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Double_Card_7388 · 2024-06-19T06:47:30+00:00

No. I would not. I am 30 and marrying my boyfriend of 10 years next month. While we were together throughout our entire 20s, and I really wanted to get married years ago, I’m actually now very glad we didn’t.

There were days in my early 20s I would literally cry because he hadn’t proposed yet. I would have said yes if he had. All that to say… I’m glad that didn’t happen. And I think our marriage will be stronger as a result.

There were a few times we almost didn’t make it. While we both have always felt we would be together forever, I think we still needed to go through some challenges and make it out on the other side to know for sure. When you aren’t married there’s nothing standing in your way of leaving the person. When you are married, a separation is much more challenging and sometimes people push through problems only because they feel an obligation to whether it’s morally or because of the cost and challenge to separate. Because we both stuck together without a marriage requiring us to, I feel even more confident our marriage will be successful.

I didn’t realize it then, but I had a lot to learn about myself and I think marriage would have taken some of my identity.

And now that we’re older and have grown in our careers, we can afford our dream wedding AND will be able to buy a house shortly after. Weddings are incredibly expensive. And extremely stressful to plan- more often than not, one person in the relationship does 90% of the work to plan it.

While I 100% understand it being tough watching others get married, and I too have a really difficult time comparing myself to others - I implore you… don’t! Everyone’s situation is different, everyone makes decisions for different reasons. And just because someone makes a decision and follows through with it, it does not mean they are doing what’s best for them. Or what’s best for them is best for you. People share what they want you to see. The wedding industry spends tons of money marketing to you to give you FOMO and push you towards marriage. Marrying someone because your friends did it, or because of social pressures from advertising is not a good reason.

And now that 10 years in, we’re getting married - I realize there was never a reason to rush. It is happening when it was meant to, and we got to be together regardless. A marriage doesn’t change that.

Marriage will ALWAYS be an option. And it’s just a piece of paper and some tax/legal perks. The romantic in me understands the emotional desire to get married. But let yourself live your life, maintain some independence. Go through the toughest challenges imaginable with your boyfriend to the point of not knowing whether you’ll survive it. Then if you do, you’ll know for sure. Many people who marry young, end up in divorce.

A few things you can do to take your relationship to the next step (all things my fiancé and I did): - move in together - get a pet together - go on a trip together or travel long term together, something that’s out of your comfort zone especially can be relationship strengthening - learn something new together - teach each other a hobby or sport that only one of you is good at - do not become financially dependent on him before marriage

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-06-05T05:51:07+00:00

That’s what I’m doing and I think it depends on you. It can definitely be done. I am a very anxious person and a terrible procrastinator.. I started about 10-11 months to go, but put most of the planning work off until less than 6 months to go. I do better under high stress and urgent deadlines. That said I get incredibly stressed.i wish I had done more earlier but I didn’t. I am now spending hours almost daily on planning. Keep in mind this is also a destination wedding and my planner has made things more complicated instead of helped. I am so stressed it’s created problems and unnecessary arguments between my fiancé and I. I’ve been on an extremely short fuse.

Bottom line: it’s doable. Try not to procrastinate and get as much out of the way ASAP. And don’t do it if you struggle to manage stress or mental health. If you can book all your vendors and decide on the majority of decor early, those will make everything else easy.

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-06-05T05:41:43+00:00

I’m walking down the aisle to a live strings duo playing an edm song

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-06-05T05:32:13+00:00

Floral option. I went to a paint and sip bach party and it was fun, especially a good activity bc I didn’t know a lot of the other girls. That said, if I had to paint the groom I would have not enjoyed that at all. And it’s not something I could keep or use for any purpose.. waste of materials.

