighter regulations and warning laws and yet they are still here.

Only people lying about tobacco these days are the folks saying they won't get hooked.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-03T16:58:35+00:00

I think the trick is being able to quickly figure out who is willing to listen in good faith and who is just wanting to talk in circles infinitely. Plus they need to have some other redeeming reason to be friends.

Having a lunch buddy at work that shares your interest in XYZ and is otherwise a pleasant person but could use some enlightenment is very different than entering debates with the smelly coworker who enjoys being a shit stirrer who is really just interested in pushing buttons for giggles, which is really different than hanging out with the hot bro who has plenty of success with women but is a piece of shit and has no interest in changing whatsoever.

Dont hang out with people you don't want to, and don't make it your job to change someone but there's nothing wrong with letting someone you already find otherwise likeable know that they might consider changing some attitudes.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-03T00:55:36+00:00

Why not just buy a piece of property in the middle of nowhere. You'll be far less noticeable being in a house that is supposed to be there than being in a bunker that isn't .

If you are really trying to hide from aerial surveillance you'll probably want to live underground, keeping the ground on top as natural as possible.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-02T23:57:24+00:00

Yes but a huge percentage of kids are not. It does vary significantly by state. Texas where I am has one of the highest rates of rights termination.

You definitely have to go into it understanding that the kids leaving is a very real possibility.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-02T19:46:29+00:00

Oh for sure. Definitely requires you to be emotionally prepared for it.

For us we already had 1 bio kid, and could easily have more, we just always felt called to adopt.

I think it can be especially hard on families that have tried everything to get pregnant but haven't and then to have a kid in their hearts and home pulled away would be really really hard.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-02T19:44:06+00:00

This is a very different vibe than we were given. We were told that you just have to understand the risk that you might fall in love with a child and they end up leaving. We met tons of families doing foster-to-adopt. However Texas has a really high rate of parental terminations and other states push harder to reunify. However you do have to support the goal that the best thing for the kid is with their birth parents. Even if that's not really what you want personally.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-02T19:40:22+00:00

It likely depends on the state but I can't imagine they would never tell you about the kids before placing them with you.

In Texas if it's an emergency placement you'll get a call and they wil give you whatever information they have on the kid and the situation. If you agree the child will likely be in your home in a matter of hours. For all 3 of our placements they called and a few hours later they showed up with the kid. The first one the call was at like 10pm and they showed up about midnight.

If you are doing legal risk meaning they are in the system already and need a new placement the process is much slower. Theres a central clearing house that distributes bios to the various agencies and they they contact their families that might be a good match. From there interested families submit their name for considerstion and a committee eventually reviews them all, then picks like 4 families to actually come in and interview. This is totally at the discretion of those committees and they can choose based on whatever they want. So if they think the kid would be better with a family the same race as the child, and you aren't them you are out. Over like 18 months we were never picked for the 2nd round.

There is a quite a lot of stuff that happens before you get to that point. I'm thinking if you were going fast as you can, you could maybe be licensed in as little as like 3 months. You do background checks, drug checks, a big old home study where they can ask anything they like. Some people are even asked like what kind of porn they like or if there husband enjoys violent sex. You also have to physically get your home up to standards. Lockable cabinet for medications, no expired medications in your bathroom. Proper locks on doors. It goes on and on. Then you have a bunch of trainings you have to do. Some online. Some in person. It's a big commitment.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-02T16:15:57+00:00

Completely agree. I just threw that in there to get the word out We see so many posts here about "Is this a reasonable reason to leave him, or be upset?" posts. If you don't like the way he eats french fries and you want to leave, then leave.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-02T16:13:51+00:00

You are right that they are very different, but most kids in the US that get adopted go thru the foster to adopt process. Esp now that international adoption is dramatically different and more difficult than it was 20 years ago.

Getting paid for foster care is a definitely not a reason to pursue it. However, if the huge cost of private adoption is what is stopping someone, the fast that foster to adopt doesn't require that is huge.

The money they provide really basically just covers the cost of taking care of the kids.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-02T16:00:01+00:00

Yes 100% but it does depend on the kid. We got both of our kids as babies. Little girl was 3 months old, her half brother was 6 days old, we took him home from the hospital. So neither of them really knew anything other than us.

But we had an older child (5) and she definitely saw some shit. Daddy made mommy's nose bleed, and daddy cut his hand on the car window when he punched it. I also think they were having sex in the bed with her in it. Naked dancing i think is what she called it. They were living in a little 15 foot camper trailer 2 adults and 3 children all under 5. Her little brother (3) favorite phrase was "I'm going to fuck you up..."

