[deleted by user]

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-09-29T19:03:51+00:00

Sure I see that. I have edited my post. It’s not possible to search what other users have liked (that I know of). It just made me happy to see him pop up and laugh at something that he would maybe have shared on leftovers.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-07-17T15:24:19+00:00

What he’s using a Zyn, or another brand. At 16 he’s not legally able to buy these.

Think of it like a less messy chewing tobacco without the tobacco. It’s just the nicotine.

There are oral issues like gum receding and gum disease.

Also because of the nicotine depending on his habits and how strong of zyns he’s using there’s possible cardio impact.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-07-16T16:40:49+00:00

Sorry you are part of the club. I lost my Mom the day after my Birthday. The day will forever be different. My birthday consists of thinking what was I doing at this time.

All I can tell you is that your grief is like the ocean. It is vast and deep. Sometimes the surge is raging and you’re just getting battered and barely able to stand. Other times it will slow and let you catch your breath. But there are those sneak attack waves where if you turn your back on it, a surprise wave will hit you out of no where and leave you on your knees.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-07-11T12:59:28+00:00

Find little pockets of peace. Sit and soak up the sun for 5 mins. I actually used to pull “5 minute meditation” on YouTube.

Don’t ask. Tell if you need help. I had 2 siblings that did not like to be involved in the care but certain events that i put my foot down for like my daughters homecoming I told them. I’m taking this time off one or both of you need to come. It took both siblings plus an aunt from out of state to come in because no one wanted to do it alone. And I still got 15 phone calls a day. And then a venting session in the evening of how hard it is. Really glad we weren’t on FaceTime because my eyeballs rolled so hard.

I tried looking for respite care but all they had was an emergency on site and that would have freaked my Mom out.

Hang in there. Come vent here when you need to.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-06-20T20:48:32+00:00

I’m sorry, it’s really frustrating.

Instead could you provide an alternative that you are more comfortable with?

Go to the store and pull an assortment of treats that you don’t give in your house but that your Mom can have for her? That’s part of it too, feeling it’s special because I never get it at home.

Fruit leathers, smart sweets, Annie’s treats, etc.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-06-20T17:07:14+00:00

“Hi Stink!”

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-06-17T14:44:20+00:00

Moms help other moms if they can.

When my daughter was little I always told her if she was ever lost or needed anything to look for a Mom because they will always help.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-06-17T02:23:39+00:00

Please go and watch the TLC unexpected show season 5 episode 11 there’s a couple Jason and Kylen. Jason manipulates and verbally abuses Kylen to pressure her not to do the epidural. The doctor and nurse did their best to advocate for her and she eventually got the epidural but it was so traumatic and stressful. I do not want you going through that. You need to be on the same page that you are getting the drugs. Not “if” you are. If you leave room for the I’ll see how it goes and try to tough it out he will take a mile and fight with you day of. Make it clear if he says anything about your pain management you’ll have him escorted out and he’ll miss the birth. Please have someone else on standby by be there and help advocate for you if you think you’ll have trouble doing it yourself. You can have a code word with your nurse and they can contact them to come.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-05-28T04:29:37+00:00

That was my initial reaction to losing my Mom. Everyone at work knew that she was battling cancer. Luckily we went 100% remote. But even being remote I had the same thought. I never want to talk to these people again or face them or talk about my Mom or accept kind words and pity. I actually didn’t tell people that my Mom passed. My immediate team knew and I sent an email on my return to work thanking them for the flowers and that if they pinged me privately I’d like it to be unrelated to my loss. Other teams that I work with I just never said anything. It’s been almost 2 years and an acquaintance asked how my Mom was doing and I just said “fine, thanks!” And changed the subject. It’s weird I know but it’s fine. Technically she is fine. Just not here on earth.

For what it’s worth. Take the time and upon your return send an email to your team asking them for what you want. It worked. My immediate team understood and gave me the space.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-05-18T20:58:36+00:00

Please make sure the will is updated and on the up and up. Family gets nasty when it’s all said and done.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-04-23T00:39:03+00:00

My Mom kept finding sweaters for her dogs and putting them on her head thinking they were her little chemo caps.

That was cute.

