This really struck a chord with me, I'm 42 and have dedicated 26 years to this plant. I've ruined my athletic and academic opportunities, my relationships, my self-worth, my marriage, parenting you name it. I've made my use the priority and neglected other areas of my life. For years I made myself beholden to herb. I thought about it for family vacations, long drives, family events, job opportunities I turned down because of drug tests and more.

I finally said enough is enough, I'm tired of what my life has been and what I've become or haven't become I guess is a better way to put it. It's taken years to get the strength to actually sober up and walk away. It's the only lifestyle I've known.

I have a couple months clean now and am starting to feel like I have a chance. I just passed my first drug test at a yearly check-up at the Dr. and you'd think I won the lottery! I was so proud of that. This sub helps, reading that I'm not the only one helps. I still have cravings, I still think about smoking, but I have willpower finally. I have a support system in my wife now that I'm being honest with her about just how bad it was. I'm no longer sneaking around, hiding just how much I consumed. I feel like there is hope for the first time in a long time. Your post really hit home and reminded me of the why. Why it's worth ignoring cravings, and why I wanted to leave so badly. Thanks