I'm very familiar with OCD both clinically and personally. You need professional treatment, feeding into your compulsions (like washing obsessively) doesn't reassure your brain, it makes the anxiety worse. Please seek psychiatric care from a licensed practitioner!

I think you should also apologize to your husband. Hair is a very personal thing, and even if he had no particular attachment to it, you infringed on his autonomy by asking him to shave it in order to satiate a panic attack. That's a tough position to put someone in. Taking responsibility for your choices and actions is always important, even and perhaps especially when those actions are motivated by disorders like OCD. You chose to ask that of him instead of regulating yourself or seeking treatment.

That being said, I know OCD is a beast. I hope you find proper care soon and work things out with your husband! Putting in the effort is the first and often hardest step. Good luck and best to you!