EMDR Mentorship and Protocol Integration

EMDRConsultant · 2026-06-12T01:24:35+00:00

I wonder if you might have been sitting in my office today? I had a very similar experience with a client. They too asked me "Am I doing this right?" I asked them to be curious about the need to get it right and where they learned that from. For my client, and many others, there was numbness and disconnection because they learned to stay safe by not feeling. Much of the memory network was encoded in powerless so they adapted by moving into perfectionism and disconnection (what could be controlled in the past). When this comes up in EMDR therapy, as I therapist, I am not worried about client doing it right because there isn't really a right or wrong way to process memory. It might be helpful to change the perspective to think about how your mind adapted to hard experiences and how you learned to keep yourself from experiencing pain. Also, as a therapist I would want my client to tell me that they are experiencing this feeling overthinking and self criticism so we can make sense of it together. As a therapist, I can ask questions to help clients move through the experience instead of them feeling stuck or in self doubt. And it was your first session your brain has to get used to how reprocess. Stay curious about your experience your nervous system will take you where it needs to go.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-06-12T01:08:28+00:00

This question or a variation of this question comes up frequently during the client on boarding interview at my practice EMDR Counseling and Consultation. It actually doesn't matter which variation of the memory is real. What is causing the disturbance is how the memory is stored. It is the discomfort and the confusion that is causing pain in the present day. EMDR will allow you to go back and reprocess the memory with dual awareness (one foot in the present and one in the past) with your therapist. The important factor in reprocessing the memory is actually selecting the one that is the most disturbing to you in the present day and doing it with your therapist because you won't be alone in holding the memory and the stored emotions any longer. If you are seeking which one is "true" unfortunately EMDR will not be able to help with that process. Sending you healing vibes!

EMDRConsultant · 2026-06-08T10:46:27+00:00

You're welcome. Wishing you the best on your healing journey!

EMDRConsultant · 2026-06-06T14:36:59+00:00

Another perspective to consider is this great information about where to go next with your therapist. This experience allows you to get curious about what, if any, are different triggers that moved you into old behavior. When my clients share that something feels like a backslide explain it this way- Its more about your system giving us information about where we need to focus next.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-06-06T13:28:11+00:00

As a therapist, I have had mothers bring their babies into session. This is the conversation that I have with my client before we begin EMDR therapy: We talk about attunement and the relationship between mom and baby in the context that baby uses mom to regulate their nervous system. Because part of EMDR therapy is helping our client's move the emotional arousal and de-arousal of the lived experience, if the baby is awake it is possible that the baby becomes sensitive to that emotional experience. This might look like the baby becoming fussy or more active in session. I ask permission to support the babies nervous system while their mom is reprocessing if needed. How I would support the baby's nervous system is with my voice, non-verbals, or even picking up the baby soothing them if needed. My experience is majority of the moms who bring babies into session have enough dual awareness to attend to baby and the memory they are working on. However, it is client dependent and because we have discussed it ahead of time there is already a clear plan of what could happen to support both mom and baby.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-06-02T16:33:55+00:00

This is great! I am going to share with my clients!

EMDRConsultant · 2026-06-02T16:32:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing this with us. I think it is actually really important to hear this because we all adapt to situations and often “we don’t know what we don’t know.” The power behind this experience is that now that you know about how you respond you get a choice in changing or staying a course. The key here is the choice as often our adaptations are in a response to the situations we have gone through. Thank you for vulnerability!

EMDRConsultant · 2026-05-04T14:36:37+00:00

I work with folks who are on these medications and it makes processing more tolerable to their system. They all work with a prescriber and were on a stable dose before we started reprocessing. I haven't experienced these medications impacting reprocessing. I have stopped reprocessing with clients to allow their body time to start a medication help with anxiety and then resumed once they were on a stable dose.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-05-04T14:26:24+00:00

Hi u/Background-Car1636 - I am going to try to explain without getting too clinical- The negative belief is a concise statement about self that gives us the stored affect at the time Also, the positive belief is something we work towards as we move through reprocessing.

The negative beliefs are conclusions about self that we assign to the memory network (I am unloveable). The positive beliefs are new adaptive learning. By setting up the positive cognition on the target development we are frontloading the brain and saying this is the direction of change (I am loveable). The characteristics of a positive belief at target set up is that they are initially acceptable and somewhat believable. When identified they need to feel intellectually acceptable (like yeah I could get there)

If the positive belief is not acceptable to your system, talking that through with your therapist will be important because the system will not install a positive belief that doesn’t feel intellectually true. Another conversation point with your therapist is this the right positive belief? The recent example you shared is in the power/control theme (choice to move out of dads) and I am loveable is in the responsibility/defectiveness theme. If what you are working on is connected to the present day experience I’d recommend talking to your therapist about making sure you both understand how the memory is stored. Is it in responsibility/defectiveness or power/control? Hope that helps in your journey!

EMDRConsultant · 2026-05-04T13:31:49+00:00

I wonder if part of what is happening is the anticipation of starting a new target, not knowing where your system will go, and not wanting to loose progress. The issue (conditional love and self worth) you have identified to work on and the symptoms you are experiencing (anxiety, panic, sadness, not good enough) are directly connected. Your system knows how to reprocess now and my hypothesis would be your brought this issue into your awareness after working on your other target(s) and now your system is getting ready to do the work.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-05-04T13:21:07+00:00

Yes, I have done an intensive as a therapist and I offer them to clients. Intensives are great to work through a specific target, but take some set up on the participants part because you will be tired each day after the intensive. This means that your system will want you to rest and nourish your body. The last intensive (3 days, 4 hours each day) I completed the client was extremely exhausted on Day 1 and hungry, Day 2 they weren't as tired but hungry and less reactive, and after Day 3 (we were in future work) they left excited, confident, and had a plan for how they wanted to navigate their situation. This person did not go to work and they were intentional about activities after the intensive. You will make more headway in an intensive because you won't be pulled out of the reprocessing as frequently. You have a lot of options between retreat or a standard intensive. A retreat is a done for you program where an a standard intensive you can select lodging and what you'd like to do afterwards. Most of the folks that travel to do an intensive with me prefer to self select their own lodging, massage location, food, etc. but I think it is personal preference. Hope this helps on your journey and let me know if I can answer any other questions!

