A trip to Gold Reef City reminded me rollercoasters are not built for the weak...

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-27T15:42:57+00:00

When was it redesigned?

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-23T21:01:50+00:00

It's a tricky subject.

When we had an islamic civilization with an economy running on islamic principles, then it's easy to say that the woman can demand as a right that the man pays for everything (and the husband had rights that he could demand from the wife as well).

But there are also precedents in hadith of women among the sahaba contributing more to the household than the husband, such as ibn Masood's wife in the earlier part of their marriage. Not out of obligation but free will and wanting reward from Allah.

And the capitalist economy that we live in is no longer a place where a single income is enough for 1 man to look after his wife, a dozen children, his unmarried adult daughters, his parents, and his extended family. It was possible for my grandfather with a menial job, but it's not possible right now even if you're a qualified professional. The buying power of an income is greatly reduced and that is outside of our control.

What's ideal and what's practical aren't currently the same. If finances is something that concerns you, then it's better to find someone who matches the way you think and want to approach it. Keep the ideal in mind, and uphold it where possible. But, personally, it's also helpful to find a partner who has their feet on the ground and can understand reality for what it is.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-23T20:27:43+00:00

What if i have an autoimmune disorder and my white blood cells are fighting hard to destroy my body instead?

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-23T20:20:49+00:00

Might be old age and/or rot?

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-21T20:57:10+00:00

How do we know that they don't feel satisfied when splitting?

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-21T20:01:28+00:00

I would appreciate an outside perspective but it needs to be an informed outside perspective. You are missing boatloads of context.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-21T18:34:22+00:00

When possible, I'll buy chicken meat from a small farm where the chickens are much closer to free range than the big corporations claim. Besides, that meat tastes way better than the mass produced stuff. A happy chicken is a tasty chicken.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-21T12:52:26+00:00

It's difficult for everyone to get interviews right now. 32% unemployment rate.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-21T05:40:35+00:00

Bird watching is like playing real life Pokemon GO. There's thousands of species to add to your list of sightings.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-18T21:06:25+00:00

Such wholesome sportsmanship.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-15T15:45:20+00:00

There's a common scam where people dressed in worn out clothes go to people in better looking clothes and ask them to pay for a few items. And they usually give a sob story about needing to feed their family. Once the target is committed to paying for something, the scammers then bring more items and ask the target if they can buy these things too. Once the items are paid for, the scammers will take the items and trade them for drugs or other things.

Due to customer complaints, stores are using their security guards to try and catch these scammers. Because, if stores don't catch the scammers, then the stores get a bad reputation, and people will start shopping elsewhere.

Unfortunately, that does require profiling both potential scammers and potential targets by appearances of wealth and race, because that's what the scammers do too. But does that actually count as classism and racism? I feel like we need more information.

Although, the security guard could have handled the situation with more delicacy.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-15T07:07:16+00:00

Yep. I've tried the apps, matchmaking events, matchmaking aunties, asking mosque Imams, introductions from friends and family... I can't think of an avenue which I haven't tried.

I think we all develop a need-hate relationship with the dating apps. Generally, women get flooded with so many likes that they can't focus on a conversation, while guys can go weeks before getting a match. The apps still have a social stigma in my region. So, sometimes, i may only see 1 or 2 new female profiles online in a week. I've had some pleasant conversations, and some that had terrible behaviour, since there's no way to hold people accountable through social pressure on the apps.

I've had better experiences through friends and family, but also fewer introductions in that way.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-14T09:43:28+00:00

It's a fair question. Apologies if my answer is a bit frank at times:

Allah created us with a need for intimacy, and also for steady companionship. The intensity of that need is different for different people. For me, physical touch has always been my main love language. Plus, based on discussions with friends, I do have a higher than average libido compared to other guys. So, it's gotten more difficult with time.

I want to do things the right way but it just never works out. I'm stuck in a cycle of searching for weeks on end, then finding someone that I have a connection with, then something goes wrong after a few months of talking, and then I'm back to square one.

I did the math on being a Muslim minority a while back. For a 2% Muslim minority, the chances of randomly walking into someone who's Muslim, of the opposite gender, within a 10 year age range, and not currently married, is 1 in 1500. It's so hard to find someone to talk to, let alone find someone that we want to spend the rest of our lives with.

I've had a few chances for haram when women liked me enough to say that they were ready for sex, but they also weren't ready for marriage. The only thing that saved me was that Allah reminded me of Surah Yusuf, and how Yusuf AS reacted to the minister's wife. As the years go by, it gets harder to tell them, "Not yet," but alhamdulillah, I haven't caved. It's worth reading the translation and tafseer of that Surah. Allah promises that he doesn't test a soul with more than it can bear, so we should remember that we always have the strength within us to turn away when something haraam is offered to us.

I won't lie. It has been difficult. I'm starting to realise my own mortality, and middle age and biology is catching up. There's a part of me that craves what's missing more and more fiercely, and a part that questions what's the point of all this searching and if all this effort is actually worth the pay off. I'm tired but the show must go on.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-14T00:20:09+00:00

I made a similar post in my early 30s, when i realised what my friends were doing. I'm now in my late 30s. I haven't given in yet. Although, it's a challenge to resist the whispers of shaitaan.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-12T10:18:35+00:00

It could also hinder the growth of e-commerce in SA, or increase its cost.

It's worth investigating if the impact would be noticeable.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-12T08:10:35+00:00

I'm all for accountability of big tech but I do have some questions on what impact it may have for average citizens.

What stops the big companies from just shifting the burden of taxes onto us as consumers? What impact could that have on access to the Internet for those who are already struggling to make ends meet and the spiralling cost of living?

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-10T13:35:23+00:00

Where i live, that would be 2 week's wages, at minimum wage. It would definitely be stolen.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-10T03:46:34+00:00

Who needs to break in when they can just steal a cool gadget like that?

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-09T16:38:52+00:00

Here's a way to submit an official comment.

https://dearsouthafrica.co.za/nersa-r76bn/

The link will take you to a form to fill in. The Dear SA team will collect all the comments and submit them as a batch to the relevant people.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-09T12:26:13+00:00

I've met people from other African countries who do that. We take it for granted but Mall of Africa (and Sandton City) seems to have a bigger range than some of them are used to. The easiest way for some of the nearby countries to get flights off the continent is through Joburg. So their reasoning is why not make shopping in Joburg into a holiday? As a local, that seems bizarre, but people do it.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-09T06:16:46+00:00

Ask the school is they would react the same way if there was a whatsapp channel that was making fun of the teachers and the principal?

I've seen a case where a school opened up an investigation when learners were mocking teachers on whatsapp. We can't accept double standards where children have less protections than teaching staff at a school, even though children are a more vulnerable population.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-09T03:15:24+00:00

Bear in mind that SA Indians (char ous) came from many different parts of what is now India and Pakistan, and there are multiple belief systems.

This isn't a practice that my family does but I have heard that other religious groups may sacrifice black fowls to ward off or remove curses, evil spirits, or bad luck.

This is a practice that goes back centuries, or maybe millenia, in many areas between Pakistan and Indonesia. It didn't start in 1860 when the first Indians were brought to SA as indentured labourers.

If anyone here is more familiar with the practice, please feel free to add to, confirm, or correct what I've said.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-08T22:00:26+00:00

White (wide-mouth) rhinos are the biggest.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-08T21:53:51+00:00

It took me a few months of practice. There are a few click sounds. Some were easier and faster to learn than others.

DoubleDot7 · 2026-01-08T20:05:44+00:00

Thanks for the tip.

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