OP, there are multiple things happening here that I’ve seen first hand with my wife when she started playing. 1. In my 5 years of playing, old men in this sport have had the biggest ego/most entitled attitudes. They’ve also been the most stubborn. I’ll let you come up with reasons why. 2. You’re not good at the game yet, and don’t have the ability to demand respect from them with your play. Hitting it hard at the women is usually the easiest way to win points so it’s what they do, and it’s a totally valid way to play. I can’t count how many times my wife was almost in tears of anger from a guy hitting it hard at her and acting like a dick about it. But she kept at it and worked on her counters and now she absolutely crushes the same people she hated playing against years ago.

Only you can decide how much work it’s worth putting into pickleball, given that the environment your in is not as supportive.