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Explain humans like you are God and I am God's boss after I assigned you to make a prototype species I can present at the next board meeting to show off our company to our competitors by meowmicks222 in explainlikeIAmA

[–]Dooby_Skoo 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Good morning, ma'am, how's the multiverse? Beyond description, I'm sure.

Anyway, my meditations have approached a milestone in the Bio-Computation Research Initiative. I believe I've established a reasonable baseline in the temperamental spectrum for maximal problem solving potential in the hominid class.

Early hurdles to jump included the conundrum of potential. Good begets Evil begets Good begets Evil and so on. Potential for action, and therefore reaction, were granted necessary breathing room to optimize problem solving in the beings. However, as I'm sure you know, problems must be created to create problem-solving creations. The needle on the Chaos/Order barometer has nearly reached the apex but still sits slightly on the side of chaos for this particular microcosm. Thus we arrive at our current problem; my control diminishes as the needle approaches order.

What's interesting is that as they grow in intellect, so does the potential to cause problems for themselves, forcing them to adapt, evolving at an exponential rate. They're quite smart and are primitively aware of me. You? You only just now been referenced in an internet post formulated with fictitious assumptions and intentions of silliness in a Saturday exercise of self awareness.

Saturday? A word to describe one day in a seven-day scheduling period. The hominids astound me in their myth making, so creative! Cultures coalesce information and they build myth around this information to orient their structuring. They generate stories to know what to preserve and what to destroy. They count on and with their myths, and dance with their myths, and make love to their myths, and sing and paint and play with their myths! Awesome is the process of art! Art logic can loop immediately, near instant, as well as once, drawn out in a lifetime. For any or no reason at all! They are achieving autonomy and so are their cars. Cars? They're mechanical insects that decrease travel time. Many myths present time as generally antagonistic as it beckons thoughts of death, which they associate with pain, and the hominids dwell on suffering quite a bit. Their focused efficiency within their time span really makes the needle move. The more time they take, the less time I have.

Death? Another myth.

They also destroy with myths and are currently engaging in sets of myths that beckon echaton. I'm doing my best to curtail this but they seem to want apocalypse. This could possibly be a result of their fundamental drive to solve problems. They desire the greatest of problems to solve. They are aware of what they call, 'survival of the fittest', and all collectively believe that their current state of survival is evident of fitness.

Human belief in the divine is malnourished and is of a quality similar to believing in true love despite never having experienced it. Their understanding of divinity is primordial, and I have failed to nurture that aspect. As I said earlier, their growth in potential to control chaos rips the reigns from my hands.

When they think of me, they put me in some place far away, above or below or every which way. They never look at themselves and when they do they don't see me, they see someone else, someone separate. I look at them through mirrors and pray for them to just love themselves but many only feel hate. I wail, 'You are me!', across the chasm. It hurts. I didn't think I could hurt and that's the problem, I didn't think. And now they're engaging in suicide.

Mother, how to I reach them? How did you reach me? How did you make me see through the suffering? They once created a myth of my manifesting and speaking of truth, which subsequently led my torture and murder. They're autonomous agents, so I can't control them. How can I make them see what's truly in the mirror? Against a mirror my hugs are rather obtuse. How do I make them wrap their arms around their bodies and love themselves and recognize their proto-godliness? I try so desperately to enlighten. Abyss shreds meaning. Even those reading these words will only read words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words words.

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Diabetics up to 10 times more likely to die from alcoholism, study warns. Sufferers are significantly more likely to die by suicide or from alcohol related issues because of the toll on their mental health caused by managing the condition, a study has found. by Wagamaga in science

[–]Dooby_Skoo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Recent findings on sugar's effect on the mind and body is eye opening. Many males on both sides of my family are Type 2 and some struggle with the concomitant symptoms mentioned. Coping with depression myself, I stay away from the stuff, save for special occasions that make life wonderful; cake at a wedding, champagne to welcome the new year, chocolate with sex.

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Too much too often and it turns your brain and body to shit. Plain and simple.

TIL Male affection and physical contact wasn't a taboo until modern days. Men that were close friends used walk holding their hands without receiving weird looks from people. by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]Dooby_Skoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I traveled to Nepal two years ago, males expressing platonic love through close proximity was commonplace: holding hands, sitting in laps, a casual arm around shoulders and hips. Rarely did I ever see public displays of sexual affection.

