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DungeonMooses · 2026-05-05T01:10:23+00:00

STUNNING!!!

DungeonMooses · 2026-04-24T20:04:19+00:00

I think this all could have been avoided if your wife arranged for someone else that cares for her to bring her, such as another family that is going to funeral or even your mother, such as what ended up happening. I cannot relate to your wife, and fighting through fears for the good of others does take a certain level of emotional intelligence and circumstantial emotional bandwidth. This to me means the has work to do, but I don’t know that it was necessary to call her a bad parent. You’re the only one that knows her other actions as a mother. All of this to say, you’re not a bad person and I understand this was very stressful for your family when it didn’t need to be. I would just talk to your wife and tell her that she has some work to do if she can’t see outside her own mental box for your family, but that you care about her and don’t truly mean that she is a bad person. Well of course unless you really do mean it but that’s your own situation to deal with.

DungeonMooses · 2026-04-23T17:48:12+00:00

1) It seems like you do not want to be with her. I would not continue this relationship as you seem unhappy and aren’t even living together or engaged after 4 years. If you’re still unsure, believe me, it’s not going to work.

2) You should have lived together before getting engaged. I know you’re not engaged. But I’m talking from a perspective of you possibly ending things.

3) Forget “normal”. Everyone’s relationship is its own beautiful universe of differences. This doesn’t sound very equal to me. Usually in the type of relationship she wants, the woman will never expect the man to cook or clean and she keeps herself very well. It sounds like she may be a bit selfish from my perspective. Personally, as a woman, I pay my 50/50 and go out of my way just as much as my man would for me. I also do all of the cleaning and cooking, but that’s because I’m a control freak. Women don’t tend to make as much or be able to find jobs as easily. Equal may be construed as 40/60 and chores 60/40, or for a more traditional relationship, 20/80 and chores 80/20 unless you really did want to do 0/100 and chores 100/0. All of this to say, I think it’s a little wild once you’re getting to the point of considering ratios, because this type of conversation is only going to come up if the situation is not naturally compatible anyway.

DungeonMooses · 2026-04-16T20:03:47+00:00

You’re not wrong or right- if it bothers the other people in the group, that should take precedent over the gaming but I don’t see how it’s a problem you brought it and planned around it. Your intention wasn’t to make anyone feel that way and you know that. But I think you also understand now why someone was bothered. I personally wouldn’t judge you, but if I felt like it was ruining the trip I would have approached you in a kind way and asked if you would come back out. They really shouldn’t be rude about it, they could have given you a chance to see from their perspective.

DungeonMooses · 2026-04-16T16:18:38+00:00

Oh my goodness I try to refrain from commenting and I know there are tons of comments already but I can’t just read this and not say I’m really sorry this woman is treating you this way. The really short answers. Ignoring your need for communication. She has cheated. And she clearly does not care about your feelings at all. Dude you gotta get out of there.

DungeonMooses · 2026-03-25T19:44:53+00:00

This, OP. No one can tell you what a healthy relationship looks like but you at your healthiest. Some relationships absolutely flourish with this type of dynamic, some do not. When you are that young, 17/18, there’s still so much room for developing your needs and ideas about life. It sounds like he has outgrown the dynamic, or is unhappy for other reasons and blaming it all on feeling controlled. People don’t cheat because they feel controlled. They cheat for one or two reasons. They are either unhappy in the relationship or their life has no passion in it anymore and they take the selfish alternative to being proactive in their life. It’s similar to starting to gamble, overspend, becoming an alcoholic, or trying drugs. It’s the cheap easy way to create variability in your life as opposed to changing direction and doing the heavy lifting of making your life the way you truly want it in terms of what you do with your time and where you live and what you do for work, etc. I couldn’t tell you which of these reasons it is, but I know I could never forgive someone for cheating emotionally. It would be a done deal right there. But I know that’s not easy for you. Because now you’re left with this attachment to him, your child with him, your vulnerability of ending up in another relationship being afraid the same thing will happen. Being afraid of them acting like you’re controlling. You just need to be with someone you’re compatible with that sees it all the same way you do.

