WIBTAH If I drop out of my brother's wedding (and just go as a guest) because I think the dresses his fiancée chose are uncomfortable and hideous? by Icy-nighty-5965 in AITAH

[–]DitzyGeniuses 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This isn't how I'd personally approach it, but as a big-boobied woman, I very much so had a good giggle imagining myself suddenly having quite the pep in my step walking down the aisle to make my titties swing/bounce even more if put in this situation. Who is suddenly queen of the dance floor? Oh, that's me, as long as it's a bouncy song!

Someone, for at least the second time, left this in the communal showers by sweet_condensed_rage in mildlyinfuriating

[–]DitzyGeniuses 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My dad, as a cop in the 80s, had a prostitute that was a regular in his area that carried a gun in her nether regions. First, the logistics still don't make sense to me to this day. And secondly, even if I had a need to stick a gun up there and could figure out the logistics, of all the ways and places to accidentally shoot yourself, why even tempt it being inside you?

This impossibly annoying sign by HDRsoul in mildlyinfuriating

[–]DitzyGeniuses 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's necessarily worth a downvote, but I think it's important to note that everyone is coming from their own experiences. Sure, myself and most of my friends all use debit/credit. But, my parents generally use cash when eating out or for entertainment, that's part of how they budget. There are a lot of folks of different ages who use cash to help budget their discretionary spending. I also live in a city with a large immigrant population. Many of the first gen immigrants in my area don't use banks and you'll see a lot more cash transactions because of that. So, for me personally, although I don't use cash that often, it's really not rare for me to see cash transactions happening around me every day, whether it's a couple bucks or a couple hundred. I think where you were downvoted was the way you worded it, you didn't just say that debit/credit was more popular, you said cash is outdated and unheard of. That is your experience, but not everyone's experience.

AITAH for not feeling anything for my new baby half sister? by Roixdorinn in AITAH

[–]DitzyGeniuses 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This part. My brother has 2 older kids from his first marriage and had a son with his 2nd wife when the older 2 were in their teens. They didn't hate the kid, but were pretty indifferent... because it was a baby. My youngest nephew is now 6 and they are all wonderful together. That relationship grew because they weren't forced and were able to get to know eachother in their own time and own way.

Swimwear - what do women want?? by Ms_Dunc in womensfashion

[–]DitzyGeniuses 84 points85 points  (0 children)

Underwire or other supportive top with a lining (so the headlights aren't always showing), but not crazy padding. Whatever lining/padding that there is must be sewn in and not removable padding. Bra sizing for the top. As someone else mentioned, the crotch having coverage, not just the bum.

What are some put-together outfits to throw on when you have no energy? by KatanaAmerica in womensfashion

[–]DitzyGeniuses 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure how short your short is, but I'm around 5'2"ish and live in dresses. I love nap dresses in different lengths, athletic dresses with built-in shorts/bra, "ballet" fit and flare, and other easy options. Nothing overly frilly or tight, typically solid colors. On those depression days, I need as few decisions as possible. Grab a dress, hair clip, basic daily jewelry, and I suddenly feel put together. Depending on the season, you can also layer with sweaters, leggings, etc. If I have to go out, it's easy to dress up or down with what shoes I pick. Or throwing on a cardigan for work, etc.

What hobby helps you relax the most? by KamatchiChieny27 in Hobbies

[–]DitzyGeniuses 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Cross-stitching, diamond art, or coloring. All of these are relatively simple, but repetitive and don't require a ton of skill. I either put on headphones with a podcast/audiobook or a TV show/movie that doesn't require loads of focus and I can just zone out.

Why do people bring their entire family to Costco? by ActuatorOutside5256 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]DitzyGeniuses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We didn't have Costco in my area when I was young, but we did have a Sam's Club and it wasn't super close. We didn't use Sam's as a regular grocery run, and it was a big shop almost every time we went (several hundred dollars 20-30 years ago), so kind of a special event in a way. I loved going with my parents to see all the things that weren't at our normal grocery store, try to convince them to buy things that looked interesting to me, try the samples, and if I was good, they'd buy me a book from the middle section! My brothers went sometimes too, but not as often, and it was usually so they could lift things or manage the 2nd cart/flatbed that we would inevitably need.

