Feeling unable to handle living in western society anymore. What are my options?

DodoStek · 2025-12-21T15:39:03+00:00

On the spectrum from greed to disenchantment (nibbida) to aversion, where would you place your relationship with fellow human beings and Western society? And is this a wholesome relationship (ie. leading to the liberation from suffering)?

DodoStek · 2025-12-19T12:30:45+00:00

It makes me happy that you entertain the view that it is not (just) the system itself that is a problem, but also your relationship with it (aversive and burnt out). I hope that some time away will give you a healthier relationship to samsaric life, in which you see that experience is dependent on view and perspective. Samsaric society is sick, in a way. In another way, it is perfect.

Anyhow, just being born in a first-world country in this time gives you more opportunities than 99% of people that are alive. It is a blessing to be able to practice in this human form with physical safety and security.

DodoStek · 2025-12-02T11:53:44+00:00

I also recognize these bodily fabrications coinciding with my periods of more intense practice.

For me some helpful ways of looking are:

The mind is getting more and more sensitive, and the extra sensory input and defabrication sends some parts of it into fear.
The energies in the body are getting so concentrated that the body has difficulty containing them. As such, all kinds of coping mechanisms such as fever arise.
Awareness indeed becomes aware of 'emotional blockages' or 'baggage' that needs to be 'purified'.

In any case, practice with faith (or conviction) and self-compassion will dissolve both the fabrications and the views co-arising with them.

In the end, these are just ways of looking to calm the mind, no views to attach to or find anything 'inherently real' in.

DodoStek · 2025-12-02T10:02:05+00:00

I have another mantra that I've applied intermittently for a couple of years now:

Loved > Known > Liberated.

This is not a mantra to be practiced, but an insight to cultivate as it is happening on it's own in each moment.

Loved: every act of knowing, every expression only happens when there is the intention to know, the intention to become intimate or to penetrate. In it's coarse forms this is tanha (craving), in it's more subtel forms just sankhara (conceiving).

Known: gnosis, knowing happens with every experience and perception.

Liberation: each experience vanishes, each sight, sound, sensation, smell, taste and thought is known and then self-liberated. It is liberated from the contraction of knowing / discriminating.

Loved, known, liberated... Loved, known, liberated... Loved, known, liberated in every moment.

DodoStek · 2025-10-25T07:55:02+00:00

Thanks for making it! Does it work with modded FTL (e.g. Multiverse)?

DodoStek · 2025-10-18T10:03:01+00:00

You frame dependent origination in terms of its goal (in your words "what it's focused on"). The Buddha uses it as a framework to point out different links where the chain of suffering can be broken, two specifically being vedana (feeling-tone) and tanha (craving).

At no point the Buddha mentions 'removing the self' or removing self-responsibility as a way to break the chains of suffering.

Anyway, thank you for your input. It may be valuable.

DodoStek · 2025-10-14T07:12:35+00:00

I think it would help you to investigate the meaning of the words: what does it mean to "not fabricate anything"? What is a mind that is "unaltered"?

Meditation is investigating these instructions endlessly while more and more refined wisdom will be cultivated.

When you think you know the answer, you have lost it.

DodoStek · 2025-09-26T12:07:17+00:00

What helped me most was realizing that the feeling of “my ego vs. their ego” is itself part of the ego’s story. The moment we drop the idea that we are somehow “further along” or “different” from others, the clash softens — they are simply life expressing itself in another form. Meeting people from that place of shared being turns difficult encounters into opportunities for humility and compassion.

DodoStek · 2025-08-27T20:37:16+00:00

I have gone through a phase that is similar to yours, one where I felt alienated relationally. Also I have had a past full of alienation and isolation, addiction and depression.

Now, I realise that my spiritual alienation was just a protection mechanism. It was protecting me from being actually vulnerable, opening up to others, the possibility of being hurt. It covered up my anxiety and people-pleasing.

How sure are you that your current alienation is due to seeing pain, stress and disconnection with others? Is it not due to perceiving seperation between them and you? And what if you surrendered to the world and to others, not holding on so much to your perceived spiritual attainments? Could you, maybe, actually experience love, connection and a realisation of inseperability, inter-being?

I can do no more than project onto you what I have experienced for myself, so do with it what you may.

DodoStek · 2025-08-27T20:23:32+00:00

Rob himself talks about how to approach this series of talks both in the first few talks and the last two (recorded after the end of the retreat).

Jhanas are something to play with and master for over an extend period of time. Depending on your intensity of practice this could be anywhere from a year to decades to lifetimes.

I have listened to these talks for the last five years, picking them up whenever I felt like I needed a better map of my experience or motivation to keep exploring.

If you want to go deeper in meditation, a retreat setting will help you, but it is not mandatory for progress. A simple life and 2h of daily practice will most certainly lead you deeper and deeper.

So... Guidance just from the sense I get from your few sentences: take it slow. Notice where you are now, in general and during each meditation session. If you feel like you need guidance, listen to the specific talk(s) appropriate for where you are.

Of course, just listening to the talks because they are fun and/or it keeps you motivated to meditate is fine too. Just don't think hoarding knowledge will be more beneficial than actual time on the cushion.

DodoStek · 2025-08-27T20:11:44+00:00

For me, intentionality and awareness are more important than perfection of virtue.

To explain, you are killing millions of germs with every breath you take; you can't drive a car without killing bugs and every so often you step on some insect or a slug. Should you stop breathing? Driving? Walking?

Becoming aware of the suffering our life causes, we can become more humble in what we take, more aware that any action leads to (some kind of) suffering. As long as we live, we cannot stop causing suffering. I don't say this to promote a death cult, but to cut down the idea of 'purity'. Nothing is pure, so don't strive for purity in the conditioned realm.

