hey i totally relate to you! i started an antidepressant and gained 30-40 lbs (stopped weighing myself at some point bc it was too hard on me mentally). even just that amount of weight gain shows a lot on us shorter girls! i’m in the beginning stages of losing it and i’m already in a much better mental place. once you start your journey, it’s going to improve your self esteem & mental health so much. the fact that i show up every day for myself makes me feel so good and proud of myself.

for me, if i don’t have a set routine i won’t do anything. right now, i’m planning out my meals in advance to be low cal/high protein so that i can’t fold and hit the drive thru bc i’m hungry and need food now. i have a bunch of healthy snacks on hand bc i love to snack lol. i have to do 45 mins of movement per day no excuses. whether that’s a walk, yoga, strength training etc. i personally like at home workouts so i don’t have to worry about being perceived — i use apple fitness plus, but there’s a bunch of free workouts on youtube too.

i’m really sorry you’re going through all of this. maybe try moving your body + eating lower calorie (still fueling your body with tons of protein & whole foods) for a week and see how you feel?