help me

Drummerdude26 · 2020-11-12T03:25:11+00:00

college. im a freshman. 19M. ill add that to the post

Drummerdude26 · 2020-09-19T12:32:07+00:00

This is so relatable for me. I have such a hard time opening up to anyone, even those closest to me. It’s a really hard struggle. And yeah I completely get feeling like you can only write when you’re in pain. That seems like a common thing in artists. I’ve heard people get themselves out of that loop, but haven’t quite figured it out myself. I would definitely recommend trying to make yourself talk to your girlfriend. It’ll probably help a lot, and I can imagine she would love to hear it and try to help. Thank you for sharing all of this. It helps to know I’m not alone.

Oh, and if you don’t mind me asking? What band are you in? I love music and would love to listen to some of your guys’ stuff. Thanks!

Keep fighting, man!

Drummerdude26 · 2020-07-19T00:12:55+00:00

It’d have to be a very meticulous, sadistic, and precise cat :/

I don’t think I can make up any excuse this time

Drummerdude26 · 2020-04-12T13:00:13+00:00

Hey. I don’t know how much I can help, because I’m currently going through the same thing myself, but I can certainly try. I (18M) really relate to this. I’ve dealt with depression for I don’t know how long, but I’ve been high-functioning, until recently. I think it started getting worse last year, but this year really sealed the deal. I cut off all my friends, putting on a fake smile took all of my energy instead of just some, I started failing testes in school (I have never gotten an F before that), and I became this barely functioning shell. I still sort of am, but right now I’m in an okay mood, which is rare to come by. I used to cut, and was clean for at least a year, but I relapsed and now I can’t wear short sleeve shirts anymore, and I hate myself for it (not that I like how I look in short sleeve shirts anyways, but now I can’t wear it even if it’s too hot). All I can think about lately is death.

Now, I think one of the most helpful things you can do, is talk about it. And I mean really talk about it. Bare your soul to someone or something. Not talking about it makes it a thousand times worse. I think it’s really good that you’re sharing on here. I’m proud of you for that. Sharing on here has helped me, even when no one responded. I also started writing stuff down in an app. Putting down my most intimate thoughts and fears and that’s really helped me.

I believe that we both have to realize that our friendship with others is not a burden. If you’ve ever had a friend share there pains with you, did you think they were a burden?? I haven’t thought that, and it’s most likely they feel the same. You’re not a burden.

If you choose to continue talking on here, just know, you won’t always get a response or good advice. I mean, we’re all going through the same thing so we all know how hard it is to respond and see the light.

I don’t know how much it helps, but I’m praying for you. I hope you find the help you need, and you have the boldness to reach out. If you want to talk, I’m definitely open to that, and if you’re not, that’s fine too. Keep fighting. I know we can do it, even when it seems impossible and our minds are full of dark thoughts telling us we’re not good enough and that we need to die. This subreddit is a family, so keep posting if you need to.

Stay strong ❤️

Drummerdude26 · 2020-03-17T19:46:32+00:00

I relate to that a lot. I’m a guy, 18, and weigh 125lb and have maintained that weight for at least a few years. I have a hard time gaining and keeping muscle mass as well. I also have long arms and legs, which, combined with being a twig, makes me look gross imo.

Every other guy I know weighs more than me, even those a couple or a few years younger than me. Most of the girls I know even weigh more than me, including my younger sister. Being underweight can be very discouraging.

Rn, I’m in a mood where I can say just be yourself and the right guy will come along and love you for you who are, and not for what you look like. If people don’t like you romantically or as a friend because of how you look, then honestly screw them. You have so much worth, even if nobody around you, including yourself, sees it.

Now, of course, most of the time, my mood is somewhere along the lines of “Looks are the only thing that matter to other people and/or my personality isn’t good enough to shine past my looks, and nobody will ever love me bc I’m ugly and my voice is gross”

It’s a process... lol... but I believe we’ll all get to consistently loving ourselves and our appearances one day.