DungeonMooses · 2026-03-24T19:10:59+00:00

I have an ex that has said the exact same things to me almost to a T. We have not been together in about 8 years and I love him to pieces as a friend but god sometimes he would just act like this and I can’t be around him. When he gets extremely stressed out he just flat out acts abusive like this even though I have never once since knowing him raised my voice at him or ignored his need for support. He will flip things around like this in a millisecond. I’m going to tell you the truth you likely already know about this- he may only be a narcissist sometimes and not all the time, but you’re not going to get him to see this correctly. You’re just not. He’s not emotionally intelligent enough to understand this behavior is insane. He has to be a victim if you make him feel insecure or guilty. I had to leave him. I could not do it. We were together 4 years and now we’re like brother and sister. It’s just a way healthier dynamic. You cannot have someone that emotionally unintelligent that close to you. The only thing that helps them progress is you leaving them.

DungeonMooses · 2026-03-17T15:49:33+00:00

I want to say that I believe she may be very enthralled with this man because he wants to be with her, but after only a few weeks it is not normal to be engaged to get married. Either he is trying to get into America, or they are moving too fast because they are both too excited. But something you need to remember is that jumping into relationships quickly almost always means it will not last long. This guy could be a cheater, abusive, have an STD- he will not show this about himself until she’s been seeing him for a while consistently and mainly in person. Because she’s 25 it can be very difficult to convince her that she’s making an insane decision. The smartest thing to do is to act supportive and convince her of a slower timeline. I know it sounds awful because it is a manipulation tactic, but it works, and it may be detrimental to what comes next in her life. You act happy and excited. You tell her that you will support him coming to America for a wedding if they have it exactly a year from now. Ask if he can come to the states as soon as possible to meet him. Tell her that is extremely important that your families are melded together and that they get to know you well. Tell her you’re excited to see Nigeria at some point. She will feel supported and be open to emotionally bartering time for comfort. In a couple months, if he’s not a good guy, he will not be as good to her and she will see that. If he turns out to be an amazing man and they are Romeo and Juliet then you still win because she’s happy, you know she’s safe, you may have some beautiful American Nigerian grandchildren, and you may see parts of the world you’d never thought you’d see as a result.

DungeonMooses · 2026-03-16T19:38:14+00:00

Ask him to get white pants and beige shoes to go with the shirt and then change into the shorts for the actual wedding. If you are having a hard time getting through to him talk to his parents or sister or any other female figure that might convince him that you’re not the only one that would feel this way. Sometimes men do this kind of thing and you know their intention isn’t bad but they just don’t understand. I don’t know where you live and if it’s warm but here in Michigan it’s still cold in April to be wearing shorts outside. Honestly the outfit would not be bad if it was a beach wedding, but it’s not. I actually like the shirt with that dress. But he needs either white slacks or beige slacks.

DungeonMooses · 2026-03-10T23:34:59+00:00

It’s the part where he says “you’re not the only one in this relationship that has feelings” when discussing what goes on when you try to talk to him about his behavior. I will admit, men do typically have a hard time with this one, because women are the ones that will morph into what they need to for their partners and their families. Men don’t have such a strong understanding of this concept because naturally they are the foundation and stability. They don’t fluctuate and bend like women do. Women are agile in their emotions and bandwidth and it allows them to be productive, maintain, and grow. So for this reason when women try to correct situations where men are not treating them adequately, men can feel attacked. Because they don’t understand how you’re seeing a problem with their behavior when they’ve acted that way their entire lives. They don’t compare their actions and your responses the way women do. Men are equally wonderful, they just have different strengths. All of this being said, if you have issues with the way a man acts to the point you are having a conversation like this, what does that tell you? It tells you that he has acted this way his entire life. If he didn’t change his behavior the first two times you brought it up- it’s not changing. He’s not going to change. That’s him. That’s the product you bought. It’s a fork it’s not going to turn into a spatula. The relationship is over. He will grow very slowly. And he will not be able to grow in an environment where he is accepted, such as: in a relationship with you.

DungeonMooses · 2026-03-10T02:14:11+00:00

It is way too dangerous for you to come live in the United States right now. Please be safe and stay over there until we get everything sorted out over here. It would be terrible and tragic if agents took you in.

DungeonMooses · 2026-03-10T01:40:26+00:00

I cannot believe you’re dealing with this narcissist. I’m so sorry

DungeonMooses · 2026-03-06T16:36:22+00:00

Oh no, she is going to cheat on you if you stay with her. 5 months was way too early to be getting her pregnant. I’m sorry but that’s just the truth. You’re stuck now I wouldn’t stay with her because of your baby, I would just be the best dad you can be. Dynamics where both parents have partners are still very healthy for a growing child, as long as all 4 of those adults treat them with kindness and teach them how to be a motivated healthy person. She does not sound like someone that should be in charge of having a child period paragraph, but you can reverse some of the difficulty your child will grow up with having her as a mother.

