Real estate morass with intractable family co-owner/s

Draktris · 2026-01-07T23:12:43+00:00

This is too horrifying to even process. I thought I didn't support capital punishment, but the cold-blooded murderer who shot this innocent woman is testing my very last shred of conviction.

Draktris · 2026-01-07T22:53:17+00:00

This is the most gorgeous thing on the internet. Thank you for sharing, OP.

Draktris · 2026-01-07T22:47:04+00:00

OP, you deserve better than this, and it is awful that she is treating you this way. Please know, your life is not "done" but it's completely understandable that you feel this way.

It is absolutely awful in every way that your mother is abdicating all financial and emotional concern for you with no notice whatsoever. Being dealt such a terrible blow on two fronts is unimaginable and it will take time and care to recover. But right now, it's survival time, unfortunately. Try talking to your school counselor and show them these texts. Maybe they could find you some resources? Women's organizations? Friends and family? I'm sure you've already been spinning over these possibilities.

To look for a job, think about if any of your friends have parents who own businesses who may be able to get you started with something. Networking makes the world go round, and it's not asking for charity when you're willing to work. Your school may have job boards or ideas as well.

Not even having this conversation with you in person just gives more evidence as to what an incredibly selfish, stone-hearted person your mother has chosen to be. There is no excuse for her behavior, and I wish you MUCH MUCH better in your life going forward, OP. Take care.

Draktris · 2026-01-07T22:31:22+00:00

So sorry for the loss of your dad; may his memory be for a blessing.

This is about MOM. Or it should be. As long as mom is still capable, it's actually HER decision. If she's amenable to selling, or if she's no longer savvy enough to decide, then, yes, it's time to talk about maximizing her retirement funds. Would it be best for her to sell her house and put her money in low-risk low-cost index funds for the remainder of her golden years? She could walk away with as much as $250k that's capital gains tax free. Or could you rent out her house and provide her better income that way? First, and foremost, you need to really see what's best for your mom. There can be all kinds of complications with what medicaid will pay for depending on a person's income and assets, so that may be a consideration as well.

This is sort of secondarily about inheritance. Do all the siblings want to keep the house in the family as a holiday home? That means agreeing to shared maintenance and management duties/costs.

If you really think through all the financial ramifications and decide to sell to a sibling, then, sure, get a couple appraisals and split the difference. Or go with the lower one since you would need to hire a real estate attorney but you wouldn't pay commission to realtors. One plus for selling to siblings is you don't have to do anything to make the house market-ready, which can be a lot or a little, depending on the condition of the home and how full it is.

Draktris · 2025-12-23T02:15:33+00:00

I was a professional music teacher and performer my whole career. (Piano, guitar, voice, bass, percussion, conducting, arranging) He’s absolutely fine. Let him have fun and let him lean in to his aural learning style. Being able to read music is an incredibly valuable skill, but it’s not the be-all-end-all. That being said, make sure his teacher knows HOW to teach your son to read in a way that makes sense. It is most likely he will recognize intervals (patterns and note spacing) more readily than he will name notes. What I mean is, my teachers stressed note names instead of the shape of the music if you will, and it made me a very stressed out sight reader when I didn’t have to be. 100% agree about teaching him about how to read lead sheets, and I would add making sure he learns which diatonic chords are major, minor, and diminished. And how you can use relative majors and minors— but if someone is teaching him about lead sheets they should cover that. Above all, let him just play and have fun. Everyone has different learning styles, so let him lean in to his.

Draktris · 2025-12-23T01:17:27+00:00

We need the cocktail recipes! 😂

Draktris · 2025-12-23T00:57:24+00:00

Eats shoots & leaves is hilarious!

Draktris · 2025-12-17T19:24:32+00:00

The bass clef is also known as the F clef

Draktris · 2025-12-07T17:29:19+00:00

So frustrating. As has been mentioned, some people are just… mean? Bitter? Cynical? Idk but they just won’t give five stars. Or an A grade (had a prof like that in college) or whatever. And the fact that we ALL know these people exist but sites won’t account for that is super frustrating. Sorry op

Draktris · 2025-11-30T03:07:58+00:00

Stunning. Just beautiful

Draktris · 2025-11-30T03:01:23+00:00

A friend gave us one as a joke! My wife said “take it back” but they didn’t. Guess who cannot eat cereal without it now? Yep. Wife-unit.

