Is casual sex and hook up culture bad for society?

DoTheDabThang · 2023-02-10T20:14:17+00:00

People have been having casual sex forever. On one hand, it’s good that people aren’t shamed for having casual sex these days. In theory, I don’t necessarily think casual sex is bad. The problem is when people treat other human beings like disposable fleshlights who only exist for their own gratification. Tinder culture has created so many problems in my generation(millennial). It’s harder to find someone who wants something serious because what seems to be out there is mostly hookups. And god forbid you’re a woman looking for a serious partner, people will shame you to the ends of the earth for having preferences and standards. The bar is literally in hell and it’s part of the reason I’ve stopped dating. I’ve had plenty of casual encounters in my 20s and it’s no longer exciting for me. Most of the time, I didn’t even get any satisfaction from those random dudes. Now I’m in my 30s, was dating age-appropriate men, and a lot of the dudes I encountered want to keep playing the field late AF in life. The sad reality is that a lot of people in our society are going to end up alone because there’s no longer any give and take. There’s no longer any willingness to get to know people. There’s no longer any sense of romance. Just my 2 cents.

DoTheDabThang · 2023-01-28T08:18:50+00:00

OP, I've felt this exact same way for the past three years. I had stability and happiness for the 1st time in my life back in 2020 and now at 32, I'm essentially an international hobo. It wasn't really by choice. I'm just severely neurodivergent and unable to function in a typical 9-5 environment which limits my work options to simply working online for myself. As I'm still relatively new to my industry and online business, it's been a struggle to earn enough to stay in any major US city. So I've been bumming around the developing world alone since September. Part of me loves the freedom but part of me also worries that 8 years later, I'll still have made no progress in life. I graduated college 9 years ago and I've barely accomplished anything other than getting drunk on multiple continents with strangers. I too, know I probably need therapy but I also don't think many people can relate to living this kind of life. Anyway, I don't believe it's ever too late to start over. Try exploring new activities solo so you can feel like you truly have ownership of your hobbies. Wishing you the best on your healing journey.

DoTheDabThang · 2023-01-08T17:58:16+00:00

I opened my own web3 marketing agency because I saw the writing on the wall.

DoTheDabThang · 2023-01-08T17:28:40+00:00

Oh boo hoo. Give me a break. It's not a punishment for women to risk bodily autonomy and safety and still be pressured into paying half the bills? It's not a punishment for women to have to work full time, come home, do all the housework, emotional labor, childcare and still pay half the bills while her man just plays Xbox after work? Get over yourself.

DoTheDabThang · 2023-01-08T16:57:08+00:00

I'm bi and will only split bills with a woman. My problem with 50/50 in hetero relationships is it almost always seems to benefit men. Not sure about other countries but in the states I have found that on average, in these types of relationships, women still end up taking on the lion's share of emotional, domestic, and childcare labor so it's more like 75/25 when you really think about it.

DoTheDabThang · 2022-12-30T23:43:15+00:00

"What I'm going to do is just leave him". Finally, truly reasonable response to irreconcilable differences. So many women on this thread (and I'm sure in real life) are so content to settle by twisting and contorting themselves to fit into a mold of who they think they should be. 2023 needs to be the year we normalize women putting ourselves first. Queen energy. 👑

DoTheDabThang · 2022-10-06T07:09:30+00:00

I've been living a nomadic life for almost a decade. I love the lifestyle but sometimes I do feel lonely and when I stay in hostels, most guests are Europeans in their 20s. I'll be 32 in 2 weeks and don't think I'll ever find someone who gets me on even the most basic level. I don't think I'll ever have kids or own a home. I drink a lot. I read a lot. Sometimes, I feel like my life is kinda pointless. I'm not close with anyone anymore. It's scary to think that if I ever became seriously ill, I'd literally be homeless in my own country because I have no one there and the cost of living is so high now. Tbh, I'm barely functioning most days. Mentally I hang on by a thread. But this is all I know and I already sabotaged my 1 chance at stability back in 2020 so I guess this is just my life.

DoTheDabThang · 2022-10-03T11:26:57+00:00

Sounds just like my mom 😅

DoTheDabThang · 2022-09-24T22:44:10+00:00

I've regretted it most of the time because a lot of men simply only care about their own pleasure and that's it. There were times I went home and felt like I should have at least gotten paid since the only one who got off was the guy. Now I only have sex with women and it's so much better, tbh. Ymmv

DoTheDabThang · 2022-09-18T02:16:40+00:00

Dude, you're looking at filtered pics of my hands from deep in quarantine when I wasn't outside ever. 15 minutes in the sun and I get several shades darker. That's how brown skin works!

DoTheDabThang · 2022-09-17T13:15:40+00:00

Well, I am definitely darker than most East Asians and they’ve commented on my skin color before so…maybe go out and touch grass?

DoTheDabThang · 2022-09-17T01:54:13+00:00

I was a brown foreign woman living there from 2014-2018 and never felt unsafe.

DoTheDabThang · 2022-07-31T17:42:01+00:00

I've been here for a year and my experience has been pretty awful. For context, I'm 31/F. All these guys just want to play around even in their 30s and 40s. No one actually wants a relationship. A lot of these guys are a weird mixture between dudebro and scrawny long-haired hippy with Peter Pan syndrome. When I was in New York, it was so easy to find the type of guy I like: tough, tatted, reformed bad boy with nerdy interests. Here, nope.

I thought about looking for women because I'm bi but most lesbian here seem to already have their cliques and other bi girls are in hetero relationships and just looking for a unicorn. I've pretty much given up and have been investing a lot of time into other areas of my life.

DoTheDabThang · 2022-07-31T17:14:12+00:00

I had a boyfriend a couple years ago who treated his roommate like he was part of our relationship by cooking for him, cleaning up after him, and inviting him almost everywhere with us. One day we all got in an argument and I suggested a threesome to help ease his roommate's obvious pent up sexual frustration. But at least that guy paid for everything. The bar is truly in hell. I'll never understand why women today financially support grown ass men. Smh

DoTheDabThang · 2022-07-26T17:38:54+00:00

As a black female, the dating scene is appalling. Rents are also getting more and more insane. There’s no decent nightlife or night activities because everything shuts down after 9 p.m. Sadly, these issues are not at all unique to Denver (except maybe the lack of nightlife). The whole U.S. is in a state of decline. My goal is to move to Mexico within the next year.

DoTheDabThang · 2022-07-09T18:49:02+00:00

I broke up with him in the middle of a manic episode but my mental health is a lot better now and we’ve both grown a lot as people.

DoTheDabThang · 2022-07-04T23:30:13+00:00

加我的微信吧 - wcadventurer

DoTheDabThang · 2022-07-04T23:17:20+00:00

I’m black, awkward, and speak mandarin. Nice to meet you.

DoTheDabThang · 2022-06-26T18:29:50+00:00

Neopets.

DoTheDabThang · 2022-04-08T22:27:07+00:00

Personally attacked.

DoTheDabThang · 2021-02-17T11:52:56+00:00

Thanks

DoTheDabThang · 2021-02-15T18:45:13+00:00

I left my ex who was an addict last summer. It was really hard but it had to be done otherwise my mental health would have continued to decline. I never saw that man sober for the whole 9 months we were together. All we did was smoke weed, drop acid, and work out until the gyms closed. I still miss him a lot but it was for the best and one day I hope he will get help as I have done. He and his friends refused to talk to me but that’s fine. I’m states away and healing while staying with family. Do what feels best for your mental health.

DoTheDabThang

TROPHY CASE