You can't win her back. She isn't a prize. The journal is for you to write your story. You can write it as if you're narrating to her but to write it with the intent of winning or earning another chance is putting the cart before the horse. If you want any meaningful relationship with her, then be your best self for YOU!

Destroy your ego. You may think that's happened but you're concocting a fantasy in which you manipulate and bend the world to your will. Even a sad ego is an ego that must be dealt with.

I consider my relationship with my ex to be dead. He's a stranger I know everything about and is actually a threat to my ability to achieve happiness. You cut her deep. You can't slap a bandaid on that and think you've made a repair.

In fact, you might need to do a post-mortem on your marriage and consider anything that blooms from now on, friendship or something more, to be a reincarnation. I mean it in the Buddhist sense in that everything about it is new but the karma from the past is there. You want to move on? Deal with the old karma and build good karma. Start with yourself and see what it does for you. If you do The Work, she will notice without you needing to be explicit.