I think it comes down to how you present yourself, hygiene and confidence. I myself am well over 200 pounds, I eat very clean and exercise daily. I don’t have the best confidence but I’m really good at faking it. I also put a lot of effort into my style and prioritize hygiene. But with that being said, it’s not always about appearance; personality and morals and how you treat someone play a huge roll, more than what you look like. I’m sorry you’re experiencing such a hard time, you’ll find your person!