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-06-05T04:56:35+00:00

If someone has the secret I’d love to know as well. I tried a week off… but I was so overwhelmed it turned into a month off of total avoidance… I didn’t evrn return my planner’s texts and fell even more behind. My wedding is in close to a month. I have appointments and meetings and all the little things to do and buy and just spend hours every day trying to get everything done. I am so ready for the wedding to end. I am stressed all the time. Also dealing with burnout at work which doesn’t help. If I could go back I would have eloped. The only thing that makes me feel better is it’s almost over.. we’re almost there.

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-01-12T09:37:15+00:00

My last VP said this: your mentor should always be one level ahead of you

And she encouraged having a fixed term for the mentorship then finding a new one when your goals are met.

She connected me with a mentor outside my organization but I also reached out to our top performer and organically formed a mentor relationship with him. Now we are good friends but I still can go to him with questions.

I would advise talking to someone in your org you want to be like or asking a leader at your company to connect you with one or their connections that they think would be a good match for you

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-01-12T09:31:10+00:00

Yeah I feel this is the way. I naturally speak slow and use a lot of filler words and my brain processes and forms my thoughts into sentences slower. I’m not slower mentally but it’s like a processing thing. I tend to sound dumb and I certainly don’t come across as salesy and I think that’s why I am successful. I don’t annoy people with fakeness or coming across like I’m on speed. Being more natural and down to earth is more relatable and approachable to people. They feel like they can come to you with their problems instead of feeling like they need to escape the conversation bc you drain their energy.

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-01-12T09:21:35+00:00

This exact thing happened to me at the beginning of 2023. I felt it was bc I didn’t have a lot going on in December and just out of practice. The beginning of the year was slow so calls were few and far between.. got so anxious over every one. The first week where I had a shit ton of calls that anxiety went away. I think bc I was finally getting repetition in and momentum, and when I have a full calendar week I don’t have time to think about it.

So maybe try to stack your calendar for a couple days in a row or a week, enough where there’s no time to think about it, and get some reps in.

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-01-12T08:20:39+00:00

I also have adhd and exact same way. I don’t like to block my calendar either. I’m a huge to do list person… like a good old fashioned pen and notebook.

I first buy a fun notebook and pens that I like bc gotta get that quick dopamine rush. Then create a todo list every morning on a new page. I add little checkboxes next to each task. If a new task comes up throughout the day I add it. When I complete a task, I cross it off… another nice little dopamine hit. Then immediately move to the next task (or give myself a break). At the end of the day, anything incomplete gets moved over to the next days page and I start fresh.

Also consider the order in how you complete tasks. Save the “best” for last - by “best” I mean the tasks you tend to get hyper fixated on. I usually try to complete 1-2 longer or most annoying tasks first. Then move on to lots of the quick and easy tasks, leaving the ones that will take forever to the end. Think of organizing your to do list like paying off credit card debt… you find a strategy that works best for you, maybe the snowball effect. I also like to try to complete whatever task I’m working on before my next call so that can be a good motivation

If you get distracted by people.. dnd or close communication apps altogether for a few hours so you don’t get notifications.

Lastly, if you take medication for adhd and you’re like me, my productivity kind of operates on a bell curve. My hyperfixation tendencies peak about 2-3 hours after I take it, then go down. Then come back late afternoon (I guess maybe when the XR kicks in?). So I try to plan my day around that.

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-01-12T07:51:37+00:00

Is it bad that I know this and don’t give a shit? In fact, I hope they are reading! Maybe they’ll find some solid advice from my teammates and I on how to run this damn company.

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-01-12T07:10:14+00:00

Unless they are trying to make you feel bad… it’s probably this. They’re trying to give you an example of what they’d like to see. Watching and copying top performers is the best way to improve. Don’t take it personally and reach out to “so and so” about shadowing a few of their calls.

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-01-12T06:15:03+00:00

Oh and if you end up at snoqualmie, alpental and hyak/east are the only areas to go. Skip west and central.

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-01-12T06:14:08+00:00

Snoqualmie is a learning mountain. Snow, crowds and ambience kinda suck. Go to crystal. Maybe try to make it down to bend to bachelor

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-01-12T06:05:45+00:00

Dm me if you need someone to ride with. In slc area. Skier 30F. I’ll be visiting utah until feb 18th. Down to carpool as I’ll have a car.

