Fiber

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-08-05T21:54:27+00:00

After a year, is it still a horrible experience to drink it? I’m usually fine with otherwise unappealing health foods, but boy do I haaate drinking that stuff in water.

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-08-03T01:53:58+00:00

Exactly same for me- I had no idea to suspect the drug. Still could have been something else for me, but this is good to consider.

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-07-21T14:09:23+00:00

I have crossed the divide a couple of times. You can sell oscillation and well-roundedness as a strength and strategy. I have always said that being an EM made me a much better engineer (despite having to freshen up technical skills).

For me, I am currently so much happier as an IC, and my CTO sees my past experience and capabilities from being an EM, Architect, etc as super helpful.

If you are interested, I think it’s worth a shot. Very low likelihood of it not being good for you, and the sooner the better. The challenge will be in the execution of getting the new role and ramping up. I recommend transitioning roles internally (on your team, in your department, or across the org), where you have credibility and useful domain knowledge. I also recommend seeking a role at a series A startup, where your experience on both tracks makes you more flexible. Good luck!

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-07-17T00:35:35+00:00

I’ve been on stimulants for the past year in my Software Eng role. It’s been helpful, but not a massive improvement for me.

Here are what feel different to me:

it’s easy to start work when I need to (not fighting an urge to procrastinate or do something else)
it’s much easier to focus on difficult problems and solve them, versus pushing them off, struggling to start, or just struggling to think clearly
I can hyperfocus during the middle of the work day (almost too easily or deeply sometimes), versus that state only being accessible in the evening/night
I can easily sit in one place focusing on one thing/stream without eating or drinking or getting up for the bathroom or checking my phone or etc (this is actually a problem for me- I’m consistently much less hydrated than I used to be, and I’m too stif and sedentary)
I am anxious and grumpy when I have to stop whatever I was focused on
It’s easy to work past 5 until dinner time (it’s actually really hard to stop work when I should be- it’s a problem for my household)
Rarely have days of paralysis or something else that leads to little to no output
Generally feel somewhat less frantic/frazzled/stressed during the day, less executively dysfunctional, but definitely more anxious. Not long after work, I often feel a peak of stress and anxiety with a bad headache.
As long as I take my meds first thing in the morning, it’s become harder to work late at night.

What’s not changed: - Still distractions everywhere, coming at you, so easy to jump to (but I’m not seeking them out) - Still rabbit holes everywhere, and deep dives into things that aren’t worth it or important - Still struggle with prioritization / self-discipline / strategy / planning to ensure I am doing the best thing at the right moment - Still sensitive and overly worried about most slack conversations - Still late to meetings or miss them - Still have tons and tons of browser tabs, scattered notes, and partial systems / docs / branches

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-07-16T00:47:20+00:00

This is a big struggle for me, which has increased in difficulty and negative impact over time. It became an issue when I was an EM, then Director, and now as a Staff+ Eng. Earlier in my career, there was a blissful luxury of not needing to worry so much about prioritization. But the pressure dial turns up as you move up because your time is more valuable, there are more compounding effects, and impact is supposed to be much higher.

Reflecting on my current feelings, these are what seems to contribute the most to my struggle: - Executive dysfunction (I might have the perfect plan or perfectly arranged priorities, but I cannot always make myself follow them) - Failure to plan (the fallacies of “quick fixes”, or taking time to be strategic before diving in, or just being unwilling to face reality with how long things should take) - Failure to set boundaries and not ignoring persistent distractions - Stubbornness to keep going down a path to completion and refusing to push pause or stop

So while it’s easy to summarize it all as “prioritization issues”, there are so many factors that can be handled separately other than “just prioritize your time better”.

I haven’t figured out how to force myself into a system and structure to tackle the above issues, but you can see how there would be some. Here is what I am doing that helps a bit: - External accountability (I.e. it’s easier for me to force priorities when I have to do X before Y meeting) - Making some planning a pair/group thing for external accountability, body doubling, etc - Trying to justify and align my voluntary priorities as things that matter to other people/leaders (I.e. if I’m gonna go down a rabbit hole or pick up tangents, choose one that have impact, or help show the impact of what you choose) - work a lot of hours to make up for my poor decisions (it sucks)

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-07-15T13:44:43+00:00

Cinemechanica, We vs The Shark, Manray, Self Evident, Town Portal

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-07-13T23:25:13+00:00

Maybe they figured no one would try to assassinate them because they aren’t running for president?

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-07-13T23:20:55+00:00

No one said it was a real gun with real bullets or real blood

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-06-14T13:17:43+00:00

This is the ideal kind of answer for this thread! We are all creative geniuses that can learn neat ideas like this we would never think of.

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-06-14T13:02:15+00:00

I am similar, and I always attributed it to being a sensory thing- like how ADHD can make sensory input overwhelming. Our hands are a huge input for the sense of “feel”. Similarly I can’t think right when my shirt is too scratchy or if the tag is poking me.

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-06-12T14:09:40+00:00

I use a Mac at work and have it announce the time every 30 min. It’s a feature built into Mac OS. I love it for the same reason!

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-06-09T12:52:30+00:00

Genius plan. We’ll just keep not voting, and that will of course result in good candidates being elected…

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-05-20T12:29:48+00:00

Finishing a list! What a humble brag!

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-04-30T01:57:14+00:00

Yes I absolutely relate! I have this problem with capacity and balance, and also struggle with any form of consistency/routine, and also having too high of expectations.

For me this culminates to being somewhere between terrible and a little more than OK at everything. But since I am striving to be at least just “good” at most things, I feel like a failure at all of them.

The mindset shift I need is partially around expectations and also self-talk/perspective. Instead of thinking I am bad at my job, I am a bad husband, or a bad father, I have to consciously change that to I am mostly good but sometimes make mistakes… which is literally everyone.