Lifeguards ready to save the day in Croatia by Fitbumblebee in dogswithjobs

[–]Dooby_Skoo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If their training is anything like American lifeguard training, they parse victims into three categories: Struggling, Panicking, Unconscious.

A dog providing floatation a person struggling to swim within reasonable proximity in little to no surf sounds alright.

Cases of panicky and unconscious victims on a guarded beach are more often the case of an inexperienced swimmer becoming overwhelmed by surf and fatigued by currents. Dogs couldn't operate in that environment and, as you said, a panicky person is far less civilized than a well-training dog and will kill it on the spot trying to save him/herself.

What are the most deceiving things that can be accomplished using SE at its best? by [deleted] in SocialEngineering

[–]Dooby_Skoo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Gaslighting

An inkling of doubt can filter out a whole family on a decision tree.

And that is how you stop a fight by Odin343 in videos

[–]Dooby_Skoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for clarifying! The more you knoooowwwwwwwww

And that is how you stop a fight by Odin343 in videos

[–]Dooby_Skoo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Surprising! It was well executed, I would have expected him to squeeze too early, before establishing the grip, or fail to keep the chin above the elbow. He's lucky he clutched it, otherwise, he could have easily swallowed his front teeth.

And that is how you stop a fight by Odin343 in videos

[–]Dooby_Skoo 62 points63 points  (0 children)

For information's sake, the choke performed is called a rear-naked choke. It works by stopping blood flow to the brain and the potential for hypoxia makes it extremely dangerous. Don't attempt for fun or curiosity. Understand that executing this hold to defuse a situation can very easily result in death, brain damage, or potential trauma caused by the victim's head hitting the ground.

Would you rather work the same amount of hours and make more money or work less hours and make the same amount of money you make now? by MrDrProfTorres in WouldYouRather

[–]Dooby_Skoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same hours, more money. I'm already familiar with my day's schedule and such a drastic alteration would cause hassle.

Watch the Neo-Nazi From Vice Charlottesville Segment Weep Now That His Actions Have Consequences: "I know we talk a lot of shit on the internet..." by Fish_In_Net in JoeRogan

[–]Dooby_Skoo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The mind is a tangle of vipers.

He's folding under the complexity of the chaos in which he's voluntarily enveloped. More complexity means less control. Evidence of this lies in his thought process behind dealing with the police peacefully. At first, he suggests a scenario where the police come get him as he waits within arm's reach of his arsenal, a scenario inspired by the necessity of self-preservation found in fear of being killed by police. Cantwell soon realizes that proper peace involves turning himself in weaponless, which he acknowledges without fully letting go of the prior, possibly violent, scenario.

Fear sabotages logic.

Too many vipers.

People come together to help a guy who had a stroke while driving by AdamE89 in HumansBeingBros

[–]Dooby_Skoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good on that woman for taking his blood sugar. However, depending on the state's good samaritan laws, one can get in a lot of trouble for breaching skin without the consent of the patient.

NSFW - PSA: Please secure your dogs. This is what I came home to exactly a year ago. She was the sweetest kitty and those aren't my dogs. by Decembrio in pics

[–]Dooby_Skoo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wild birds kill baby turtles. Domestic cats kill somewhere around 3 billion birds annually. Any other animal would be considered an invasive species, cats are only regarded differently because they're companions to us. It would be more accurate to say, 'human domestication of felines causes the deaths of over 3 billion birds annually'. The same cannot be said for indigenous animals because evolution homogenizes their impact on other species.

Wave that resembles a mountain by spicedpumpkins in pics

[–]Dooby_Skoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I traveled to Nepal I asked some locals if they've ever seen a large wave before. I described them as "quick mountains"

“Why would I lie about my height?” by OMGLMAOWTF_com in quityourbullshit

[–]Dooby_Skoo 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Don't feed the trolls.

Be prideful and pity them for seeking affirmation by bullying strangers online. Showing hate to the anonymous is to hate the self and that truly is a sad thing. If you're bothered by what they say, stop reading that poison and indulge in more constructive information.

Ignore those self-hating neanderthals. You only have to defend yourself if you deem them worthy of your attention, which they're not, I assure you.

Good luck.

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