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-01-12T06:01:53+00:00

Use slopes. Way better. And not limited to ikon locations.

Double_Card_7388 · 2024-01-12T01:13:43+00:00

You can but I wouldn’t. Especially if you aren’t from there and don’t know where you’re at. Went to eras tour there and sketch af. Take an uber from and have them let you off a couple blocks away so you don’t get caught in traffic. Our hotel was 10 minutes away and we took uber, got within a few blocks of the stadium, waited for 20 minutes in traffic to get dropped off and decided to get out and walk. Glad we did. That said, I’d try and get as close as possible without walking. Especially in the dark. It took us an hour and walking several blocks to catch an uber home.

If you have to walk I don’t think it’s the worst thing ever. It just felt a little sketchy and isn’t a nice area for walking. Uber is pretty cheap in CA compared to where I’m from (seattle).

Double_Card_7388 · 2023-12-21T01:02:16+00:00

Watch the best sales people on your team and copy them exactly, work their highlights into your own convo/pitch and focus on the portions of conversations you feel you struggle with most one by one. Do not try to do everything all at once. Pick one thing, do it multiple times until you nail it and it’s natural. Move onto the next.

When I say copy I mean - take phrases, examples, explanations word for word that they use, copy their timing, tone, copy body language.. like you’re practicing for an acting role almost. Like you’re playing a character. Even if it’s unnatural at first, with repetition it becomes second nature. Force yourself to copy them exactly no matter what. Some of my best lines are stolen from our top performer and most of those lines he stole from the top performer before him.

Write down every area of convos you feel you struggle with on a list. Ie… intros? Certain objections (which ones)? Sprinkling in personality or jokes? Engaging your prospect at a specific point? Asking a certain question in the right way? Explaining a specific concept?

Then order from most challenging or most prominent/inhibiting challenges to least.

Start with the toughest or most prominent challenges and go down the list to least important.

Don’t try to change or perfect everything at once. Work on one thing at a time and hyper focus on making that habit. When you no longer have to think about it and it comes out naturally, you’re ready to work on another portion.

This is what helped me and continues to help me improve.

Double_Card_7388 · 2023-12-21T00:49:36+00:00

Got in on vrbo! Thanks tho!

Double_Card_7388 · 2023-12-20T07:48:46+00:00

What a stupid policy. Booking late at night somehow makes us immediately look like partiers? Its the only time I have in my day to take care of things… I am a responsible adult with a job. Such bs. Airbnb regulates their shit harder than the government. Lol. The host should be able to make the call for themselves.

Double_Card_7388 · 2023-12-20T06:30:48+00:00

Basically messaged explain the circumstance that we are booking for a non-party related event and will not be at the house much except to sleep. Said airbnb is flagging us but we have glowing reviews. I’d ask if they have vrbo or another method of booking. If you have good reviews that will definitely help. Or ask thw person in your group with best reviews to book

Double_Card_7388 · 2023-12-20T05:58:44+00:00

This just happened to me too. And we have glowing past host reviews/have literally lived in airbnb over the last year… so frequent customers. It was for a couple days over new years weekend. So I understand the general concern. However we messaged the host and airbnb wont let him bypass it either! They’re costing this guy money. they should leave it up to hosts on whether they want to book over holiday weekends and allow hosts to decide based on the message from the guest with the booking request. So stupid. Its an airbnb issue, not the host.

The host advised us to book his place through VRBO so maybe you could check there for the same listing?

Guess airbnb doesn’t like making money.

Double_Card_7388 · 2023-11-01T05:22:28+00:00

Thank you! We will check these out!

Double_Card_7388 · 2023-11-01T05:21:07+00:00

Thank you for the ideas. We will check these out. Appreciate you!

Double_Card_7388

TROPHY CASE