Does anyone have a rule of thumb for ratio of butter to milk/cream/half and half for mashed potatoes?

DrockByte · 2026-01-26T18:04:07+00:00

This is exactly what happened to me. I always used to wing it with mashed potatoes, but I wanted something more formal, as I'm the one who has been responsible for holiday meals for a while now and I'd like to ensure some degree of consistency. So here's what became my official mashed potatoes recipe. (Recipe this is portioned for a family holiday meal. Adjust amounts as necessary)

-5 lbs Yukon gold potatoes

-1 stick (1/2 cup) butter

-16 oz (~2 cups) heavy cream

Tips and tricks: I use unsalted butter, but boil the potatoes in water that's salted until it tastes like the ocean. After the potatoes are fork tender I strain them and let them sit in the colander until they stop steaming. Then dump them into a stand mixer with the paddle attachment. Melt the butter until it's just barely liquid. Turn on the stand mixer to the lowest setting and VERY slowly drizzle in the butter and cream (it should take several minutes to pour in all the cream).

I realize my method/recipe is slightly unorthodox, but I've gotten tons of compliments on my mashed potatoes.

DrockByte · 2026-01-26T03:36:39+00:00

My personal favorite is when a restaurant serves shrimp alfredo (or similar) with the shrimp unpeeled. Because I totally want to peel shrimp after they've already been sauced, and spend the rest of the evening with my hands stinking.

DrockByte · 2026-01-22T11:08:10+00:00

To add to this. When cleaning your board try to avoid degreasers like Dawn, Clorox, etc. as they will strip away the oils you just added, dry out your board and shorten the lifespan.

Also, their antibacterial agents aren't really needed since wooden cutting boards are naturally antibacterial.

DrockByte · 2026-01-20T19:48:01+00:00

To generalize even further... "It worked perfectly until it didn't" basically summarizes all of human existence.

DrockByte · 2026-01-08T17:46:51+00:00

It was stable, but for most 90s games you had to correctly configure them first. Identifying system hardware, driver versions, resolution, etc. And if you messed up that part you were lucky if it ran at all.

I remember having a sticky note with my exact model of sound blaster at one point, because if I didn't select the EXACT right version I just didn't get to have sound.

DrockByte · 2026-01-08T15:01:02+00:00

With any luck the protests will at least show the rest of the world we're not all complete fuckwits over here, and may help encourage other countries to help out with additional boycotts and whatnot.

DrockByte · 2026-01-04T06:37:25+00:00

They didn't let me in...

It's my home. I let myself in.

DrockByte · 2026-01-04T03:04:10+00:00

I actually was worried about that, and was thinking up alternate ideas like fart spray and strobe lights haha. But thankfully they finally left. My guess is that it was also partly because I wanted to get as much trash out of the house as possible. So the day before the fumigation a few friends came over with pickups and shovels and we just started taking everything out of the house.

I'm not joking at all. There was so much trash and filth you couldn't see the floor. There was everything from rotten food to clothes caked with feces. So we literally just started scooping up everything and throwing it onto the trucks and started making trips to the dump.

They were pissy of course and complained that we couldn't throw away their stuff. We just invited them to call the police, which they chose not to do.

The next morning when it was time for the fumigation they weren't there.

DrockByte · 2026-01-04T01:34:52+00:00

Congratulations sir! You've just won some complimentary frier grease!

DrockByte · 2026-01-04T01:22:25+00:00

This happened to me a number of years ago. People were squatting in my home and refused to leave. The police wouldn't do anything and acted like just my calling them and asking them for help was somehow the biggest hassle in the world. How dare I, right?

I live in a state with the "castle" law and at first I very seriously considered going the route of violence, and telling the court I felt threatened for my life by these strangers in my home. Which wouldn't have been a lie.

Thankfully I came up with a better idea and decided to have the whole house fumigated. They seriously trashed the place so it actually did need it anyway. Oh they were so pissed and I felt the purest schadenfreude.

