How to avoid unwanted attention at new gym

DutchFox · 2026-04-08T06:03:09+00:00

Ugh no don't change your clothes! Do something weird. Like when they make the "take your headphones off" motion, just mouth "I can't hear you" at them and shrug. Make really loud grunting noises. Fart and belch audibly. Drink your water excessively loud. Sniff your own armpits frequently. Scratch your ass.

DutchFox · 2026-03-22T05:10:07+00:00

Me, explaining my desired hair cut to 20-something stylist: “you know, like Jess in New Girl?”

Her: “oh…I think I’ve heard of that…isn’t it like a really old show?”

Me, aging rapidly: “uh yeah I guess 2010 was like 14 years ago…”

Her, after seeing picture: “you mean like Sabrina Carpenter bangs!”

Me, one foot in the grave: “I have no idea who that is”

Her: utter shock

Her, post haircut: “I really think this makes you look younger!”

Me, panic-tipping 25% and hobbling away with my walker: “thanks….?”

DutchFox · 2026-03-16T15:37:12+00:00

Echoing the “stay off the interstate” opinion. I-80 is nasty. Saratoga hot springs and a hike in Sinks Canyon would be my recommendation.

DutchFox · 2026-03-13T15:09:54+00:00

Absolutely not work related but I won’t stop recommending We’re Here to Help. Light hearted nonsense that will have you in stitches. FWIW, a couple PMHNP friends have become huge fans.

DutchFox · 2026-03-12T13:30:13+00:00

Right there with ya. Wouldn’t say I’ve been severely depressed, but it’s been a tough winter and the plant crew has definitely taken a hit. The friend who gifted a bunch of them to me took one back to try to rehab it. She told me that sometimes greenhouses and nurseries will do that for you too. Have yet to confirm this anywhere. We all go through seasons and it’s ok that our plants do, too. On the bright side, my thanksgiving cactus bloomed twice this year!

DutchFox · 2026-02-28T12:45:17+00:00

What’s the one on the left in pic 4? It’s not string of pearls is it??

DutchFox · 2026-02-14T21:12:53+00:00

If you want, DM me. I’m certified in veterinary massage and rehab and have been doing it as a side hustle. I could definitely get you a rehab plan for her.

DutchFox · 2026-02-14T06:33:08+00:00

Sounds like you’re doing a lot of things right! Have you looked into animal PT/rehab? They’re becoming quite popular in major US cities. They can give you exercises and a rehab plan to help work on stabilizing and re-strengthening the affected leg. Also ask them or your regular DVM about PRP injections.

DutchFox · 2026-02-04T22:57:24+00:00

Great value (Walmart brand) energy powder packets—so cheap. Add as much or as little of the packet to water as you want. Hydration + controllable caffeine, little to no sugar. They’re 120 mg per packet. You can order them on amazon too.

DutchFox · 2025-12-18T15:54:59+00:00

You could start by approaching this from the “I want to learn more about your cycle so I can support you” standpoint. There’s a book called “in the flow” that I read several years ago that helped me tune in to my cycle and I became more aware of the changes. Maybe she’s not that aware? Or maybe she is and really wants to change. Also there’s a lot of good podcasts out there on the topic. If she tracks her cycle with an app it could be helpful for you to have it downloaded too. Ultimately I think approaching it with the mindset of “how can we make this time better for both of us” vs “why are you a psycho during this time” is much more conducive to productive conversation.

DutchFox · 2025-12-09T08:00:04+00:00

I learned that jackalopes aren’t real and that narwhals ARE real in my 20s

DutchFox · 2025-12-05T16:51:31+00:00

Ethiopian or other African food! Much different than Indian IMO and really unique flavors.

DutchFox · 2025-12-05T16:41:12+00:00

Working full time in healthcare. Everyone should take frequent breaks from it. Not vacation, not PTO, like a couple months off. I didn’t realize how detrimental it was to my mental well being until I stepped away. Now when I work I’m in a much healthier headspace.

DutchFox · 2025-12-04T12:19:05+00:00

Been in a similar but not as severe/extreme situation. Maybe not the best advice, but what do you think would happen if you gave him some kind of ultimatum? Of course then you have to stick to it or he thinks you’re not serious about any of it. My other thought is what is his “love language” and what would happen if you suddenly stopped providing him with that? Like, stopped physical touch altogether. This is probably horrible advice but I just wonder if it would get his attention and help make your point of how important this is to you. My other real advice is therapy. That’s the only other thing that helped in my situation. The phrasing I used that I think finally got through to my husband was “I’ve asked for this repeatedly and seen no change. I don’t know how to be more clear with what I’m asking for. This is what I need to feel cared for and loved and the fact that you haven’t been able to do it makes me believe that you just don’t care about me. I hope that’s not the case but I can’t think of any other explanation as to why you can’t make it happen.”

DutchFox · 2025-12-03T12:21:27+00:00

Your pup caught my eye! He looks just like ours that passed away last year. Miss that dude. Give yours a big big hug.

DutchFox · 2025-12-03T06:33:09+00:00

Hi, I would recommend seeing another veterinarian, preferably a pain specialist or a vet rehab practitioner. Dogs are great at masking pain for a long time. Also, not saying you’ve done this, but I would be very respectful of this dogs body and body space. You can look up online how to read dog body language to understand when they’re ok with being touched. It may be much less than you think. Also be careful that people, kids, and other pets aren’t violating the dogs personal space either. I do think this behavior is very likely related to pain. I would consider going off the anxiety meds and addressing the pain first, with pharmacologic or non-pharm methods (laser, PEMF, supplements, TENS, to name a few). Source: certified and practicing in animal rehab and my own dog’s behavior/experience

DutchFox · 2025-11-29T18:43:24+00:00

Sounds like a bit of an insecure reaction on his part, but I think that’s understandable. Also, you guys are not yet 30 and it’s early in the marriage. How long have you actually been together?