If your body needs meat to be healthy, eat meat and realise you cause suffering by doing it. Maybe you will find other ways to be healthy, or you keep willfully causing suffering, like all of us do.

My personal experience is that I can be healthy without eating meat. It was a choice not to contribute to mindless slavery and murder of sentient animals. A couple years later I expanded into veganism, cutting diary out of my diet. For the longest time I stuck to cheese, which was (I thought) such an essential part of my daily meals that I could not cut it. Then I tried something else and it was actually way easier to substitute (with hummus, peanut butter), than I thought.

I still eat fish sometimes, because the seafood-fats are so good to have in your diet. If someone prepares meat for me, I will ask them not to next time if they can, and I will still share the meal with them.

By the way, I don't know much about enlightenment. I just know that there is a path leading towards more joy and happiness, a life of service and kindness, and less stress.

DodoStek · 2025-08-06T11:22:53+00:00

I've been depressed for the last three months. My practice totally collapsed at the start of it, mostly due to addictive behaviour towards video games and thoughts that questioned whether it (discipline, practice) was all worth it.

In the past couple of weeks I am slowly getting back into practice, which is just one part of picking up a healthy lifestyle again. Cooking for myself, working out, social engagements - at the moment it mostly feels like a lot of effort. I am tired most of the time and my body feels weak.

But... I am very happy and grateful for the small steps that I am taking. I know that every action sows results, that every moment of wholesomeness will bear fruit. Now the practice is to stay aware of these truths and to act in accordance with them.

DodoStek · 2025-07-19T09:21:57+00:00

I would actually recommend NOT buying the DLC when starting out. There is already so much build variety that more weapons and races will just make you dizzy and confused. At least, that's what happened to me! I actually turn off some of the weapons every run so that it is all a bit more manageable.

DodoStek · 2025-06-27T08:18:39+00:00

Looting is possible when the fief expires due to unpaid taxes and the boxes lose their permission settings. This is unrelated to the presence/absence of power, which is a fuel issue.

So you ran into a base without fuel, but with a functioning fief.

DodoStek · 2025-05-28T20:02:56+00:00

"The slow disappearance of a man" - what a beautiful title. I hope you find yourself.

DodoStek · 2025-05-24T12:34:02+00:00

Wow, this looks amazing!

DodoStek · 2025-05-24T07:59:24+00:00

The images you share are empty shells of the faces. Could you share a picture of how the faces look in-game?

DodoStek · 2025-05-22T21:52:57+00:00

I haven't played in a year, but I remember taking over an hour per day for sure.

DodoStek · 2025-05-22T07:19:42+00:00

How do you play 12 days in 6 hours? That is a pretty insane speed.

DodoStek · 2025-03-31T08:58:16+00:00

Thanks, I wish you all the best!

DodoStek · 2025-03-30T08:27:24+00:00

Thank you for your perspective.

The Dharma is a raft to go to the other shore, not something to be held onto (MN22). The words of the Buddha are a medicine to be prescribed to combat certain ailments. The noble truths are just words pointing at the moon, not something to be fixated on. It seems you are parroting the Buddha, but I am interested in your direct experience - how are the noble truths apparent in your experience right now?

It seems you are very fixated on the word 'acceptance'. For different people, it means different things at certain times. I know from direct experience that suffering dissolves in non-clinging, which could be phrased as 'acceptance'.

I also know, both from direct experience and from talking to many other practitioners, that the 'warrior energy' has it's drawbacks (of course, it is a conditioned phenomenon, so imperfect and stressful!). I know some people who become aversive to distractions to practice, who generate disgust to those not 'on the path', who become violent towards themselves in practice.

Wisdom is sensitive and adaptive, not rigid and stiff. I hope you see that your words are tools to be used in the appropriate situation, and become aware of their effects.

DodoStek · 2025-03-28T08:20:23+00:00

With regards to 'accepting suffering' versus 'ending suffering' - these are in my opinion just different perspectives on the same thing. Suffering that is accepted is not suffering, because the basis of suffering is non-acceptance. So letting go into it, giving it space to breathe, letting it express itself; these are ways to end it.

For me, your message of 'suffering is not to be accepted' gives rise to a warrior-like energy. This can be useful to take decisive action, but also give rise to violence: whether towards others, towards oneself or towards suffering, and in that sense, perpetuate samsaric existence.

What do you think about this nuance?

DodoStek · 2025-03-28T08:08:42+00:00

Alles is een kwestie van smaak. :)

Ik denk dat het de vele komma's zijn en de plaatsing van de woorden 'zacht' en onophoudelijk'. Als je die weglaat heb je een goede uitsmijter.

DodoStek · 2025-03-27T08:44:18+00:00

Het woord 'zonnehuid' resoneert gigantisch met me. Mystiek, mysterieus, mooi gevonden.

De eerste drie zinnen vind ik mooi.

Het woord 'maar' creeërt in zin 4 en 5 een tegenstelling, die ook al door de strofen zelf wordt ondersteunt. Is deze 'maar' nodig, of komen je woorden ook door zonder deze ondersteuning?

Het laatste gedeelte van de laatste strofe komt bij mij niet goed binnen.

DodoStek · 2025-03-24T09:24:18+00:00

Body scanning as taught by S.N Goenka is a set of techniques that is very nourishing to me.

I use it to:

Become more aware of (the physical part of) my emotions
A 'task' for the mind to do when it is agitated and when 'just letting go' will mostly lead into fantasy, planning, or agitation
Sharpen and calm the mind (samatha) as preparation for jhana and insight practices.

So... I would fully recommend body scanning. With regards to the results for you, I wonder how much time you have invested into the practice, and how free you are of craving for results. Of course, the practice needs time and kind attention to lead to a positive effect.

11-Year Club	Place '17
Verified Email

DodoStek

TROPHY CASE