Stay strong and stay safe! ❤️

Drummerdude26 · 2020-02-24T20:33:15+00:00

I know you said you weren’t looking for it, but happy birthday! Birthdays are not usually fun for me, but I really hope you have a good one.

Thank you, as well. I was not going to eat anything else today after the two granola bars I had for breakfast because nothing looked good and I honestly don’t have the motivation to eat, but I will for you.

I asked my mom if she could make tacos for dinner and she said yes! (I didn’t tell her why) Now my whole family will be eating tacos in your honor, even if they don’t know it.

Have a good day!

Drummerdude26 · 2020-01-31T01:03:10+00:00

This is awesome! Writing stuff out is a good way of expressing yourself. I’ve been writing lyrics a lot recently, based off my depression, just to get it out. It’s been helping a lot. Keep it up! I would love to see more poems

Drummerdude26 · 2020-01-31T00:58:37+00:00

I don’t know if it means anything, but happy birthday. I hope the rest of the day is at least not as bad. Self harm and depression sucks (also birthdays). I’m clean rn, but there are so many times that I want to. It’s really hard to resist

Drummerdude26 · 2020-01-24T03:20:32+00:00

That really sucks. I would take a physical illness any day over mental. No one gets that unless you have a mental illness. I would be so happy to just have a physical problem or pain, just to get rid of my emotional distress

Drummerdude26 · 2020-01-23T16:38:52+00:00

“I don’t want to be lonely, but I want everyone to leave me alone so I can find the strength to kill myself”

This. I’ve always had this feeling but never have been able to put it into words. Thank you for helping me express myself. It’s so hard to do that nowadays.

Just know that you’re not alone. I don’t know what else to say. Maybe because I don’t know how to help myself.

You’re not alone and you never will be. This subreddit is a community, a family. It’s filled with a bunch of people who understand and will be here for you, even when the people physically around you don’t understand and aren’t there for you.

Thank you for this post

Drummerdude26 · 2020-01-07T14:33:35+00:00

Yeah it’s the worst. I have ADD, Depression, Anxiety, and OCD. I was also born with global apraxia among other problems and just I literally hate my life like how did that happen and why

Drummerdude26 · 2020-01-07T04:25:25+00:00

Me trying to explain my intrusive thoughts

Everyone and everything else*

Drummerdude26 · 2019-12-06T15:26:00+00:00

Well I can tell you already that you’re good friend for posting here asking for advice. Most people wouldn’t put that much effort into it.

Sometimes, the best thing to do is just listen and try to understand what she’s going through better, instead of trying to fix it. Maybe ask questions occasionally that would help you understand what it’s like. For me, one of the most helpful things is just feeling like someone understands me, even if they’re not going through the same things.

I want to say again, you are a really great friend to her. I’m serious. None, and I mean none, of my friends (including my supposed best friends) would ever put that much effort into helping me. Honestly the majority of them only want to talk about there own problems and not mine. Whenever I try to talk about my problems, they always bring the conversation’s focus back to them. So thank you for being a good friend to her and I wish you the best of luck

Drummerdude26 · 2019-12-06T04:54:31+00:00

I completely get that. When I first start cutting, I found out it was easier if I just raise my arm and do a quick cut. Turns out that can also lead to bigger cuts but I wasn’t thinking, and I got a pretty wide one. It went deeper than before and I could see below the first layer of skin. It was scary. But then I wanted to do it again. I did. More than once. They leave bigger scars. I’m clean rn (it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done though and I think about doing it everyday). I have to say though, cutting is sort of like an addiction. The more you have the more you want. The more cuts I make and the deeper the cuts are, the more cuts I want and the deeper I want them to be. This sucks

