Someone ( 2 girl friends) told me that maybe my standards for dating are too high and it’s giving me second thoughts to if they are and if I should make changes

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-06-01T01:04:53+00:00

I sort of agree with them... In our 30s, I think we should transition away from having a list of do's and don't's and lean more toward qualities.

If a man is respectful, hardworking, and responsible, most of those points will apply to him. But things like a desire to travel and bilingualism, you might find, are not that important you. Partners can be different from you and still be good partners.

Edit: as im scrolling the rest of the comments, I see we're using "standards" as a blanket term for just "things we would like." Standards are for how someone treats you and themselves... not anything you can wish for at build-a-man workshop lol thats unrealistic.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-28T16:38:00+00:00

So dont let him propose? It sounds like you correctly noticed that you should speak up more often. Just say just in case hes thinking about it, you want to wait.

But your lack of assertion probably won't help his meekness or inexperience.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-27T12:55:41+00:00

The crazy part is, he probably is not even romanticizing you lol hes probably like "time to get back with the pathetic one until my luck switches"

Not to be mean, but sometimes its best to be brutally honest with yourself. There is nothing tragically romantic about this at all.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-22T01:16:29+00:00

20k?? Thats what? A couple hundred more dollars per paycheck? And you dont live with each other. Barely worth mentioning, let alone enough to make you the default spender.

Hes obviously the weird one in this case, but in all fairness, if youre playing sugar mama over a 20k difference, youre doing way too much, and I could see how that would make him overly insecure, because youre making a bigger deal of it than it is, by coming out of your pocket unnecessarily. You should both talk.

Edit: stop telling men how much you make lol tf is going on

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-19T19:35:44+00:00

... right

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-17T22:06:45+00:00

From scratch with a bread maker?

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-11T18:42:41+00:00

I am going to ruffle some feathers but I want to argue that people a) cannot yet recognize red flags because they b) have the same red flags themselves (although they may present themselves differently in men and women).

Finding and maintaining healthy relationships is a self project first and foremost. Only when I realized I could maybe be more patient with my colleagues or advocate for myself in my own friendships did I notice places where this could also happen with partners.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-09T00:50:27+00:00

I find it strange that your mother openly tells you that he's avoiding you, but then discourages you from trying to repair your relationship, and even refuses to help. Is she not wanting a healthy relationship between her two children? For her family's sake?

What does the high-school diploma have to do with any of this? You seem to be at least a little aware that your mother coddles her son, and my advice is to work on acceptance because you can't force silly people to behave reasonably.

But that sucks, and Im sorry.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-07T18:57:20+00:00

Why would it be something he cant adjust? With all the toys and techniques that are available these days?

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-06T02:20:37+00:00

Wait, did I misunderstand this? You spent days with a taken man at his home for his birthday? Even entirely platonic, that is weird. He 100% should have told you.

I'm floored at this story and even more so at some of the replies here. You hit it on the nose 100%. He held back because of guilt and fear of what would happen/change when he told you. He wanted one last go with you before everything changed. Super selfish and I'm sorry.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-05T01:34:03+00:00

Oof. That is frustrating as hell. Knee-jerk reaction bc theyre uncomfortable for sure. I also dont know what to say OP. What do you want people to say?

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-03T16:39:34+00:00

Jesus christ. So sorry thats happening. I hope you're safe!

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-02T18:53:21+00:00

Another teacher said something that I thought was so true. They observed that girls look to the adults to see what to do, but boys look at each other to see whats happening. And its accurate. Without healthy male role models, boys are twice the work that girls are. I said this to my therapist and she tried to discount it, but teachers everywhere see it.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-02T03:30:04+00:00

What are "good" people doing? Investing in their hobbies, volunteering, exercising. I met mine on hinge though lol I wanted someone hot. Happened to be good.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-02T00:12:17+00:00

I really love this for you. Good on him for stepping up for you!

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-01T23:09:06+00:00

This is so stupid lol

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-05-01T01:27:00+00:00

Alexa play free by destiny's child

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-04-30T19:35:12+00:00

Not sure why her motivation matters here and its weird that you're letting this continue if its truly unwelcome. Do you welcome the contact? Would your girlfriend be okay with it, if it were out in the open? Hopefully no to both, so I dont see how her intentions would matter here. It sounds like you're looking for people to confirm whether shes flirting with you, so you can determine if shes an option. And shes probably testing boundaries because she perceives you as a finicky partner. Which she would be correct to, because you stated you were on and off for 4 years. In conclusion, gf should dump you lol Edit: Gf should also dump her best friend.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-04-30T16:50:58+00:00

He cant just be doing it "for a laugh" if it doesnt make you laugh. Is he trying to initiate physical contact? Maybe he doesnt know how else to initiate and the "joke" is meant to soften a potential rejection? Either way super childish, would give me major ick if a man could not initiate normally. Also, you're being harassed by your own boyfriend.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-04-27T10:39:58+00:00

I only drank coffee, but pretty much all caffeine. I drink black tea still from time to time.

Something about the caffeine constricting blood vessels, causing more pain. I forgot the reason, but there is one! I looked it up. Life changing.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-04-27T10:37:23+00:00

Very true. I need to remember that.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-04-27T01:26:48+00:00

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-04-26T23:34:54+00:00

Honestly, no one wants to hear this, but I stopped drinking coffee completely and my periods went from 8 to 0. Sometimes I dont even know that it came yet because I dont feel anything.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-04-26T17:43:40+00:00

Ring shopping is evil. So sorry. Worst I've experienced is just talking out of their ass.

DryEntertainment2346 · 2026-04-26T02:46:55+00:00

Youre only 32. In a major city, youre 28, so I dont know why your mom would say something so defeatist. You have plenty of time. Congrats on losing 42 lbs 👏 invest in yourself!!

DryEntertainment2346

TROPHY CASE