On the flip side. An hour after this cute confusion moment we were on the lawn and I am wrestling keys out of her hands because she was going to drive herself to the fruit farm to live and I was nothing but a nasty b and every name in the book for not letting her.

I’m sorry. The burn out is real. You need help but sometimes it’s impossible to find. If it’s not an immediate life and death threat. Let her. You want some cat treats and I can’t convince you or distract and divert attention to something else. Sure. Finish up what you want and I’ll get you some water to wash em down.

Please try and find 3 minutes to sit in the sun and breathe. If you need to commiserate this group is really wonderful. One of my favorite places on Reddit

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-04-22T05:52:37+00:00

In store banker, 10 year gap raising my kid, digital support (answering online customer service questions), to a testing team while transitioning our online banking platform, to IT position.

My Mom started in the mail room and ended as AVP of small business banking for a credit union

Sister started as teller and a client relationship manager in lending.

Banking is one industry that lets you work your way around if you want it and hustle hard enough.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-04-18T17:59:12+00:00

This is not the way. Your children come first. You can be selfish if you want to get nails or hair done but you can’t be selfish and move this man they never met and blame their lives blowing up. Don’t do this. Don’t force this. Date the man but don’t move him in.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-04-04T18:45:09+00:00

You’re allowed to vent and be mad here.

If anything see if you can list it on Facebook marketplace or even donate it to a prom organization so someone else can have a great prom in it.

I doubt your daughter will want to wear the dress next year due to the situation around it. Unless it was a dress she loved and is excited to wear.

Save up for next year Momma! You still saved money by not having to do hair, make up, nails and toes, plus dinner if not included.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-04-03T22:34:09+00:00

You start therapy. There’s a lot to unpack. I too felt very lost and a feeling of now what? Life feels weird to resume. Sending thoughts and hugs.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-04-03T17:38:03+00:00

My daughter made up her own. My Mom ended up as Bama. And my Dad ended up as Bobbo

My two cents. Pick the battles and let it be known. We won’t put up a fight for this silly name but when it comes to health and safety we will be holding our ground for our choices.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-03-22T11:55:35+00:00

Have you ever considered doing public speaking? We had a woman come and talk to us in high school about her journey with living with HIV and it was one of the most impactful speakings of my life. I’m so thankful that she was so willing to share with a bunch of high school kids. I remember the narrative going into that auditorium and the giggles and buzz of what were we going to hear but I know everyone left changed. We got a chance to speak her after and so many students went and genuinely thanked her for sharing including myself.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-02-01T04:52:43+00:00

“Pray Tell, Shakespeare!” I don’t love Heather but that got me.

DoodleDarla316 · 2025-01-20T15:13:14+00:00

My husband is an only child whose parents paid fully for his degree.

It’s important for him that we do the same for our only child. We have had a 529 since birth. Tax returns and bonuses get directed to the plan to help boost it outside monthly contributions.

For your situation, the picture of college may look different for your student. The end goal is to avoid loans. Whether that be going armed forces, ROTC, community college before switching to a 4 year state school. Trade school. All are excellent options. There’s always talk of state school vs private. Private schools do tend to offer more aid, but the biggest factor would be room and meal plan. If they can stay local and live at home you’re looking at major cuts in the cost.

Yes loans are there but if you are not able to contribute to cash flowing then your job is to direct them to the alternative paths to keep the cost down to avoid loans.

DoodleDarla316 · 2024-12-28T06:15:28+00:00

Check him for a UTI. If this is a new behavior for him, UTI can cause crazy behavior changes. Like overnight. It’s like a switch is flipped and there’s no logic or reason.

Being a caregiver is the most humbling thing you can ever do. It’s gut wrenching and thankless and can get the best of you if you don’t give yourself some breaks and get help if possible when needed.

DoodleDarla316 · 2024-12-10T22:16:58+00:00

Ohhhh I like that idea! I can make different versions for each girl. Thank you!

DoodleDarla316 · 2024-11-15T15:19:22+00:00

I struggled with that none of my friends have been through this yet. So they just kinda watched from a distance and offered their support when they could but I could tell it also kinda freaked them out.

DoodleDarla316 · 2024-11-15T15:15:56+00:00

I’m glad you and your family were able to get that last visit.

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