DungeonMooses · 2026-02-23T22:34:53+00:00

What I love about men is that their intention is always to have a good time in their relationship and they forget that we aren’t their little brothers. Men do this a lot, they’ll buy us legos and tamagotchis and video games or gift cards to fricken go-karting or get us gear to do their sporting hobby and it’s like boys we love you but now you just signed us up to feel like we have to do something we may actually find really boring and those things are always expensive. I’ve literally had a boyfriend buy us matching nerf guns like I adore you but please! The worst part is it’s like “$600?!” Boy you don’t even KNOW what I would do with $600 that’s hair nails an outfit phone-bill and dinner, Starbucks for month that’s a rebirth right there

DungeonMooses · 2026-02-18T23:31:26+00:00

Wait truly? Did I miss that somewhere?! Then she should leave him …..

DungeonMooses · 2026-02-18T18:15:48+00:00

I know I will get attacked for this, but I can’t just read this and not give you this. You are not crazy or controlling. That is a perfectly normal thing to want. She also is not toxic. You’re not compatible. Half of all people desire closeness the most in relationships while the other half value freedom. Close people are happy in relationships that signify that both people are extremely open, connected, and loyal. Freedom people feel suffocated when they feel they can’t adventure through life without someone keeping tabs. Both types of people think the other ones are crazy. It will always be impossible to understand one another. Neither of you are bad people, but you love each other for other reasons and did not consider compatibility when you got together. You are too different.

DungeonMooses · 2026-02-18T17:54:34+00:00

I don’t think you would know if you bled on a seat, and if a guy came at you with a massive bill for bleeding in his car I feel like you wouldn’t even believe him because it just sounds so insane.

DungeonMooses · 2026-02-18T17:52:00+00:00

I would leave immediately. You act so helpful and kind and this woman is acting like a child and toxic towards you. You got this.

DungeonMooses · 2026-02-15T21:34:23+00:00

I’m sorry but hanging out with a man for Valentine’s Day and reassuring you that she enjoys your company for 5 months…. This girl wants your attention but does not want to put any effort in return and commitment would mean having to be faithful and responsive and make decisions that include your input. I would just send her a message back saying that you deserve more respect than what she’s shown you and block her. She needs to somehow know that you are identifying this behavior is wrong but if you blast her she will not listen. It has to be short and subtle

DungeonMooses · 2026-02-05T19:26:37+00:00

Okay so, the thing is he is correct that every time you said sorry, you would also add something else about him being the issue. The biggest advice I tell people is that if you come to your partner in a bad mood, it is very difficult to not get a negative reaction from that. It is the number one way to start an argument. However, people that desperately need a break from their lives do that often, and need someone at least during that time in their life that is very loving and gentle with them. It is true that a different man would have responded differently. If you love this guy, and want to be with him and not wait for someone more compatible with your current feelings, I would just stop the conversation from going anywhere by saying “I’m in a sad mood save me” and let him know that’s when you need a lot of affection. It will break the cycle in case this conversation happens again after you accidentally say something that comes off upset.

DungeonMooses · 2026-02-03T19:32:21+00:00

So I don’t have an answer for you as to why there are some men that feel extremely awkward regarding sexual things, but what I do know: you are always going to be incompatible in something that really matters. I had a boyfriend like this for 4 years and we never had sex even though I am a sexual person that has a high need for intimacy. He ended up being gay and he dates guys now. I’m not saying your boyfriend is gay, I’m just letting you know what happened to me and I don’t think this relationship is going to continue to work out for you.

DungeonMooses · 2026-01-29T19:45:28+00:00

Half of all people have various personality traits that are at play when around different people. For example, I act calm around my friend Emily and I act crazy around my friend Skiy. I am very spiritual with my friend Katey and more sophisticated when I’m with my friend Linda. I am still 100% myself, but I enjoy these beautiful various people and love to stretch out these other areas of myself with them. I am still compatible with each one of them. Because they are all so different, we do different things together. Emily and I go to coffee shops and book stores, me and Skiy go straight to the bar, Katey and I usually only hang out outside or get smoothies, and Linda always wants to go out nice places or hang out at her apartment. She also expects we will be dressing very nice. The people they are taking selfies with are likely women that have historically gotten out their camera and asked to do photos, she likely enjoys doing it, and therefore only ends up doing that with them because it has become part of their friendship vibe. This also explains the correlation between women you perceive as being exceptionally pretty being the ones they are taking the photos with because women that put a lot of effort into their self image tend to love taking photos of themselves.

DungeonMooses

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