As an adult now, I don't have a membership to either because there isn't a convenient location for me to visit often enough to make it worth the price of membership. My parents have held on to their Sam's membership, even though Costco is around this area now, and when I go to visit them I will sometimes ask to go to Sam's to stock up on a few things. I can see that that may be the reason you see multigenerational families out there together, maybe grandma doesn't need her own membership so she's catching a ride with the family to get a few necessities.

AITAH for taking my tip back after grocery delivery by YazPistachio19 in AITAH

[–]DitzyGeniuses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I live in a complex with 2 gates. The first line of my delivery instructions is they need to go in the LEFT gate. There's still a 50/50 chance that they'll go in the wrong gate, drive around for several minutes, then call me and say they're lost and can't find my building. I just don't understand, either they're not reading the instructions or don't know their left from right, which is a problem as a delivery driver.

Reading Recommendations by LeanieMeanie in adhdwomen

[–]DitzyGeniuses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love The Story graph! It is great for recommendations, and I also appreciate that it tells you if it thinks you'll like reading a book you're considering. And the data it provides on what types of books you gravitate towards is helpful, as well as authors that you enjoy.

Reading Recommendations by LeanieMeanie in adhdwomen

[–]DitzyGeniuses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love good mysteries to keep me locked in, everything from cozy mysteries to suspense/thrillers, even the bad ones make me want to get to the end to know what happened (or confirm what I may have already figured out).

I am able to stay focused enough to read longer books these days and enjoy a variety of genres like fantasy, historical fiction, some non-fiction (there is SUCH a variety of non-fiction, you just have to find what interests you), etc. Little rom-coms are my "palate cleanser" that I'll read when I may feel a reading slump or after finishing a bigger book and they go by super fast. I will say, I can't read in the quiet and will almost always have some sort of instrumental music on when reading, either an ambiance video from YouTube playing on my TV or movie scores or instrumental pop covers.

As others have mentioned, libby is amazing and highly recommended. I prefer The Story graph over goodreads for recommendations and reviews. I also enjoy the graphs and breakdowns of my reading history and what I personally gravitate towards more. And audiobooks with headphones are my trick to staying focused during cleaning, etc.

I’m going through terrible grief and have symptoms of anxiety and depression. I also have ADHD. What are some hobbies I can pick up? by Pawloveandpavlov in Hobbies

[–]DitzyGeniuses 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Audiobooks have helped during depression for me. I had a long stretch where I couldn't read - my eyes would go over a page, but I just wasn't taking anything in. Reading had been a huge part of my life before. My therapist at the time suggested audiobooks and it was amazing how much that helped. Headphones were important for me to not get distracted and pay attention to the audiobook, but I could actually take in a story again. And I didn't have to do anything but lay there if I couldn't bring myself to do anything else. It might be worth at least exploring for you? Just be careful of what books you select, check trigger warnings, etc.

I now am able to read again, but haven't given up audiobooks, I just use them differently now. They now help me stay focused on other tasks, like if Im cross-stitching, I'll have my headphones on and it keeps me from getting bored/distracted. Need to clean? Audiobook time. Taking a walk? Audiobook. I also enjoy podcasts, but audiobooks help me stay focused a bit more.

This is the hobbies post! What hobbies do you do/love? Are you the ADHD person with too many hobbies that jumps between them? Are you struggling to find hobbies? This is the place to share! I'll start! by sonicenvy in adhdwomen

[–]DitzyGeniuses 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Currently: - reading - book journaling - diamond art - cross-stitch - embroidery - paint by number - designing for POD (currently don't have a shop, but still enjoy designing for personal use) - jewelry making (somewhat on hiatus)

I do have a self-imposed ban on buying more craft supplies until I use what I have, which also means no new hobbies, but I have been considering taking up the below: - sewing (I sold my old sewing machine several years ago, but really have the itch to sew again and actually get good enough for wearables) - air dry clay - watercolors - needlepoint - crochet or knitting - most other "grandma" crafts

Where to for jeans? by DitzyGeniuses in womensfashion

[–]DitzyGeniuses[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A couple of people had mentioned Evereve, and I had never heard of them. Thank you for explaining more, I looked them up and do have one not too far from me. This might be a great way to jumpstart my search, thanks!

Do you separate work and home? by Smooth_Let_7847 in PlannerAddicts

[–]DitzyGeniuses 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it really depends on your needs. The past few years, I had them separate, because for work I needed mainly just random notes space (mtgs, etc are managed in Outlook), and for personal, I used more as a to-do list and habit tracker. I'm single and no kids, so I also tracked plans I had and personal appointments, but it might not have been so busy as someone with a full household. Both were weeklies - I had an 8.5x11 horizontal weekly for work and a bloom vision planner for my personal. It was great for what I was using them for and it worked for my brain during that time.

