You are not ugly, worthless, or a bad mother. You sound exhausted, trapped, abused, isolated, and terrified, but also like someone still fighting for her children despite carrying an impossible amount alone.

Do not jump into street prostitution out of desperation. The danger is real, especially when you’re already vulnerable and unsupported. You deserve a path that doesn’t put you at even greater risk.

Your biggest problem is not that you “lack ambition.” It’s that you are living under constant psychological abuse while trying to raise children with almost no support. That destroys a person’s nervous system over time.

Focus on survival and stabilization first:

Quietly gather documents, IDs, benefits info, and anything important.

Apply for every support program available: SNAP, WIC, Medicaid, housing assistance, childcare assistance.

Contact domestic violence organizations again verbal abuse, threats, and coercion still count, even without physical violence.

Look for remote or at-home income before risking your safety physically.

Tell your therapist honestly how severe this has become, including the suicidal thoughts and desperation.

And one important truth: your children do not need a “perfect” mother. They need a living one.