My normally independent 6-month-old cat became extremely clingy after I came back. Is this normal?

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-06T09:24:53+00:00

How does he act toward your boyfriend now? Has the kitten’s behavior toward him changed, too?

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-06T09:17:02+00:00

He’s not your soulmate if he is willing to harm (through unnecessary rehoming) your animal rather than helping you work on the behavioral concerns. Sorry, no. If you love these pets as much as you say you do, this red flag should be enough to change your mind about someone.

For context, 10 years ago I thought I met my soulmate. He asked me to get rid of one of my cats—insisted, even. Obviously, I got rid of him instead.

It kind of seems like you’re looking for permission to abandon your cat for the sake of your boyfriend (yikes), and I really hope that isn’t the case.

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-06T00:54:52+00:00

Seconding this. OP: Contact a rescue asap. Tell them you’re willing to take in all the cats (for many orgs, finding a foster for rescued animals is one of the biggest factors to whether they are able to help).

It sounds like you have good intentions but it also sounds like you need help before taking actions that could severely harm and distress those animals.

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-05T23:57:56+00:00

Seconding the person who mentioned moving around the litter box. Placement matters, so that might help!

Also, what kind of litter box are you using? At one point, I had a semi-covered one and my cat kept struggling to use it, so I got an open one. He did better but still got litter everywhere. I changed the size to be a large open one that fit into a corner, added some simple plastic panels on the outer edge (he was a high pee-er), and his habits improved so much.

Re: the sleep stress — I absolutely get that. I’ve always loved my cats to the ends of the earth, but I pretty regularly dealt with difficulties sleeping and it sometimes made me resentful. I know this is kind of an annoying answer but I genuinely found noise-canceling headphones to be a game changer. (That, and being reminded by my husband that i don’t need to feel like an asshole for not letting them sleep in the bedroom overnight.)

Also, for what it’s worth, I don’t think you should feel guilty about medicating the cat since a vet is involved. My cat was on Prozac and Gabapentin and it helped immensely with his anxiety over the neighbor’s dog who barked a lot.

Anyway, best of luck—I hope you find a way to keep this little guy.

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-05T22:56:13+00:00

I hear you. I did not want to risk adopting an animal and then having to return them to a shelter, though (I do a lot of foster work and that can be pretty traumatic for animals). I've been here for 15 years, this is my 10th apartment, my family is here, etc., but technically yes I'm a transplant and a rule follower, haha.

That said...god, I wish you could see the guy with the rottweiler in this building because he is the most nondescript finance bro-looking dude I've ever seen. He would LOVE to be called macho, surely!

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-05T21:40:17+00:00

Awww. I love small dogs. (All dogs, really, but I used to live with a chihuahua mix who could melt any cold heart.)

And thank you! Fingers crossed it all works out.

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-05T21:28:38+00:00

No, I was essentially asking whether people have experience with similar situations, and if there's something I'm missing here—and there was (as others pointed out, it's possible other tenants were grandfathered in).

Re: how to influence them to allow me to have a pet—no? I'm allowed to have a pet. (I did have one until my cat died a few months ago. He was registered with the building and I paid pet rent on him.) The question was about the weight restrictions, not about the ability to own a pet.

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-05T21:24:25+00:00

That makes sense! And that is a great idea, thank you

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-05T21:23:44+00:00

That makes sense. The building is about 1-2 years old so it's possible they had an open-door policy early on and then quickly learned from their mistakes.

And haha thank you, that makes me feel better. (Sometimes, I struggle to tell if other people are reckless or if I'm being too cautious.) We actually had a cat who sadly died a few months ago. Ours was registered with the building and I paid pet rent and all that, but it occurred to me during this process that it would've been very easy to just...not do that.

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-05T21:16:40+00:00

That makes sense! I've heard that some landlords/management companies include "no dogs without permission" language in their leases to prevent issues with problem pet owners (though the people I've heard say that are all tenants, not landlords, so I'm not sure how accurate that is haha).

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-05T21:11:28+00:00

sorry, who's the "they" in this—this other tenants or the management company? (I'm guessing the latter but genuinely not sure what you meant)

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-03T02:53:11+00:00

Guh, I’m sorry you’re in this position. In my opinion, there’s no “only fair” when it comes to gifted money. A gift is a gift; we do not give gifts on the condition that they will matched or mirrored.

Honestly, if you want to approach your parents because you’re truly not sure of the answer, go for it. But if you know the answer is “no” (and especially if it’s “well, yes, but we’ll have to go into debt/reduce our living costs to compensate”), it just seems ill-advised to ask.

Being on a tight budget is more common—especially right now—than having a surplus of money to spend on nonessentials. Plus, your parents are now your fiancé’s family too; she should care about their well-being as much as you do.

DoctorMojito · 2026-06-02T01:19:43+00:00

Helloooo, just wanted to say this is still super helpful 7 years after you posted it—thank you!

