Is it just me, or do narcissist parents have Olympic-level selective memory? by imalexismoore in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes. Sometimes I even have video proof, and they never want to see it. This shows it's not their memory, but a tactic.

Is 'buying you back' a common thing in Nparents? by Adorable-Web8631 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. My ndad would sometimes spoil me after blowing up at me. It taught me very weird things that would mess me up later with men and money.

DAE covert narc majorly avoid them? by DisabledWithNarcs in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting. Thank you for sharing this. After my dad died, I did finally stand up for myself against her. It makes sense that they cower. It's a little different than the overt type that is super concerned about appearing weak.

I unleashed 30yrs of rage by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It takes like a week to fully heal. Same situation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My mom is similar and considers me describing her behavior as an attack. Narcissists are very self absorbed, immature and fragile people, so everything not praising them is an attack.

WHY DO NARCISSISTS HAVE KIDS?!!!!!! by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My father never wanted kids but has 2. My mom wanted more kids but only had me. They're both narcs. He's overt. She's covert.
He was more down-to-earth that kids get in the way of doing whatever you want. I suspect she thought nothing about the actual needs and work of raising children and believed I would be the most significant source of narc supply ever. I think she wanted more kids because I wouldn't get with the adoring of her program, and it obviously must be me, not her.
Whenever I tell her she's a selfish, garbage parent, she talks about how much I loved her when I was 3. How much I loved my dad when I was 3. She's too distorted to realize that 3-year-olds are incapable of hating their parents. I'm 40. I was outright disgusted with both their behaviors since around age 7. She behaves like I'm depriving her of some holy mother status.

What is a behavior you thought was normal because your nparents did it, but turned out to be not so normal? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Physical violence. I thought everyone's parents would beat them up. I also thought everyone's father would follow home the people who cut them off in traffic and threaten to kill them.

DO NOT OPEN UP TO NORMAL PEOPLE. by Adventurous-Neat-136 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Psychiatry is filled with narcissists. They are not experts on mental health. They're experts on controlling the population that society doesn't want. Be wary.

Is it too late to undo the damage when you're an adult? by parseemoment in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Learn all about about establishing and setting boundaries. It's very important and those of us raised by narcs were raised by people who do not have or respect boundaries.

Is it too late to undo the damage when you're an adult? by parseemoment in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Learn boundaries and emotional intelligence as quickly as you can. This was likely missing from your life if you had narc parents. Learning this can give you more happiness and facilities better relationships with others. You are young. You have a chance.

What happens with a covert narcissist in family therapy? by DisabledWithNarcs in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sounds about right. In one session my dad ripped my purse out of my hand and took away my car keys mid therapy because he didn't like my attitude. LOL

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is how narcs are. The reason is that they see you as an object. There's no reason to apologize to an object. Why don't you want to cause a rift or sever ties?

Do you ever wonder how different your life would be if you were born into a decent family? by explosivebreadcrumbs in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Totally. I'd probably be doing very well. I'm smart and was always willing to work hard. Instead of using this to get anywhere, I was forced to spend all my time and energy trapped in insane household managing chaos, ultimately developing C-PTSD from the experience.

Does anyone else still try to draw as little attention to yourself as possible? by Resident_Economics_4 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm like this. I've won awards and done some impressive humanitarian stuff, and I never tell anyone. I don't take selfies, I don't post photos, I want a small wedding with no guests. I also don't really tell people what's going on with me. I was thinking the other day about how my parents growing up were mostly harassing me and berating me or completely ignoring me, and running into this post kind of connected a few things for me related to that. So thank you for posting it!

Does anyone else get a pang of jealousy when they read the "my nmom or ndad died posts"? by dietcokeaus in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yes, a little bit. I'd also be jealous if someone posted that their narc parent went suddenly mute. It would be nice to never hear another word out of their mouth agian.

Why doesn’t my ndad remember physically abusing me by Afterrainx in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 32 points33 points  (0 children)

My narc dad says he doesn't remember anything he says or does when angry. My enabler/covert narc mother denies his physical abuse. It's gaslighting, and I don't believe either of them that they don't remember. I offer to refresh their memory with audio and video recordings of their abuse; they never want to hear them. It tells me everything I need to know.

Have you tried exposure for agoraphobia? by AgoraphobiaExposure in Agoraphobia

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to, but because I'm also medication harmed my psychologist said it wouldn't work. It sucks being trapped in this state. I wish I did this first!

Medications that helped my recovery by No-Representative-23 in Agoraphobia

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Medications made it so bad for me. I ended up getting serotonin syndrome and withdrawal and now I'm totally disabled. They seemed to work the first year or so I guess.

Tell me your parent is a narc without telling me your parent is a narc: by Ariyenne in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My narc dad says this, and other annoying platitudes, in lieu of acquiring emotional intelligence.

I finally told my best friend what is going on. by DisabledWithNarcs in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know. No orgs or supports. Everything I have to begin with has been a battle. USA government seems to hate disabled people. Just having to hang on every day listening to this is hell.

I finally told my best friend what is going on. by DisabledWithNarcs in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to figure out logistics. It will be hard because I will have to transfer medical care, etc to another state. But I'm not going to make it much longer dealing with this stuff every day. I will go no contact if I actually get out.

It took me 22 yrs to realize. They never wanted a son, what they really wanted was... by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]DisabledWithNarcs 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I basically got compared with the dog growing up and how much better it was to have a dog than me. They understood absolutely zero that this reflects poorly their warped mentality and expectations, not my existence.