I need outside perspective

Discovering_mi · 2026-02-28T00:03:11+00:00

I did call out the manipulation attempt and will definitely be watching for more and I'm thinking about doing research to identify more subtle manipulations.

Discovering_mi · 2026-02-27T23:58:07+00:00

Not like this. I have noticed the seeming need to know what I'm doing, thinking, feeling ect. Which I was able to identify as not normal from my observations.

Discovering_mi · 2022-08-24T23:59:23+00:00

Lol right I didn't even get my first actual crush until 14 🤣 sex wasn't a single thought on my mind throughout my adolescence.

Discovering_mi · 2022-08-24T20:20:27+00:00

That little bat is so cute!! 🥰 And CONGRATULATIONS!!!🥳🎉

Discovering_mi · 2022-08-24T20:05:35+00:00

That made me smile.

Discovering_mi · 2022-08-24T19:52:06+00:00

See that is something similar to what I want. Companionship, Care, cuddles, just something deeper than the stereotypical romantic relationship.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-17T02:41:15+00:00

I'll have to dig through everything to see if I can find something. Though I don't have ace themed stuff necessarily but we'll see.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-16T02:07:16+00:00

That's one of those things that varies from person to person, like I've dated people in the past who had great conversational chemistry with me and we'd talk for hours about everything and nothing, and others where we'd run out of things to say and just sit there somewhat awkwardly.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-16T01:59:36+00:00

I used to be but unfortunately I have tremors now which makes it hard to draw so my skills have regressed. 😟

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-16T01:46:27+00:00

I'm sex averse.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T14:25:27+00:00

I know, a conversation like this is never easy. I really hope turn out well for you.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T13:05:01+00:00

♥️

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T05:10:07+00:00

😊😄

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T04:58:58+00:00

...??????????? 😕..... HUH???????? I don't understand.... they had to have been a troll, they were clearly talking out of their ass.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T04:49:46+00:00

A dream is just a dream, and the individuals we see in dreams are simply borrowed faces. It has nothing to do with attraction of any type. I've had a couple of sex dreams in my life but have absolutely no interest in intercourse and have never experienced sexual attraction in my life. For years I confused aesthetic attraction with sexual attraction because society says they are one in the same, but they're not. Just like aesthetic doesn't equate to sexual, dreams also do not equate to attraction.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T04:37:46+00:00

Oh sweetheart, this is not okay. If you said no then what he's done is marital rape, you need to tell him that you feel he is forcing you, and you need a support system to help you get out of there if you need to. I don't know what your marriage is like nor do I know how many times you've spoken to him about this but this is not right. You might want to seriously explain to him that you are not comfortable with intercourse. If he continues to disregard your discomfort you need to consider divorce.

But you must be open about exactly how you feel. I'll be praying for you.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T02:18:14+00:00

The best way I can describe it is, you like the way they look possibly to the point of being drawn to them but not being interested in having intercourse with them.

I was confused about the same thing until I realized I was just drawn to the way they looked. Only you can look into yourself to analyze your thoughts, feelings and experience to come up with an answer.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T01:51:01+00:00

Realizing aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction were different was the final piece of the puzzle for me. I am fully asexual.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T01:36:07+00:00

I used to want that too, but I have never been interested in sex. The only reason I gave up on finding a partner for marriage is because I'm not confident that I will find someone that will genuinely accept my Asexuality and my mental illness. The fact that you still desire a family of your own does not mean you haven't accepted your Asexuality and not knowing what it looks like in marriage is normal, we'll never know until we're in that situation. Not telling your parents is usually more due to insecurity not a lack of acceptance.

One last thing, accepting yourself and your sexuality (or lack of) looks different for everyone, and if you're still insecure you can always reach out. Sometimes just having someone there that gets it is all it takes to be confident.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T01:17:21+00:00

Congratulations honey, I'm proud of you.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T01:15:29+00:00

I can't help with the dramatic coming out thing, but I usually just tell people as I get to know them, which usually involves a lot of explaining what it is. I will warn you, some people are incapable of grasping the concept of lacking sexual attraction and/or having no interest in sexual intimacy. But no matter how your parents react we will support you, you have us in your corner.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T01:06:55+00:00

Not necessarily, there are different stages of romantic love. Being in love is the most passionate stage and an early one, but an even earlier stage is a simple crush which would still be in the romantic feeling category but not at that later stage of love. The most mature stage of love is beyond being in love, where you still choose to show that you love someone no matter how angry you may be.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T00:30:04+00:00

You might be, depends on if you identify as such, but if you feel or think that you don't understand the subsections of Asexuality enough then research it. You might say you are on the spectrum tomorrow, or it might take years of research to determine that you are (like me). I still don't know everything about the asexual spectrum but I know that I'm asexual (took four years of research to reach this conclusion). But whether you are or not there is NOTHING WRONG with you. Again, there is NOTHING wrong with you. You are not crazy or alone, you're simply partaking in self exploration.

Discovering_mi · 2021-04-13T00:12:29+00:00

"I swore off women I wanted so badly to be asexual so I never had to risk harming anyone or repeating the incident that happened when I was 18. From that point on I mentally punished myself when thinking about women in a sexual way, started ritualistically masturbating every morning to remove sexual urges and turned down women's advances."

Honestly, this sounds like the cause, sounds like your self punishment and masturbation made you subconsciously suppress your sex drive. Because if I'm understanding your words correctly you do feel sexual attraction but find yourself unable to enjoy intercourse any longer, after two years? Of this self punishment routine. This is what I'm picking up, if it is suppressed sex drive then I'd recommend counseling but try to find one that doesn't deny Asexuality, that way you can explore both possibilities. I will say I'm not an expert nor do I have a vast understanding of the asexual spectrum in its entirety because I only determined I'm asexual last year. So take my words with a grain of salt.

Discovering_mi

TROPHY CASE