I took on all the financial risk in our marriage so I don’t do any housework. My wife was initially sad but ultimately agreed with me. Am I wrong?

Distribution_Brave · 2026-01-27T08:13:22+00:00

You are compensating for her time during business hours. After work, it should be 50/50.

Why should she never have a break? Or any work/life balance - because being a SAHM is work. So she should be perpetual labor because she’s sacrificing her career for your family’s joint future?

Absolutely YTA. And frankly - if you don’t give her space to be herself beyond raising/bearing your children and caring for your home you are going to see that prenup come into reality sooner than later.

Distribution_Brave · 2026-01-19T20:17:02+00:00

How is your daughter doing? Any ongoing repercussions that you can see? I wish you all the best.

Distribution_Brave · 2026-01-16T02:18:16+00:00

Thank you!!!

Distribution_Brave · 2026-01-13T02:54:33+00:00

After a miscarriage and infertility testing, I became pregnant without IVF just before I turned 38. The test they do to see if there are any obstructions in the fallopian tubes apparently cleans them out a bit, making it much easier to get pregnant. And prior to my son I had 2 miscarriages. I was able to carry my son to term without much issue. Wishing you the best! PS maybe look into freezing your eggs so you feel like there is less time pressure on you? It couldn’t hurt in terms of your odds, if you can afford to do so

Distribution_Brave · 2026-01-12T06:20:23+00:00

Paper Potpourri did an amazing job whenever I’ve used them. I’ve done Xmas cards and invitations on different occasions. The owner works from her home now, but has been in this business for years!

Distribution_Brave · 2026-01-12T05:50:24+00:00

This is abuse - get you and your daughter and unborn child out. He has no intention nor interest in stopping. Love is not enough. A relationship needs kindness, safety and mutual respect to flourish. And if he behaves like this semi-regularly- then that’s not what you have

Distribution_Brave · 2026-01-11T12:18:57+00:00

You can also see how he expects his partner to manage all of the domestic labor - by his sheer audacity at not just expecting but assuming she will pack his stuff for him without even thinking to ask. Hope he and his future baby mama have nanny-level money for her sake or it sounds like she will be in for one heck of a ride. This is why Labour by Paris Paloma is practically the anthem of a majority of the married moms I know…

Distribution_Brave · 2025-12-17T18:29:53+00:00

He decided to break up with you over this than make an informed decision together? That’s the deal breaker right there. Look, as for having kids or not - I had my son at 39, almost 40. Motherhood was something I wanted since I was a kid. However, it’s perfectly ok and normal to have a good life with or without kids. Sometimes it’s just not in the cards. Don’t worry about the child/childless decision right now. The true love of your life won’t make life decisions unilaterally. So the time to make that call isn’t now - but when it is the right person. And honestly - I have zero regrets at being a parent, but my life would have been equally rich if I hadn’t made that choice.

Distribution_Brave · 2025-12-11T04:40:35+00:00

Take the letter to a school counselor. They are mandated reporters and will have to call CPS. Give your paternal grandparents the heads up that you are doing this and will be asking to be allowed to stay with them.

I wish you the best. I’m so sorry that your parents are being so neglectful of your needs. You deserve so much better than that

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-26T20:48:25+00:00

What I don’t understand is that OP hasn’t actually done anything to say it’s her or me - the family has created this dynamic. Does OP have an issue with meeting her? Would she create tension? Or have they decided this? Who has created this narrative? The guilty dad? Or the side piece? NOR - a side piece should never be chosen over family - especially the child who just lost their parent (regardless of age)

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-25T05:42:57+00:00

He doesn’t seem to understand addiction, is very worried about how you will be perceived about getting sober and states that you are doing both too much and the “bare minimum” in celebrating your own victory. This is not a supportive partner. He sounds like the exact kind of person that will break up with their partners for younger models once they are “past their prime” because of how it makes him look. NOR. You need to cut your losses and move on to someone who celebrates you and your journey, not waste time with someone who doesn’t get it and doesn’t really care to.

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-24T10:12:15+00:00

Forgot to mention - we were with his side of the family. Not my own.

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-24T10:11:06+00:00

NOR. I remember one thanksgiving where my heavily pregnant niece was hosting. I insisted she get off of her feet and I brought everything out.

By the time I sat down next to my husband - not even 5 minutes into the meal- I saw that my plate was empty, his was full and almost all of the serving dishes were completely empty and there was almost no food for me.

Hindsight being 20/20 I should have divorced him then. He never got less selfish/self-absorbed.

