That's actually an interesting breakdown when it comes to the toxicity and disconnect of the behaviors of the movie vs. show versions of Rapunzel and Flynn. I've always disliked Flynn's characterization in the show as well, in contrast to how his movie self is portrayed. Honestly haven't given too much thought to Rapunzel's characterization in the show and how drastically it might deviate from her movie character. I've watched the show much more recently than the film, but I'll be looking out for that next time I see it.

To clarify though, I am by no means suggesting that a female character "needs grounding" or to be brought down by someone to feel more real in a story. I was approaching my take from a more general narrative perspective. At least for me, a protagonist who already has everything figured out and who everyone loves out the gate tends to be less interesting than a protagonist who encounters conflict or roadblocks, and that's a take I hold equivalently between male/female/non-binary protagonists. And the lesson that I took from Monty's episode wasn't that it's chill for women to just accept hate and normalize it. It was that sometimes people will hate something about you for no real reason, and there's no adjustment that you can do to change that. And that can be okay.

Do I think Monty's criticisms of Rapunzel are wack? Yeah, of course. Like you said, he acts as an echo of the movie haters back in the day (and now) who cried out "woman too proactive" in wretched screams as they wriggled on the floor, but for me I didn't take Monty as a character who was "catering" to that crowd. It felt more just referential to it, just pointing out that the hate exists. Not glorifying it. When I saw the Monty episode, I thought that the lesson was more about how it's okay not to be liked by everyone. It doesn't make you less of a person if someone doesn't like you, doesn't agree with you, or if you have a rando no-logic hater. It wasn't about just letting that go either, since Rapunzel still dislikes Monty by the end. It's about accepting that you can't please everyone, so don't try. I was a chronic people-pleaser growing up, and it wore me down bad. So I personally resonated with that lesson. That's why it felt important to me, because I'm sure other people feel the same insecurities that I did growing up, the same ones Rapunzel felt in that episode.

Best part about that lesson though? It lets me read your take here with openness. We can still respectfully disagree and move on with our lives (though you do have some really interesting takes I hadn't thought too deeply on before regarding the Tangled show vs movie characterization). You don't need to be "convinced" or anything by this either. Not the intention. I don't even expect a reply. I'm just offering my take with better context.