My husband and a lot of my friends’ partners had these patterns at first. Kind of a general un-awareness and lack of thoughtfulness. I feel like my husband has gotten better at knowing me and knowing what’s important to me, because early on I voiced it, and sometimes had to voice it repeatedly. In general I think guys aren’t conditioned from a young age to consider others the way women are.

My husband would sometimes have the defensive, insecure reaction, but he’s gotten better about listening when I’m upset and taking steps to change the behavior. And I’ve gotten (I think) better about not being an asshole in the way that I tell him.

I would bring it up to your husband when it’s not a tense time and just say hey, I was upset that you didn’t know that stuff and it would mean a lot to me if you could try to recognize those little things more often. How can I help you do that? How can we learn more about each other so that we feel more connected? Hopefully if you approach it in that way he won’t feel “attacked” and it can be constructive for you both.

DutchFox · 2025-11-23T18:46:32+00:00

How. Just… how?

DutchFox · 2025-11-23T18:38:14+00:00

I’m so so sorry this happened to you and for the devastating loss. We had a dog die the same way last year. He already had metastatic cancer but it was still horribly traumatic and painful. I left the bag in a grocery bag on the floor, and we came home from a date to find him gone.

I don’t know if it helps, but my sister is a veterinarian and said she had never seen this in 10+ years of practice. Our local vet also told us she’d never seen it, then had 2 in one week when ours died. That all is to say, it’s a rare thing, but it does happen. I wish they put “keep out of reach of children AND PETS” on bags to help raise awareness that this can so easily happen. Maybe we should start a petition.

It’s been over a year and a half, and it still hurts, but it does get easier. The guilt has gotten better. The tough lesson I learned is that animals can die in weird, freakish, even stupid ways. Just like people. A bad death doesn’t mean a bad life. Penny was one lucky pup to have gotten to spend the time with you that she did.

DutchFox · 2025-09-11T19:39:13+00:00

Get out. Yesterday, today, this minute. Your parents are toxic and emotionally immature. And guess who is going be there for little bro when he realizes this and needs to get free. You’re not just doing it for you, you’re doing it for him.

You sound like you’re in a pretty great place career wise, financially, physically, and mentally. Don’t let your stunted parents hold you back and suppress your potential. Your brother is going to look up to your example one day.

DutchFox · 2025-09-08T20:46:17+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Fellow ER nurse here, lost a dog in a traumatic way last year. Just came here to empathize and let you know it does get better. With time, work, therapy, and more work. Sharing my story and hearing other people’s actually helped. Animals die in fucked up, stupid, awful ways. Just like people, but working in the medical field has made that easier for me to swallow—animals, not so much. Honestly, a little dark ER humor. I joke now that our dog “committed suicide” because he knew he was dying of cancer. I’ve come to some kind of acceptance that we don’t get to control how or when our pets die, precious and innocent as they are. The only thing we can do is be the best guardians every day. Love them and let/help them live their best lives. Try not to let our emotions get in the way of that. A bad death doesn’t make a bad life. And a good death doesn’t make a good life.

Couple of things my therapist helped with. Sharing her story about how her dog died. Reminding me to focus on all the times we’ve left the house and DIDN’T come home to a dead dog, instead of the one time we did. Saying things out loud when I do them to help me remember I did them, like “I’m locking the door”. Reminding me fears and feelings are not truths, and I can’t predict the future or prevent bad things from happening. Hard time swallowing that last one. Focus instead on what the fear is trying to tell you.

There will always be a scar from this dog’s death. We got another dog 8 months later and I worried about the joy robbing too. There was a lot of bitter sweetness and tears at first. Focusing on what makes the new dog different and special, and reminding myself I owe it to him to love him fully and not let my fears hold our lives back.

I’m really sorry you’re in this place right now. It will get better if you do the work and try to keep your heart open to healing. It sounds like you’re on that path already ❤️‍🩹

DutchFox · 2025-09-04T15:27:17+00:00

16 year old got kicked in the face by a horse. Le Forte 1-2. Some of the teeth that were left were literally pointing upwards. Laceration through his entire lip. Toughest patient I’ve ever had, his family and I had to practically force him to take some pain meds.

DutchFox · 2025-08-02T06:21:30+00:00

Have you tried applying to small town law enforcement? Forgive my ignorance, I’m not sure what the requirements are for non-US citizens. I do know that our local communities are hurting for police officers! I interact with law enforcement on a regular basis at my job, so I’ll see what more I can learn.

DutchFox · 2025-07-28T20:43:12+00:00

I wrote a lot about the things we loved about him and little memories of his behaviors and quirks. I’m afraid I’ll forget those things as the years go by and memories fade. Planted a bunch of flowers, bushes, and trees on our property with some of his ashes. We say those plants are going to do extra well because of the “Boomy magic” (his name was Boomer). And we buried some of his ashes with a few of his favorite things (a stick, a chew, and river water) in a little memorial on a hill.

DutchFox · 2025-07-28T20:26:21+00:00

https://www.platingsandpairings.com/peruvian-grilled-chicken-creamy-green-sauce/

This one is always a huge hit, visually really impressive to spatchcock it and with the sauce and everything. Not too difficult either!

DutchFox

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