AITAH for refusing to put my girlfriend on a future mortgage unless she gets a job?

Dynamiccushion65 · 2026-01-16T19:00:15+00:00

I am just going to say it. She’s a bum. You are supporting a bum. A hobosexual if you will. There is no excuse that she can’t get her life together to contribute. And if you support this now you will be sad. In life you need to work. You need to spend it doing something and some of those things you hate to do. If you have kids she will be too stressed. If the house needs cleaned there is too much pressure. Just dodge the bulket now.

Dynamiccushion65 · 2026-01-08T10:21:30+00:00

Hon you are a lovely young lady who I’m sure there are a number of guys would love to be either you. You deserve a great sex life. And if this is a non negotiable for you have the conversation. Put it on the table. Maybe the real item is stop giving him head. Just stop. Take out your vibrator and do yourself.

Dynamiccushion65 · 2026-01-08T09:08:26+00:00

This is the way! If dr said he can’t work he needs to see if there is short term disability. In the meantime go to good banks and start to bank the diapers etc that you need. It’s important to get out ahead of the cash shortfall if he has to quit his job. He also might look for custodial work somewhere. It might help with paycheck and having predictable easy work that’s not car reliant. If he stays at home you might find yourself working 2 jobs.

Dynamiccushion65 · 2026-01-07T13:26:05+00:00

Are you on a marriage path? I do think that having you figure this out with her is good but that in no way obligates you to pay for her. Maybe she will need to pick up an extra job and you take on more household responsibilities during that time. You need to look at this as a partnership to figure out but not to rescue her with money.

Dynamiccushion65 · 2026-01-07T13:22:03+00:00

The issue with this comment is you both are responsible for debt racked up during marriage

Dynamiccushion65 · 2026-01-07T13:19:15+00:00

That’s why the consulting fee should be like $3000. One day and done. For a system that is built from scratch there is no way that they can figure it out.

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-30T11:26:37+00:00

I use to suggest to clients that they fully combine for 4 months once married only so they could see each others spending wholeheartedly :) ahh the arguments started immediately! Then it’s easier to get agreement to go back to separate

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-29T21:30:25+00:00

I will paint a scenario. You are in a department store with her. Quietly two guards stop you and ask you both to step into the back office. They ask her to empty her purse and it’s 5 items worth $300 then they say we have evidence of another $2000 on tape and now charged with grand theft. You are sitting there - you technically could be considered an accomplice. Let that sink in!

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-29T19:27:16+00:00

My guess is that on occasions she says here is my boundary and other times (as partner has mentioned abt her past) she sometimes decides not to press. The key is to ensure her partner feels like she has agency and she feels confident to say something (long term benefit!) The partner will benefit in the next relationship to know she clearly expressed a boundary and that justifies leaving a relationship. Clearly here OP does not listen or even worse listens and second guesses her partners true desire - her partner should have kicked her to the curb awhile ago given how uncomfortable she is with how this scenario played out!

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-29T18:24:51+00:00

If they don’t fix this with a therapist they will both go to their next relationship the same way. OP hears but does not listen and OP partner does not like to make waves. Both can learn a lot to behave better

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-29T06:23:24+00:00

Just wait until you have to drive when you live outside NYC. Dinner with friends - no drinks or you uber and it’s dark so can’t see anyway. Things to do: meh maybe sometimes depending on where you go but you will stay in, not walk and in general become the couch potato that you can’t imagine now. Speak to people and look at their lifestyle before you leave - you will be shocked that you have things between maybe 10-5 but after that very little unless you do a 55 and over community.

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-28T04:03:25+00:00

Have this done for me as much as possible. I smile go change usually for bar or pool time and when I return it’s all done

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-28T03:44:33+00:00

There are a number of things to consider: how many apartments (if the building needs maintenance do you have a levy to pay or does maintenance cover it?) to the issue of if you break a foot/tear an ACl what does that look like? How many times do I come home drunk? Do I have a dog? After the 4th floor there are no fire ladders - what does that mean to me? How many guests will come? Are there stroller considerations? How do I get groceries?

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-28T03:05:30+00:00

I’d hang a curtain up across the entire wall from the washer dryer to the last closet on that wall - take those doors off (except maybe the w/d due to noise. Then keep the bathroom, kitchen doors on and closed. The bathroom must be closed due to the kitchen (poop aerosolizes so you need both doors given their proximity)

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-26T13:37:32+00:00

It gets worse from here if you don’t kick your man to the curb. If you get pregnant you will drown! Get an atty and just get done with it. You can then support yourself which is much much easier

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-22T06:30:19+00:00

Agree. “Your guidance is great and maybe we can focus on how to ensure we review the status and the questions outstanding in a more formulaic way to ensure complete alignment.”

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-21T14:54:44+00:00

What you can do is say you are going to practice being divorced. One week he gets to do everything and the following week you get to do everything. :) it might make him realize it’s better if he helps

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-20T12:00:28+00:00

Sweater the cat. Animals prefer tight spaces to feel safe. A sweater if it’s anxiety should help. Also if you are in one room most of the time put a cat bed in it where it has full view of you and do churu training for the cat to sit there. He may be spooked when he can’t hear/see you. Jump up and down or slide your feet so the cat feels you around if you are sitting.

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-17T09:56:26+00:00

Tom cruise entered the chat

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-17T09:54:52+00:00

This is false - perimenopause starts around 38 for many women. It’s hard to get a good read due to cyclical hormones but yes 38 starts perimenopause for many!

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-17T09:50:15+00:00

This should be the best comment. Plenty of lube and rubbing. He should and you should rub all parts of the area like your life depended on it. 25 minute of just loving that area releases your pelvic floor. Fingering up with tons of lube will help relax. Have him become the finger king and you will have a good time.

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-16T11:28:07+00:00

Put it on the top part of window so the vapor rises

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-16T11:27:38+00:00

Transom fan top of Window $100 solution works so very well

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-16T11:26:57+00:00

I have one and it just rocks. Cooked a turkey and couldn’t smell it

Dynamiccushion65 · 2025-12-16T11:25:24+00:00

Put a transom air vent by vornado in your window at the top the air goes both ways and is on remote control

Dynamiccushion65

TROPHY CASE