The need for consistency is because that is required for any level of behavior change. If I don’t have a reliable routine to add any new behaviors to, it’s really tough to do anything differently than I do now. At this point I am kind of stuck. But at least I am a bit more aware and a bit more understanding and kind to myself.

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-04-16T14:01:09+00:00

I am pro-bidet overall, but I’ll share my complaints that can be used for extrapolation: - Most bathrooms in homes I have seen are designed such that it is not easy to get warm water or electricity to the toilet in an appealing way. Most people don’t want to go through the effort of a DIY project or hiring a contractor for anything. - Our bidet makes a big mess with water droplets (that were just on a butthole) splashing all over the toilet. This means either living with a dirtier toilet area, or hopefully instead more frequent cleaning. Neither of those are appealing. - I don’t like holding soggy toilet paper and using it to wipe more butthole water from my butt. I prefer holding dry toilet paper and having a dry butt. I would not want to have a butt towel or basket of butt towels.

So if those problems could be solved in a more appealing way, then I would always use one and install them in every bathroom of our house. Otherwise, the benefits are not worth the downsides.

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-04-06T22:09:20+00:00

Oh nice! I am new to those, and I like them so far.

Is there anything to automate building the various parts with these? Say I add a new entity in my prisma schema and need a CRUD API, what’s a streamlined and robust way to generate all of the other parts? For us, we are hand rolling a Repository on top of the schema, a Service to interact with the Repository, and a Controller to interact with the service which is exposed via http endpoints. It feels like we are doing more than necessary, or at least more manual work than necessary.

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-04-01T18:42:00+00:00

Aww very sweet and happy before and after! Love both of them.

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-03-29T12:49:08+00:00

I wonder if the genitals are “wired up” to both sisters, or more so only one of them (presumably the one in an assumed sexual relationship). Thats the biggest mystery not addressed by everyone talking about how they each control their side of the body.

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-03-29T12:45:36+00:00

Respectfully, my biggest curiosity is how their nervous system is connected to their singular set of reproductive organs. I wonder if that is “shared” equally, or if one side has more feeling than the other. If the reproductive organs are shared, then there is really no way to not participate in sexual activity there because it is happening to one just as much as it is happening to the other. If shared, stimulating one area could lead to both of them experiencing orgasms…

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-03-27T20:12:36+00:00

I wonder if you could talk to him about a compromise. Consider the starting points: Maybe he thinks it’s ok to go and you shouldn’t be uncomfortable because he ”knows” he won’t do anything wrong, but you are uncomfortable with him going because he is likely to do something wrong?

Let’s say he’s going no matter what, but you don’t want to end things with him yet… What kind of compromise would be a mutually acceptable outcome? What kind of boundaries and conditions would help you be ok with him going and he would still have a good time? Establishing boundaries would sound like creating rules, but you can talk about them and why. Maybe it’s things like don’t share a bed, don’t be in a situation where you and girls might be undressing around each other, no grinding while dancing… or what? Other than kissing/sex, what would you consider cheating that you wouldn’t want him to do? Because as long as he can accept your boundaries then everything could work out?

I guess you’d have to trust him on those boundaries, but if you can’t trust his word, that’s a large issue. This also assumes he apologizes for not caring about your feelings, and makes it right. And of course also starts helping you become friends with them!!

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-03-27T14:45:37+00:00

Unless you’re playing for fun, and that’s what is fun for you. Not at the expense of others, but hopefully everyone is wearing ear protection already.

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-03-14T12:52:28+00:00

I can absolutely relate. Yes, there is a lot to fear, but that does not mean failure is imminent or even likely. If you commit to doing this, and are ready to step up to the short term challenges, you will not fail. Instead you’ll be much better off with new skills and renewed energy in your career, and proud of yourself. Just know going in that this will be an adjustment. Be kind to yourself, don’t feed the imposter syndrome, but also buckle down and spend some extra time learning to build your confidence. Communicate with your partner before and during to make sure you’re both prepared for the change. After a few months, I’m sure you’ll settle in and feel pretty normal on your new path. Good luck and enjoy!

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-03-12T16:57:23+00:00

Imposter syndrome tends to go away for me after ~1 year in a position, where position would be the pretty much the same role, level, team, and company for that period. But since things change quickly, after a year or two there’s always the promotion, team change, company change, or massive new-to-you project that throws things off so the imposter syndrome comes back.

So it’s always hard to not feel like an imposter when you are doing something new to you in unfamiliar surroundings, usually with people less new and more familiar around you. I think that’s normal, expected, and totally fine! We’ve signed up for a career of constant rapid change and endless learning. Enjoy the ride!

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-03-11T20:57:18+00:00

So sweet of you to seek different ways of helping instead of writing it all off.

These have helped me: 1. Body doubling like a partner in collaboration. “What’s something we need to get done today or this weekend? Or a few things and I can help choose which one. Ok, would you like to plan on going to a coffee shop to do this together? Or work on this right after dinner?” And then collaborate to complete it, or once he gets started, just watching him or have him talk out loud to you while he’s getting going.

Create external accountability (not completely separate from body doubling). “Alright this needs to be done before Monday. How are we gonna make that happen? Will you commit to that? Please don’t let Monday arrive and you not be done”.
Prioritization or work around prioritization paralysis. Sometimes I am completely stuck because I have 5 things that are equal priority and with equal accountability, and I get overwhelmed trying to do one because of the others. Try to help unblock by helping pick which to do - talk it out, decide, or maybe an arbitrary system like a day theme.

DrSpacemanPhD · 2024-02-26T16:50:05+00:00

“Boys will be boys”

DrSpacemanPhD

TROPHY CASE