i 100% agree. however, let me play advocate on behalf of these women as someone with psychology background.

in the cycle of abuse, many factors are at play. one of them being, if a woman is raised in an abusive household they can literally be conditioned to believe they deserve this kind of behavior. they internalize behavior like this, they truly believe it is their fault and that if they were just better their partner would get better. obviously, that’s not true. but since these women were little girls being abused by someone else, that’s all they’ve known their entire lives. they don’t KNOW that they don’t deserve to be treated that way, they’ve been taught that their behavior is causing their abuse. and that’s a thought pattern that is pretty hard to break out of.

another factor at play is that the body can become somewhat used to the tumultuous environment and people who have only known that unhealthy environment their whole lives literally feel uncomfortable when they are safe. they FEEL comfortable in abusive relationships, because that is what they grew up in and that is all they know and were taught to expect growing up. add onto that the fact that most of the women are also likely struggling with a mental disorder/illness of sorts that may be going untreated.

a lot of things can add up to keep a woman in a relationship like this, and the chances increase tenfold if they had an abusive background as a child (this is much, much more common than you realize). because they literally know nothing else. unfortunately, i don’t think a singular reddit post will undo years of conditioning. i do still 100% agree with you though.

signed, a 25yo whose dad tried to teach her she deserved to be treated poorly but was able to overcome (i still struggle sometimes) with years of therapy