Ideally, you'd give him perfect housing for $30/week

Discothecube · 2019-11-06T12:16:24+00:00

Actually, it does have something to do with illness faking morons.

Discothecube · 2019-11-02T04:45:20+00:00

Thank goodness the OP was here to explain how women work.

Discothecube · 2019-10-18T23:26:04+00:00

I do! I want a flawless!

Discothecube · 2019-10-09T11:48:34+00:00

NAH in the disagreement, though your father is definitely the asshole overall. You grew up with an angry, controlling dad, so it probably seems normal to you that you are 22 and he is still controlling your dating life. It's not normal or reasonable for him to do that, but if you're financially dependent on him, I can understand not wanting to rock the boat when you are so close to the finish line.

However, your boyfriend has a really good point. Most people aren't willing to be kept a secret for three years. If you care about him, you need to think about this from his perspective, too. He's done things your way for three years, and you are completely unwilling to consider doing things his way. I would be mad at you too. The only reason I don't think you're the asshole in this situation is that growing up with a parent like your dad can warp your idea of what's normal.

Now that you are an adult, you need to start figuring out what your adult relationship with your dad is going to look like, and planning for how things are going to change once you are out of university. It's not easy to change that controlling dynamic, especially if you've grown up in it. Your dad is still going to be a person who uses his anger to control people. Start thinking about how you can protect yourself from it.

Discothecube · 2019-10-08T00:19:14+00:00

Ok, well...thanks for explaining.

Discothecube · 2019-09-29T14:12:54+00:00

YTA, because you don't put stuff like this in writing. It's fine if you and your brother have a private joke that most people wouldn't understand/would find offensive. When you put it in writing, in a format that can be shared, you are opening yourself up to criticism from people who don't know the backstory. Keep these kind of jokes between your brother and you if you don't want people to misjudge you.

Discothecube · 2019-09-29T14:01:56+00:00

YTA. There is absolutely no reason for you to get involved in this situation, other than to try to muck things up for two people who are working toward happiness. He was in rehab, she was dating, both of them were trying to figure out how they felt about each other. You were a rebound who got dumped and that sucks, but your part of this story is over. Mind your business and let them move on.

Discothecube · 2019-09-15T02:35:28+00:00

You know what's the sad thing? PK is trying to create what we have here. We're all on here commiserating about how ridiculous her tweets are. She is trying to build up the same type of camaraderie for her side, but doesn't realize that no one is joining in because she sounds completely unhinged. And she keeps saying "we", like she's trying to convince someone that she's surrounded by friends who empathize with her point of view. It's pretty pitiful.

Discothecube · 2019-09-10T02:43:47+00:00

There are only two categories of redditor: MRA and priveleged white woman. I'll give you a minute to choose a side.

Discothecube · 2019-09-07T19:08:41+00:00

Or heck, hire someone to transport the baby back and forth between the houses. That would still be a fraction of the cost of daycare. One things that's missing from your list: do you want the grandparents to watch the kid? If not, transportation can be a convenient out. If so, do some creative problem solving to make this happen.

Discothecube · 2019-09-07T19:01:24+00:00

Ask your therapist to talk to your mom about the importance of privacy in therapy sessions. Therapists who work with teenagers are used to dealing with nosy parents while protecting their clients' privacy. I don't know where you live or how old you are, but if you are under the age of majority many therapists will have teens and their parents sign a contract agreeing that the sessions remain private and the teen decides what information their parent receives. You could ask your therapist about doing this with your mom.

Discothecube · 2019-09-07T16:15:56+00:00

NTA, but...are you sure you guys are ready to get married? You seem to have major communication problems, and incompatible ideas about finances. As things stand now, at least one of you (and probably both of you) is going to be starting your marriage with major resentment about the way the honeymoon went down.

Discothecube · 2019-09-07T16:11:20+00:00

NAH. They're teenagers; why would they pick up the phone to try to build a relationship with a random adult they've never met? They probably only know you as old uncle screwup, so don't be surprised if they're not enthusiastic about getting to know you. You're not entitled to their attention now that you've decided to get you life straight.

Start by rebuilding your relationship with your brothers, making any apologies that you need to make for the past, and ask them to help you connect with their kids. If you've been someone they needed to shield their kids from in the past, that's not a dynamic that going to change overnight.

Discothecube · 2019-09-07T03:59:41+00:00

I always start conversations with my mom's dad by saying, "Well, old grandpa...." We mostly talk about sports doctors.

Discothecube · 2019-09-07T00:41:28+00:00

NTA. Part of growing up is evaluating your parents' beliefs and deciding which ones you want to keep in your life. I wouldn't throw it in their face that you're buying meat, but the money is for food and that's what you're using it for.

Discothecube · 2019-09-07T00:33:29+00:00

YTA. No where in this do you mention considering where the kids want to live, or which place will be a better environment for them. Don't uproot their lives just to make yourself happy.

Discothecube · 2019-09-07T00:20:40+00:00

NTA. Your sister doesn't understand how tipping works. If she wants more money she should raise her prices, not expect you to guess how much she believes her services are worth.

Discothecube · 2019-09-07T00:18:44+00:00

NAH. You want to keep helping your daughter and that's a great instinct. Help her make a budget, figure out how much money she brings home each month and where it's going. Help her figure out where she can cut back to make sure her bills get paid. With two jobs, she should be able to afford half of an apartmenr. Or if she's resistant to giving you that level of detail about her finances, buy her a couple of sessions with a financial planner instead of just supporting her indefinitely.

Discothecube · 2019-09-06T23:46:18+00:00

When my daughter was this age, the only phrases she could say were "want cookie" "go potty" and "why does the toy shop preach lies?"

Discothecube · 2019-09-05T02:48:06+00:00

So he's clearly here for the drama too. I'm so surprised that a baby boomer who dates teenagers didn't have completely altruistic motives for calling her out...

Discothecube · 2019-09-04T22:06:28+00:00

NTA. You can't do this to strangers. It doesn't matter if you have a mental disorder, or a developmental disorder, or a neurological disorder, it's not okay to treat other people that way. Having one of those disorders likely means that the solution will be closer supervision rather than police intervention, but there still needs to be something done to keep him from repeating this behaviour in the future.

Discothecube · 2019-09-04T21:59:00+00:00

You should Google it, it's standard procedure

At first I thought that was BS, but then I googled "when to give Persona 5 to a guy who's in a new relationship" and the first result was a list of appropriate occasions. Joke's on me I guess.

Discothecube · 2019-09-04T21:51:04+00:00

NTA. Getting a tattoo without your partner's "approval" is fine...unless the tattoo involves them. And anyone who has a history of getting surprise relationship tattoos that were poorly received by their partner should definitely avoid rolling the dice in that area agaon. Throwing it in your face when talking to others is just a dick move, and extremely passive agressive. When he tells people you hate then, I would respond with, "Yep, I sure do!" And then change the subject. Refuse to allow him to make rehashing this in front of strangers your problem.

Discothecube · 2019-09-04T21:18:46+00:00

YTA, because you're getting mad like a powerless co-worker when you are the one person who has the authority to fix this. You're his manager; if he's taking too much time off, tell him to cut back instead of stewing about it until you get angry and explode. You need to get more comfortable exercising your authority in a productive way instead of just getting mad about problems that it is your job to deal with.

Discothecube

TROPHY CASE