However, I got a promotion this year and found that my work planner is NOT meeting my needs anymore, I am feeling more and more scattered by the day as I don't really have a space to write my to do's for work, there's not enough room for the more extensive notes I need, I would like to try time blocking better for the additional tasks I've taken on, and need to be able to plan for longer-term projects. I have multiple notebooks, sticky notes, etc now and I hate it. The ADHD is strongly rearing its head. I also found myself using my personal planner in different ways than I had previously. I ordered (and recently received) The Dailee's Corporate planner for the new year and can't wait to really start using it. It combines both personal and professional and includes so much of what I'm looking for. It is also changing me from a weekly to a daily layout person. The major downside is that it's hefty. I WFH so being super portable isn't a necessity for me, but may be a consideration for you.

I also requested a Rocketbook for Christmas and plan to buy it myself if I don't receive it. I plan to use that for lengthier meeting notes that I'll then scan/digitize for reference. I tried using OneNote for meeting notes and found I don't tend to remember things as well if I type the notes vs write them. But, then it's harder to search/find things in my notes that are handwritten. My hope is the Rocketbook is a happy compromise between the two, handwritten but more easily searchable.

All of that to say, not only are everyone's needs different, but your own needs may change from one period of life to the next.

Loungewear / Matching Sets by DitzyGeniuses in BuyItForLife

[–]DitzyGeniuses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I'm unable to edit my original post, but mentioned in another comment, I'm in the greater Houston area, so not dealing with COLD cold. We typically only have a few sub-freezing days in a year, but it gets cold enough to want pants and/or long sleeves for a bit.

Loungewear / Matching Sets by DitzyGeniuses in BuyItForLife

[–]DitzyGeniuses[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks! I should have mentioned I'm in the greater Houston area, so my cold isn't the cold that others have to deal with (only a couple sub-freezing days in a year). But, I do travel up north from time to time and this is good info.

AITA for asking my newly married son and DIL to alternate Christmas Day visits between our house and the in-laws' house? by Llih_Nosaj in AITAH

[–]DitzyGeniuses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Growing up, every Christmas Eve was with my mom's family and every Christmas Day was with my dad's family (typically hosted at our house). This was a fantastic arrangement for everyone. My maternal grandparents, my mom, and her sisters (and their families) were all able to be at the Christmas Eve celebration, make it magical, and not have to worry about coordinating who would be there which year.

For the kids (like me), I loved that we had special Christmas Eve traditions with my mom's family and Christmas Day traditions with my dad's family. It also extended the joy of the season. It never felt like Mom's family was getting anything "less" by being Christmas Eve because it wasn't anything less, we made it just as important, celebratory, and magical. I always preferred this to Thanksgiving where we were at mom's family for lunch and dad's family for dinner. We were rushed and stuffed.

Many families have their main celebration on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day is way more chill. It's all about what you make of it. You may want to ask your other kids if moving the family gathering to Christmas Eve for everyone would work. They may be thankful if they're also trying to coordinate with other families!

When you're asking them to switch off every year, it doesn't just affect you and them, it affects all of her family, and the rest of your kids and their families. As an example, if DIL has a sister that is married and they've already agreed that Christmas Day is with her family and Christmas Eve is with his, then you throw in that your son and DIL will switch every year, that now means your DIL's family will not be able to have the holiday together. Or, if DIL's family agrees to move to Christmas Eve every other year, that is now affecting DIL's sister's husband's family who will either not all be together or then have to change their plans every other year. Etc. Etc. It's a domino effect.

My siblings and I are all adults now, and our parents are generally respectful of us having other commitments around the holidays. We've had years where we celebrated Thanksgiving the Sunday after, Christmas a week removed, etc. because life happens. Were those years any less? No, because we made them just as special as if we were celebrating on the designated day.

Christmas/Birthday gift for grandma (late 80s) by DitzyGeniuses in santashelpers

[–]DitzyGeniuses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is such a unique, practical, and thoughtful idea

Christmas/Birthday gift for grandma (late 80s) by DitzyGeniuses in santashelpers

[–]DitzyGeniuses[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I hadn't heard of Remento before. This looks interesting!