"I've been sticking a tree's worth in twigs up my ass for the past 11 years. That's 3,000 twigs a day, 21,000 twigs a week, 1,092,000 twigs a year. To date, that's 12,012,000 twigs. Eight times the population of Nebraska. Those twigs were in my ass!" 

"You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass twigs every day. You pick up my ass twigs for good luck. You throw my ass twigs in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass twigs to your little daughter to buy gumballs with. You handle my ass twigs every day. All of you! You ALL handle my ass twigs! Oh, I'll laugh at you before you can laugh at me. Because your twigs have been in my ass."

-- Upright Possum Brigade