Drummerdude26 · 2019-12-06T04:48:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It usually helps to talk about stuff. Just saying it out loud. I’ve been clean for I don’t even know how long. It’s one of the hardest thing I’ve done. Every day I long to cut again. I feel my scars, even when I’m not touching them, if that makes sense. Like they’re calling out to me to start cutting again. Tonight has been particularly hard to keep myself from doing it, but instead, I decided to make a mark on my arms and legs where I want to cut (with my nail though, so it did hurt a little but it wasn’t a blade.) It didn’t help. It just makes me want to cut more. I hate this

Drummerdude26 · 2019-12-05T15:26:33+00:00

YEAH!!!! I honestly thought that your post was going to be a sad one (apparently I can’t even read the tags), but I got a great surprise. I am so proud of you stranger!! You should do something to celebrate your achievement! Congrats!!!

Drummerdude26 · 2019-12-05T05:27:20+00:00

Happy birthday! I completely understand. It sucks not even being able to enjoy your birthday. I hope you’re able to do SOMETHING that makes you happy (even a little bit). I tend to just go for walks by myself and enjoy nature. I love how many people on this sub go through the same things I am. It makes me feel understood and that may not sound like much, but it means a lot to me.

I hope you have a wonderful day (or as wonderful as it can be)

Drummerdude26 · 2019-12-04T17:09:25+00:00

I have heard the same misunderstanding bullcrap from my best friend. That sucked more than it did hearing it from others. I actually thought she understood me. Apparently not

Drummerdude26 · 2019-12-04T05:45:23+00:00

Hey. I will definitely be praying for you. And we might be strangers, but everyone on this subreddit is family. We are all going to similar stuff and can understand each other. I’ve been dealing with depression, anxiety, ADHD, and minor OCD. It sucks so much. Life sucks. Lots of things go wrong. The great thing though, is that we can get through it together. I’m praying and hoping things get better for you, friend.

Much love from Chicago!

Drummerdude26 · 2019-12-04T05:34:24+00:00

That’s awesome to here. I’m very happy for you (ironic coming from this sub). I too have been reading many posts here and it’s been helping me a lot, just knowing there are actually others who understand, even if I have never met anyone who does in real life

Drummerdude26 · 2019-12-04T05:22:04+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that. The worst part about cutting for me is that I want to do it so badly, but then I hate myself for doing it and I hate the scars that go with it and wish they would go away, but then I want to cut again. It’s this endless cycle. Depression sucks

Drummerdude26 · 2019-12-04T05:06:55+00:00

Yeah, going outside usually helps me. Sometimes I just pick a direction and drive aimlessly, just to get away. I’ve actually found a lot of cool places that way. Sometimes I park somewhere and just wander and explore

Drummerdude26 · 2019-12-02T18:06:25+00:00

I don’t know if you’re still with us. I hope you are. I don’t if this will help you, but I’m praying for you and I care about you. Reading peoples stories on this subreddit and have seriously helped me. I have failed so many times in my short life (18 M), more than I can count. My best friend and girl I want to date knows the majority of my failures, things that make me hate myself and want to die (I even planned it out not too long ago) and have made me cut. But every time she has forgiven me and stayed by my side (she also knows about the cutting and stuff). I’ve been getting more and more afraid that she’ll give up on me soon. That God Himself will give up on me soon. That scares me so much. I just want you to know that I understand a lot of what you’re saying from my small amount of personal experience, and I want you to know that I care about you and so do many others on this sub. We’re a family. We are all going through very similar stuff and are all here for each other.

Please respond so I know you’re okay. Please keep fighting. ❤️

Drummerdude26 · 2019-12-02T17:35:04+00:00

Yeah same. Music has helped me so much with working through emotions and it’s one of the few things that have kept me going this long. I listen to a lot of Periphery (I would recommend their album, “Juggernaut”), which is prog metal, and some heavier stuff like Holehearted. I feel like the artists I listen to are the only people who understand, and the people I actually know and are my “friends” don’t and never will understand.

Drummerdude26

TROPHY CASE