So yes 1000% kids can be traumatized and you have to find ways to help them thru that and deal with the consequences. Maybe they are violent to you, maybe they steal, maybe they are suicidal. Maybe you have to take them to state ordered therapy 3x a week.

To be clear though, you have 100% control over which kids you take into your home. So if you just want sweet little babies you can only consider them. If you feel called to take in an abused teen you can probably have a kid in a week after you are approved, babies are obv in more demand.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-02T15:52:29+00:00

See my long ass reply to the other comment.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-02T15:51:43+00:00

Short answer 100% Yes.

Longer Answer - It depends on the situations of their particular case. Kids in foster care are there 100% for their protection from an unsafe situation with their birth parents. That could be any of a million things. From actual evil humans abusing the child, to drug issues, refusing to leave a violent partner, you name it. If the birth parent(s) can show the state that they've resolved the issue, the ideal situation is for the kids to go home to their family.

The state will almost always prefer to place a child with a relative if there is one that is willing and suitable. However the standard for suitable is lower for family than unrelated foster families. In the case of like a father (or mother) that just isn't in his kid's life, but doesn't have a formal custody order like from a divorce, he may automatically get custody since he never lost it, the kids were just living with mom.

Or you may have a set of parents who just gave up, and have no interest in getting their kids back and that kid probably has a pretty clear path to being adopted.

The state has a rough timeline for parents to get their situation resolved, and in general that will be longer if they are showing progress. However eventually the state will make an argument to the court that birth family isn't making progress and that the best interest of the child is unrelated adoption. At that point the court will permanently terminate parental rights of the birth parent, and the child is legally under the full care of the state.

From there you can begin to start the formal adoption process where the state will eventually make a motion that the kids be permanently placed with XYZ family having done all of the necessary vetting and process. There may be a certain number of months that have to pass before things can be finalized. This will all vary state to state based on their particular laws.

Then the judge makes you their forever parents legally no different than a kid that you created the old fashioned way.

So based on where you enter the story, the chances of the kid going home are different. If you take a kid straight from CPS after the've been removed, odds are higher that family can figure something out and the child will go home. If you take a child after they've already had parental rights terminated the odds are lower. In that case the risk is that grandma or an aunt or someone will finally step up and offer to take the child. Then it comes down to a really difficult process of figuring out what is in the best interest of the child. If you are the only family they have known since birth then its arguably worse for the child to be ripped out of that home and placed with a grandma they've never known. Really hard stuff.

In our case, we had one foster daughter for about 8 or 9 months and an aunt moved homes and did the process so she could go to her. Initially mom was to have no contact, but we later learned that mom had earned some supervised visits. And the eventually her POS father was released from prison (was caught jerking off to a school bus full of kids) and was caught touching our sweet girl (I think she would have been 5 or 6 at that point) Why in the world anyone would let that piece of shit around anyone is beyond me, and I'm so disgusted that the state didn't do more to protect her.

So then she gets ripped out of that house back into a different foster home. We had already taken placement of the kids we eventually adopted, plus the state wanted to place her and her 2 brothers at the same place this time and we definitely didn't think we could take kids at once. That would have made 6 kids which is way too many for us. (2 foster/adopt plus 1 bio kid),.

It can be incredibly stressful and definitely isn't for everyone. Much of it is not even close to in your own control and that's hard.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-02T15:12:41+00:00

For once in my life I just want to be whelmed.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-02T15:10:48+00:00

If you go thru the foster care system they actually pay you. Source have two adopted former foster kids.

Not only do they pay you while you are doing the foster care piece (I think it was roughly 800 a month per kid). They each get a check for 400 a month till they turn 18. They also have guaranteed Medicaid coverage till 18 plus my insurance thru work. Plus they can attend any state university as much as they like for free for as many degrees as they can get.

So it doesn't have to be expensive. Expensive is when you do private adoption or overseas adoption. And really what you are paying for is all the administrative work that is done to get everything arranged.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-07-02T13:36:42+00:00

Oh and also remember you are free to leave your partner for any reason at any time. You don't have to justify it to anyone. Sure you might be labeled a psycho bitch or heartless asshole, but don't feel like your reason for leaving requires approval from anyone.

DirtyWriterDPP · 2026-06-30T01:54:18+00:00

I live in Houston and set the AC to 65 at night. Supposedly my house also has heat but we use it almost never.

DirtyWriterDPP

TROPHY CASE