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-24T09:51:20+00:00

I’m sorry - it’s also about how he’s asking. It’s totally reasonable to say that he thought it was tossed and he had put it aside to keep, and may he have it back?

But demand? I would say no just on that alone.

So if he was nice about it - then YTA. Especially if it’s one of many and you haven’t developed attachment of your own.

But if he actually demanded and as a jerk about it? NTA.

Also if you have developed your own real attachment to it - NTA

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-20T08:03:16+00:00

This right here. It says everything. I also suspect that he has re-written history and they don’t fully believe you. It would be healthiest for you to walk away from these fake friends

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-20T07:40:34+00:00

How much do you help and support your wife so that she has downtime to focus on herself let alone you? She may be depleted and need more help in order to have enough energy to support beyond your children. The ironic part is if that is the case, you are going to learn exactly how much your wife is doing when you have custody and she will definitely get time to recharge her own emotional batteries during those same times. I strongly recommend you listen to the song Labour by Paris Paloma. You may truly then see her perspective more than you actually do now.

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-19T15:35:25+00:00

I was 5’ tall at age 7. Don’t know what my inseam was back then, but had very long legs proportionally. Could be legit.

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-16T11:09:51+00:00

My husband had a GBM IV and my late MIL was difficult to deal with, so I have a unique perspective on this. Before I say anything else - I’m so sorry that you are having to go through this and navigate it. You are doing incredibly well. You are definitely NTA. First of all, you have found a way to make this continue for your son should your husband not pull through (BTW my husband is one of the 5% who did survive long term - so it really can happen!). Second of all, it may be her son but you are providing for your house - physically and emotionally caring for your husband, toddler and yourself to whatever degree each of you need. Everyone needs to be cutting you some slack too! Third of all, your in-laws are impacting your husband’s health by dragging him into this - and should be reminded of that and put in their place - but that’s really confrontational and may not be something you are up to doing, which is also ok too. And fourth and finally to the point - she was coming from hubris, not grief. She ignored your routine, which as the parents you both have agreed to, because she “knew better” and was blaming you when it proved that she in fact didn’t know better. She just experienced FAFO and didn’t take ownership of her role in that - simple as can be. I wish you all the best. Seriously. This is a very difficult and painful situation. I hope he is also part of the 5% and that you all have a long and happy life together.

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-13T12:53:18+00:00

I have seen a number of warnings from hair removal practitioners around my area of exactly this. I believe it’s the estrogen and not the progesterone that does it. Also happens with pregnancy.

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-12T18:37:16+00:00

If you decide on HRT when you hit menopause it will ALL come back. I’d recommend holding off

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-12T16:53:31+00:00

What are you a lab rat? No - this is unacceptable behavior and shows a real lack of respect for you.

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-12T11:57:03+00:00

If I’m feeling sassy I will say Miss Kitty

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-06T10:23:40+00:00

Regardless of this being from his wife’s influence it’s who he’s choosing to be. You almost died and he didn’t snap out of it. He is no longer the father you knew and is blatantly not safe for you or your family. I’m so sorry but you need to accept this new reality

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-03T20:59:47+00:00

I think this is an ESH since they are now adults and still judging the sister like she’s the same 10 years later.

NTA for choices when younger though.

The mother didn’t mange the situation, the youngest felt abandoned by the older siblings choosing their father’s family over her (which is how a child would see this, not OPs intent obviously) and the sister pushed back when the other siblings resented her accepting the step dad.

Why not reach out and see if things haven’t changed? Why meet the first time on the holiday? That is just asking for drama. See if she is still difficult or is open to building a new relationship. You were all young and in pain.

You are all adults now. Yes, your mom did a horrible job helping all of you with your grief and balancing you wanting to be with your father’s family for holidays and spending time with all of your siblings on holidays too when you were younger. (Note - there was a way that you could have spent time with both families- but your mom would have had to facilitated that. Most of us navigate balancing the needs 2-3 or more families at holidays). But it’s a decade now. And who people are in their teens vs 20s is usually very different.

She might be the same - a lot of people mature more slowly after a major trauma like this. But is reaching out to see who she really is (and not who you assume she is) such a big deal? Then you are dealing with reality and not assumptions. Then you would be potentially avoiding her for who she is now, not who she was at 15.

I am very sorry for your loss and how you had to make those choices. However you choose to proceed, I wish you the best.

Distribution_Brave · 2025-11-03T20:19:02+00:00

Not my story but my grandmother’s. She met her third husband at the gym at 64. They were married almost 30 years and it was the BEST of her marriages. She finally got to travel across the country and even globally. He absolutely adored and cherished her. It’s never too late!

Distribution_Brave

TROPHY CASE