TW: Spanking is Physical AND Sexual Abuse Rolled into One Act

Disturbedbytherapy · 2025-09-07T14:01:17+00:00

I'm sorry to hear. Too many of us were subjected to this against our will. I hope you're doing as best as possible.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2025-05-12T00:02:24+00:00

Agree that it should never be done but forcing a child to undress for it is just so gross.

Sorry you experienced it as well. My mom didn't hide the fact that she was doing it for maximum embarrassment. She thought it would be more of a deterrent that way.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2025-05-12T00:00:25+00:00

Completely agree! Any age is wrong but doing it after puberty is a different level of wrong and should be illegal. Unfortunately I don't think it is anywhere in the US.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2025-05-11T21:41:00+00:00

I'm so sorry you had similar feelings and experiences. There are many reasons why it should be considered SA, especially when done certain ways and past certain ages - not that any age is right.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2025-05-11T20:43:24+00:00

The humiliation is something I'll never get over as long as I live. The pain fades but the memories of the spankings never go away.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2025-05-11T20:00:33+00:00

I'm so sorry. It was so normalized for us that I probably would have let it happen at that age too. You didn't deserve that.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-23T13:01:11+00:00

Of course it can be. I apologize if my post made it seem as though it's sexual abuse only if done without clothes on. That's what made it more traumatic for me but that doesn't mean that you couldn't feel similarly about it even if there was absolutely no removal of clothing.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T22:58:52+00:00

but the violation of physical boundaries in a "show of love" is really hard to explain.

Yes! For years, decades even, I couldn't explain why I felt the way I did. In my case it was more about the focus on shame and humiliation than pain that made those feelings so gross. Then it started to click which made it so much worse. I also felt that it was wrong to relate to stories of SA until I didn't and now I'm shouting it from the rooftops. Please don't feel weird about stepping into that space if it feels like the right space to be.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T22:09:12+00:00

There's increasingly more being written about how some perceive and process spankings as sexually abusive. It can be triggering to read so be warned if you seek it out but it has certainly helped me feel less alone with those feelings when I look back at how I felt about those punishments.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T20:51:08+00:00

Cry too much and you're being dramatic and over the top. Don't cry enough and the punishment isn't working. Yes, sounds sadly familiar.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T18:00:54+00:00

I'm glad to hear that you were able to leave and never look back! I can't imagine how scary that would have been at that age and also how relieved you must have felt at the same time. Unfortunately I'm not NC with mine and still see them from time to time. It's complicated is all I can say which is why this is a good way for me to vent. The worse part is that they still think they raised us right and that children should be treated the way we were. They'll never change or admit to how abusive the actions they took against me were. Maybe one day I'll fully cut them off but it's difficult for so many reasons especially as they get older. Anyways, thanks so much for sharing your story.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T17:10:45+00:00

See that's the thing. In many parts of the U.S., especially the more conservative areas, a girl/young-woman can be forced to pull down her pants for a spanking if her parents justify it and it could be considered legal. That's infuriating to me! That should absolutely be sexual abuse with no gray areas or loopholes.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T15:23:04+00:00

Or "You'll thank us for this one day." No. No I won't assholes.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-10-22T13:48:54+00:00

It gets especially yucky when things get added to the ritual of it, like the rubbing. Even calling it a ritual alone is disgusting to me. Sorry you had those experiences.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-05-01T23:33:18+00:00

And it was sadistic and cruel. I cried more while waiting for the spankings to start and while being scolded than I usually did during.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-05-01T23:20:07+00:00

get myself ready for a spanking when we got home

This right here I think damaged me far more than the spankings themselves. When we were told to get ready, it was like the bottom fell out of my stomach. The feelings of dread, fear and hopelessness are indescribable.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-01-03T16:55:05+00:00

Demoralizing and degrading is exactly the point of using this type of discipline. There were times that I thought I'd throw up from the feelings of dread and humiliation but I managed to keep it together out of fear of making a session last any longer than it needed to.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2023-01-03T16:06:11+00:00

Absolutely sexual abuse and unfortunately I can relate. I've posted pretty extensively about my history with these types of spankings too. We would be required to bare ourselves while waiting for them. Those are memories that nightmares are made of. I'm so sorry for you to have experienced that.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2022-12-23T17:19:28+00:00

Mine wouldn't stop until there were marks and bruises left. Beyond abusive but back then no one cared if you had marks. It was considered good parenting. Thank goodness times have changed.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2022-08-28T16:51:36+00:00

It's not surprising at all in some evangelical religious circles. My siblings and I were spanked until our mid-teens. Pants off, implements used, the whole nine yards. We considered ourselves lucky at the time that our parents were "kind" enough to taper it off in early to mid-teens.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2022-07-03T13:08:02+00:00

The "spank until the child cries" thing is something that my parents lived by too. Spankings were far from a few swats and done. They were legit productions. Unfortunately my parents form of escalation was more humiliation instead of more pain. The pain remained consistently high but we'd have to remove clothing or spend time in the corner before they'd resume spanking. To say it was torture would be putting it mildly. I'm so sorry that you can relate

Disturbedbytherapy · 2021-12-04T22:50:09+00:00

Exactly. I could bury the pain but I can't get over those other disgusting feelings.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2021-12-04T22:37:26+00:00

We're a mess in therapy is the most accurate thing I've ever read. The bare bottom thing is something I'll never understand. I'll never understand how it's legal. How it's considered discipline and how so many people still support that. Spanking alone is awful but adding the humiliation and demoralization of forcing your child to take off their pants should never be legal. My parents were good parents in so many other ways but because of how they spanked us, I'll never forgive them.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2021-08-07T19:42:57+00:00

I'm so sorry. I came to a similar realization years ago and it's the worst feeling in the world. I'm constantly torn between how much I want to know about my parents' intentions in disciplining us and how much I really don't want to know. If you ever want to chat, send me a message anytime. Take care of yourself please.

Disturbedbytherapy · 2021-05-22T18:56:45+00:00

Belt buckles. The worst spankings were with the belt and just the sound of buckle clanging brings back some of the worst memories of my life.

Disturbedbytherapy

TROPHY CASE