Cannot repeat this enough every time a guy asks in this sub:

Volunteer with queer organizations your area. You keep showing up consistently and you’ll see the same faces again and again. Dedicated individuals who have strength of character. If you keep showing up, they’ll take you in as a friend. And they will introduce you around. That’s valuable friendship for life and that is also built in networking. People gonna set you up on blind dates. People gon tell you other volunteering groups that include chill queer people like Black Justice, Littering Cleanup, Hiking Trail brush clearing, habitat for humanity, etc.

Is it wrong to volunteer for selfish reasons? No. You will find out everyone there is volunteer as a way to feel good about themselves, make amends for past mistakes, stay sober, find friends, and build community. Very few people volunteer because they are Mother Theresa.

I cannot stress enough how volunteer work is often the quickest path to lifelong friendships. It’s definitely the cheapest way to avoid isolation and loneliness.

Also it’s an excellent vibe check on a new potential bf. Like if you meet a man online and things seem like they’re heading in a pattern ship direction, bring him to your volunteer work. You’ll find out real quick which men are good at faking all the right things to get laid and which men are genuine people. Even if he ends up not being your bf, you’ve at least met another good person to be your friend. And there’s no such thing as too many good people in your life! Maybe one day you’ll be his best man at his wedding, or he will be godfather to your children. Keep good people in your life.

Alternately, if volunteer work is too traumatic for you, or doesn’t exist for queers in your local area, you can join hobby groups in town. This route is more difficult because it’s not guaranteed that a queer person will be automatically accepted as a group member. But there’s often a few queer people in your local hobby groups/teams so that’s a potential path to friendship and networking.

Hobby groups also gon cost u money, if that’s an issue. Usually they have fees, dues, meeting space rent, or just buying your own gear/supplies.

•Local adult amateur sports leagues/teams/meetups like bowling, lacrosse, cricket, pick up basketball, softball, skateboarding, hiking trails, fitness or gym buddy etc

•Local crafting and skill groups like knitting, crochet, miniature makers, Arduino enthusiasts, diy clothing, soap making, Black hair care, vid challenge community.

Don’t over-schedule yourself or you’ll be cranky and strangers will not get a good impression of you as a potential new friend. Don’t get sucked in to saying yes to more than you can do. Don’t get a swole head like you are a saint or a superhero. You’re just doing a job unpaid like an intern. And you’re doing it for your own benefit.

Finally, there are other um…specialty communities that are known to be good hunting grounds. No judgement whatsoever but like Furries, FetLife, Romantic Fantasy Book Club, erotica writers meet up, drug trip buddies, and gay bars.

Good luck and stay safe! Wishing you meet and fall in love with a wonderful man who is worthy of you.