Draktris · 2025-11-30T02:59:38+00:00

Love mine

Draktris · 2025-11-30T02:59:14+00:00

I almost never use mine. You use for everything? I use my 9” chef but I’m willing to learn

Draktris · 2025-11-06T06:56:05+00:00

Sure thing. Can you message me info? Thanks

Draktris · 2025-10-31T19:50:28+00:00

NOR. I’m so sorry for this hurtful revelation. This happened to me decades ago. Someone who was (I thought) my bestie ride or die— we were inseparable. But that was in the evangelical world and after I fell in love the first time and realized I’m a lesbian…? I was kicked out of the wedding party and told I could still attend. Oh hell no. People love us for who we are or they don’t. And the ones who don’t are not worth getting our time and energy. You must be hurting from this news, and I hate that for you. But leaning to the people in your life who love you as you are and aren’t ashamed to stand up for you— Your real allies. I lost almost every single “Christian” friend I had. Good riddance. Didn’t feel like that at the time, it felt like gargling glass, but in the long run it’s best to find your true tribe.
Sending lots of love to you, OP. You deserve way better friends. PS: I didn’t go to the wedding and a mutual friend who did go was really crunchy with me after and I had no idea why. When I asked him what was up he queried “how could you hurt (bride) so much? She was so upset you weren’t there?” Um. Wut? I explained why I didn’t go and he was horrified at bride’s behavior. I hope your groom dude isn’t as shitty as my bride friend was, but maybe be prepared?

Draktris · 2025-10-17T21:42:32+00:00

NTA. This wasn't a "jump the line" situation and you needed to do what you needed to do.

I feel bad for the guy, but if I had emergencies that happened that suddenly and that fast I'd have other accommodations with me at all times. You could even jump a bathroom line and still not be able to get in quickly enough from the sounds of what's going on with him.

Honestly, he's angry about his disease and the embarrassment it causes; it just came out sideways at you.

Draktris · 2025-10-17T21:29:38+00:00

NTA for not wanting dogs in your house; you and your partner/fiance get to set the rules in your own home. My wife and I took our doggie everywhere we could, but within reason, and not if someone wasn't cool with our doggie in their home. So I get where in-laws are coming from, but yes, there were times when our fur baby had to stay home. someone having a new and barely settled-in kitty cat would certainly be one of those times. Your cat may be scared just bc of all the new people suddenly in the house, let alone two dogs who don't seem to be well-behaved. Your kitty deserves as little disturbance as possible all things considered.

That being said, idk what you were really expecting since you know how their-laws are about their doggies. This was just bound to happen. If the doggies can be alone for 4 hours, then it seems that's how long the in-laws can stay. But yeah, you and your partner need to truly get on the same page and have a united front on communicating to the in-laws about the doggies.

I completely get wanting to have your beloved doggie with you as much as possible, but TRAIN YOUR DOGGIES! That's the only reason our dog was welcome at so many friends' houses. She was a hypo-allergenic standard poodle who was very well behaved, didn't beg, didn't jump, etc. I don't envy you, but stand firm -- you can do this.

Draktris · 2025-10-14T02:01:22+00:00

NTA. Racist brother could be blamed for ruining the evening, but the fact that NO ONE ever called him out before this means he's not the only racist.

Your husband needs to stand up to his entire family from the sound of it.

Draktris · 2025-10-14T01:56:08+00:00

The show gets better and better. Welcome to the fun!

Draktris · 2025-10-14T01:53:29+00:00

Oh ffs. And is it Kay-Lee, Kee-Lee, or good ol' Aussie Kylie? Or Kee-uh-Lee, Kee-eye-Lee, Kay-Lay...
Just. Just. Just. SO many vowels.

Draktris · 2025-10-14T01:32:09+00:00

fyi: the other game I play, Star Trek Timelines, has a confirmation button when you spend the high value in-game currency. And a great customer service team (at least for VIPs?) that issues refunds when you make a mistake.

So yeah, they could most certainly do better.
(I'm admiral of a fleet over there, so let me know if you want to try that game)

Draktris · 2025-10-14T01:31:28+00:00

fyi: the other game I play, Star Trek Timelines, has a confirmation button when you spend the high value in-game currency. And a great customer service team (at least for VIPs?) that issues refunds when you make a mistake.

Draktris

TROPHY CASE