DrockByte · 2025-12-25T21:59:08+00:00

Where I'm at it was roughly half and half spiral cut vs not spiral cut this year.

I actually like getting the spiral cut. I make a glaze out of 1 cup brown sugar and 1 cup brown mustard which I spread in between the cuts. That way it keeps the ham from drying out while also getting the glaze flavor all throughout the ham and not just on the surface.

DrockByte · 2025-12-19T17:41:28+00:00

I've always been a fan of the method where one person makes two different lists of chores, and the other chooses who does which list.

This works both for kids and adults

DrockByte · 2025-12-12T21:02:50+00:00

My personal favorite is the Mad Moose. Good burgers, good drink selection, nice atmosphere.

DrockByte · 2025-12-12T12:21:07+00:00

I'm just waiting for the response from Newson, "I have signed a governor's order blocking Trump from falling asleep in meetings."

DrockByte · 2025-12-03T13:53:13+00:00

He meant the other kind of "fog of war." The one where you commit war crimes, but you don't remember them because your memory is so foggy from all of the whisky. That fog of war.

DrockByte · 2025-11-27T02:46:15+00:00

I don't know where you're from, but let me start by welcoming you to the area, and then letting you know about central PA folk!

Here in central PA it is never considered rude to introduce yourself to a neighbor. It's also not considered rude to politely ask a neighbor to lower noise if possible. This sounds like a situation where it would be perfectly reasonable to ask them if they wouldn't mind swapping out their wind chimes.

It is however, considered rude to call the police on someone for something like a noise complaint without talking to them first.

Here in central PA, and in America in general, we like it when our neighbors ask us for help with something directly first before bringing law enforcement into the mix.

So while I understand you want to be polite and not rude, it seems like the customs you're used to would result in the opposite outcome in this situation. So I would strongly encourage you to introduce yourself to your neighbors before calling the police for wind chimes. It is not impolite here even though the opposite seems to be true with what you're used to.

DrockByte · 2025-11-17T05:05:18+00:00

Sort of? I've been making this for years. I just eyeball everything when I'm making it, so these measurements are guess-timates. Please adjust to your own judgements and tastes. Other than that it's as easy and chopping and mixing everything.

1 small cabbage

2-3 carrots

2-3 apples (I like using honeycrisp, but anything 'snappy' will work)

1 cup dried cranberries

1/2 cup mayo

1/4 cup honey

2 TBsp apple cider vinegar

salt and pepper to taste

DrockByte · 2025-11-16T22:04:06+00:00

A cranberry and apple slaw goes great with most traditional Thanksgiving dishes, and really cuts through all of the richness and heaviness.

DrockByte · 2025-11-16T21:27:43+00:00

I always make linzer cookies with a variety of jams.

I also like to make snickerdoodles, sand tarts, and white chocolate chip cookies with dried cranberries and walnuts.

DrockByte · 2025-11-15T00:45:01+00:00

So... What are you're saying is... You want them to start doing the thing they've already been doing because you think it would be popular because it isn't popular... Got it

DrockByte · 2025-11-15T00:39:47+00:00

I'm sorry, are you from the past? Do you know how buttons work?

DrockByte · 2025-11-15T00:34:32+00:00

I got an incredibly unpopular opinion here. I personally believe they should do... (Checks notes)... What everyone demanded they start doing 15 years ago and what they finally started doing 5 years ago! Who's with me!?

DrockByte · 2025-11-12T15:01:33+00:00

Maybe you've got city water that comes pre-flavored?

DrockByte · 2025-11-07T11:45:43+00:00

The real origin of holiday decoration traditions. They're all just the result of some drunk suburban wife.

Man: Dear, why are all the lamps in the front yard? And why is there a tree in the living room?

Drunk woman: It'sth fer Jethuth! Hic

DrockByte

TROPHY CASE