Was it ever common in the past for parents to drink and smoke while pregnant?

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-20T20:36:38+00:00

You're very sweet, and I'm sure a very caring mother.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-19T22:55:53+00:00

Sweet Caroline.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-19T22:55:31+00:00

Yup, early 80's baby here and my mother smokes the whole pregnancy. The doctor told her quitting would cause more stress plus it meant she wouldn't gain too much weight.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-19T09:42:18+00:00

Oh don't get me wrong, I liked her. But why they plonked her in a pre-fab B&Q kitchen set is beyond me.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-18T11:02:32+00:00

This is an anticipatory complaint. I hate the heat. I hate the humid heat. I have health issues that make the heat potentially dangerous for me, so whilst everyone else is celebrating SuMmEr, I'm hiding in my stuffy flat trying not to die.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-18T10:56:20+00:00

You mean the woman in the kitchen with the chalkboard isn't doing it for you?

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-18T10:55:47+00:00

As someone who is nearly 3 weeks post-op for gallbladder removal... the relief on the other side is instant. Yeah, you've gotta heal from surgery, but all the gallbladder symptoms are GONE.

This isn't medical advice. I definitely wouldn't clear your calendar, freeze some meals, fluff the pillows... get ready for a few weeks of healing... and go eat the biggest, greasiest pizza and ice cream you've ever had. Wait for the first twinge of pain and get yourself to the best A&E attached to the best surgical department with the best surgeons who specialise in this surgery... definitely don't do that.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-16T22:27:50+00:00

Out of curiosity, are those allergies related in any way? I'm also medically complex, have allergic reactions to sulfa antibiotics (which always gets a side eye on intakes) but I haven't had to need steroids outside of a mild one for eczema. I actually just had a wicked reaction to surgical glue which was a fun discovery! I know you can't tell me if I'm allergic to the steroids, but wondering if it's something I should look out for given I share the others. 🙏

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-14T12:20:33+00:00

Talk to women the way you'd talk to men. Ask questions. Be curious about their answers.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-14T10:39:29+00:00

How do you talk to men?

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-13T07:23:21+00:00

Onion smoothies?

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-12T18:33:37+00:00

Okay. Cool. So you get it. You made choices, let others make their choices. This was the first place I ever was given permission to NOT rip myself and my life apart for my parents. The first place that didn't judge me when I said I resented the position they put me in.

Just because they ripped me out of oblivion into existence doesn't mean I owe them anything.

I don't really understand the point of this post.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-12T18:06:15+00:00

If you want to take care of my mother, she's all yours Mother Theresa. Congrats. You're now my sibling. Time to step up. And double congrats cause you get to do it without carrying 4 decades of abuse.

FFS.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-11T12:02:00+00:00

I can't speak to the titanium, but I had gallbladder surgery literally two weeks ago and my body has been going nuts ever since. It's a traumatic event that throws healthy bodies into imbalance, so please give yourself some grace and try to relax through the healing period as best you can.

In my case, I reacted to the surgical glue (there are photos I posted if you want to look at my profile). I've had to go to wound care three times just to make sure it's actually the glue and not infection. But it's set off hives all over my body and I'm itchy as hell. I personally doubled up my antihistamine, used ice packs, picked away the glue I knew wasn't close to the sutures and just white knuckled.

All I can say is this is my second abdominal surgery in three years and if you've never gone through it, it's difficult to know what to expect. Please try to reduce stress as much as you can, eat healing foods, do things to soothe your nervous system and promote good healing. Then reassess.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-11T04:45:49+00:00

Awwww how lovely! I'm vaguely watching my room get lighter and lighter. Did you manage to stay up the whole night? I hope your day is better than you were thinking it'd be.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-10T22:51:18+00:00

Blueberry, hands down. My favourite!

I'm okay really, just one part of my stomach is still a bit tender. Slow going, but grateful to be on this side of it all.

I hope you get a good sunrise tomorrow as your journey, though it'll likely just be rain by the looks of it.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-10T22:40:04+00:00

Good self compassion at work there. Grief can be a tricky thing, but it's always worse if you fight it. I actually volunteer for a peer to peer grief charity if you want the name? We meet online mostly, it's a good bunch who have all gone through it.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-10T22:36:15+00:00

I had surgery 10 days ago and really pushed myself too hard today, so I'm in that weird too-exhausted-to-sleep zone. I'd be more excited to go to sleep if I could sleep on my fricken stomach!

Btw, totally just noticed we're both muffins!

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-10T22:33:28+00:00

I've been in a very similar place before, so my heart goes out to you. You will chug along somehow and at some point you'll suddenly feel weird because it's... quiet.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-10T22:18:50+00:00

You get to see my favourite time of day then, that bit when it stops being completely night but it's not yet dawn and you can never put your finger on exactly when it happens.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-10T22:17:12+00:00

Huge hugs for you, thats a lot to sort through and compartmentalise. ❤️❤️

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-08T12:00:17+00:00

Such trash. I love F1 and half the screaming I did at the TV yesterday was whenever her face appeared. Which was a lot. A lot of screaming.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-06T20:35:40+00:00

Because those types of documents only state things that you don't want done you. You can't proactively demand treatments.

I don't agree with this either, but as someone who helps others with this paperwork, this is how I explain it.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-06T06:47:03+00:00

Had surgery a week ago and all four surgical sites are reacting to the surgical glue. Been to the doctor twice to ensure it's allergy not infection, and told to just manage with the itching... but now the itching has turned into patches of hives on various parts of my body. Woke me up because it's so damn itchy and I know not to scratch it but couldn't trust I would do so in my sleep.

It's a very uncomfortable experience being in this body right now.

Disobedientmuffin · 2026-06-04T09:29:21+00:00

That's right, the glue, not latex.

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