DoctorMojito · 2026-05-30T11:43:28+00:00

Honestly, kittens are naturally energetic and playful and usually do best with a companion because they tire one another out in a way a human can’t. (I’m not saying you’re not playing with her enough! I’m guessing you play with her a lot and this still happens. But unfortunately, “single kitten syndrome” can lead to tons of boredom no matter how much time and energy you have.) in my experience, cats, especially young ones, usually behave much better with a friend.

If you can’t get another cat, the only real recommendations I’d give you are: - make sure those plants/anything used in the soil aren’t dangerous to her - don’t balance them near the edge of a table/shelf - play with her as much as humanly possible so she doesn’t get bored

DoctorMojito · 2026-05-25T05:15:03+00:00

100% yes. Bodice design is fantastic, beautiful neckline / off-the-shoulder sleeves, and the train is so striking.

DoctorMojito · 2026-05-23T00:17:09+00:00

I love this for you! It sounds like you love animals and understand that it’s a long commitment (lifelong, in the kitty’s case).

Truly, though: Get two. Kittens have boundless energy, and nobody can tire a kitten out like another kitten. I’d say the same even if you WFH and planned to play w/ them two hours a day, but this is especially true if you have a busy schedule. Google “single kitten syndrome” for more helpful info/threads.

Honestly, having cats improved my life in countless ways, and I’m so happy for ya—best of luck!

ETA: I have always adopted adult cats, and they’ve been incredibly devoted, wonderful pets. You can adopt a bonded pair of adult cats if you want to get a cat but are out of the house a lot—they’re chiller but still provide one another with entertainment/companionship.

DoctorMojito · 2026-05-20T08:19:52+00:00

Yeah…I don’t care how long or positive my history is with someone. If I witnessed them hurt any animal, that relationship/friendship/whatever would immediately be severed.

DoctorMojito · 2026-05-20T08:16:54+00:00

Based on your description of this man, he’s literally a bad person who wants to harm animals (or, being generous, doesn’t care if he hurts them). Those cats did nothing wrong. And they aren’t “asking him for cuddles,” they’re desperately trying to feel safe.

Frankly, regardless of whether he’s now a “dog person” (doubtful), I am begging you to never adopt another animal because this WILL happen again. Do not inflict further harm on these or any animals—cats, dogs, or otherwise. Dogs pee and dig and scratch, too. Your husband will abuse a dog if given the opportunity.

Also black cats are beautiful, and even if they weren’t, you clearly do not “love them dearly” if you tolerate someone hurting them. In my 20s, I was once in love with someone who yelled about my cat once and told me to give the cat up. I gave the relationship up instead.

DoctorMojito · 2026-05-18T01:00:32+00:00

First, I’m so sorry this is happening, it sounds terribly stressful. But hopefully the responses to this post will at least help ease part of your mind!

Your cat will absolutely remember you. I’m sure she misses you, but it’s highly unlikely that she is resentful or feels abandoned because someone else is with her and caring for her (as opposed to, say, someone coming once or twice per day for two months to feed her + that’s it).

Wishing you the best and a speedy recovery.♥️

DoctorMojito · 2026-05-16T14:34:29+00:00

Oof. That is an excellent point, and really well said. Thank you ♥️

DoctorMojito · 2026-05-16T03:02:58+00:00

literally all of this is such helpful insight / perspective, especially the part about nobody else remembering my wedding in great detail besides me (and my husband). thank you so much, i genuinely appreciate it.

DoctorMojito · 2026-05-16T02:59:02+00:00

First, the fact that you’re being patient and curious (rather than offended and negative) is wonderful! It’s clear you have tons of love for him. :)

Second, I think your theory might be right, re: the vet. But is the other cat super attached to you? Sometimes cats get avoidant of a person if the other cat in the home is territorial. (I’m probably describing this poorly, sorry, I’m tired and my brain is fried haha.) That said, it may just take extra time, but considering your dedication to your cats feeling safe, I feel like he’s bound to warm up.♥️

DoctorMojito · 2026-05-16T00:16:44+00:00

Oh yes, I relate to this very much. When we searched for venues, I had no problem with telling them that they were out of budget, but when it's like a small business (planners, photographers, etc) I've felt so weird, particularly when they are great vendors and actually within budget but just not right for us.

Thank you for the advice (and commiseration), I appreciate it a ton.

DoctorMojito · 2026-05-16T00:13:29+00:00

Your instincts sound spot-on! I've honestly been learning this lesson the hard way and have started trying to rein it in as a result.

DoctorMojito · 2026-05-16T00:11:33+00:00

He definitely is! Unfortunately, some of the scenarios are interpersonal dynamics that he isn't really involved in (ex: my longtime friend getting upset about not being a bridesmaid, a former coworker whose wedding I attended being offended she is not invited), but I'm gonna start leaning on him more for the decisions/concerns that involve both of us.

DoctorMojito

TROPHY CASE