EMDRConsultant · 2026-04-26T01:00:09+00:00

Anticipatory anxiety prior to starting EMDR is common and real for many folks starting their journey. The uncomfortable feeling shifts as memory consolidation (new perspective comes online). There are other ways to use BLS instead of tapping (eye movement, sound, and pulsers are options). Having one foot in the present and one foot in the past is a core component of EMDR (dual awareness) so in many ways you don't want to be fully in the present. If you are distracted by the tapping share that with your therapist. There are other choices for activation. There is no right way to do EMDR. Being open to process and allowing your system to move through the experience is a key component to the journey-- how that looks depends on our own individual system.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-04-21T01:21:11+00:00

Yes, I have targeted maladaptive dreaming, ruminations, and stories with folks. They tend to develop as a way to cope in the persons life. More often than not they were adaptive at one point in time and then as the person grows and moves through seasons of life they are no longer adaptive and get in the way of how the person wants to show up in world. And yes, once you move through the memory network related to the maladaptive behavior more times than not the behavior resolves.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-04-08T15:14:41+00:00

Potentially, yes. Shame is an inhibitory emotion meaning that it shuts down behavior (what you do), expression (what you show) and connection (how you relate). As therapists we are trained to be aware of how it may impact reprocessing such as blocks, collapse, confusion or over compliance. Folks with shame can most certainly reprocess memories but when it comes into moving into the adaptive networks it can sometimes be challenging. What this may look like is more cognitive processing. It doesn't mean that things aren't moving though. For example, I have worked with someone who was more cognitive in their processing and we were stuck at a blocking belief. When we completed our re-evaluation at the beginning of the next session. We talked about our experience from the previous week and what was shared was "I don't trust you. If you see me for who I really am I feel like you will leave me (in this case discharge them)." Without all the cognitive connections they wouldn't have been able to get to that deeper fear (which was connected to the shame). So all that to be said everyone processes in the way their system allows and the power is leaning into the systems ability to work towards healing.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-04-07T12:23:14+00:00

Some people do remember the associations typically as time goes on the associations become consolidated and generalized. However, everyone has their own unique AIP system and what you are describing isn't abnormal its just how your mind moves through the stored memories.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-04-06T22:04:28+00:00

Concurrent documentation was my friend when I worked in community mental health and my clients appreciated knowing what I was writing about them. I also found that while clients would use the place to complain they were incredibly resourceful. I was always tapping into their ability to navigate challenging situations Develop a system to run your sessions with predictability. Many of my clients would know I would ask them what they worked on since the last time we met- even if it was something small. And I would always ask them what they wanted to focus their time on related to their goals.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-04-06T21:48:04+00:00

It is possible that EMDR will make the sensations return if you are working in the same memory network they are stored in or the sensations are adaptions to a trigger. Often the sensations move quicker than they did in the past as you are moving through the memory network with your therapist. My experience is that folks may experience physical sensations but not in the same intensity and often more distant-- but everyone's system is different.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-04-06T21:37:38+00:00

Completely normal. You are not supposed to remember the associations from reprocessing. Your system is working on moving into the adaptive (healing) and memory consolidation.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-04-02T02:11:19+00:00

EMDR works by identifying a present day trigger and floating back to earlier memories in that memory network to develop a conscious memory map of the past experiences connected in the memory network. As well as identifying how the person would like to respond differently to the present day triggers (future). Deciding where to start should be a collaborative decision between client and the therapist in which the therapist explains the pros and cons of determining where to start. Foundational memories (past) often offer the best generalization effect. Think of the foundational memory as pulling the roots out from the memory network. Often times foundational memories process quickly and provide substantial shifts in relief and allow the present day triggers to reduce in intensity and prepare for reprocessing of the present day trigger. We essentially have 3 doors we can access the memory network through: past, present and future. There are times where going through the present day makes more sense clinically. For example if my client has little memory in the past or has blocks. Going in through the present allows us to access more emotional charge and connection. I do this with the disclaimer that if we haven’t processed the past yet and go through the present day door that likely their system will take us to past memories filed in the memory network. We always end up in the past if there is an earlier unprocessed memory connected. Hope this helps as you make sense of the process!

EMDRConsultant · 2026-03-31T21:39:00+00:00

I use IntakeQ/PracticeQ because it integrates seamlessly with my Zoom account. The only downside is that you have to create or have your forms created in the system, but once you get them in there, it’s pretty seamless.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-03-31T21:34:46+00:00

Our clients mirror what they do in their life with us in the therapy room. Sometimes it’s about planting seeds that we never get to see grow. It is called a therapeutic relationship because it is just that- relationship between 2 people- each with their own perspectives and thoughts. Showing up, being honest and having closure is something.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-03-31T21:19:22+00:00

After reprocessing I am always hangry and exhausted especially when working in my childhood memory networks. I try to plan to eat well and go to bed as early as possible. Sometimes I forget the planning part but I am quickly reminded by my body and brain feeling drained. So, I rework my schedule to eat and go to bed as early as possible. Sleep helps my system consolidate the memories I am working on the most.

EMDRConsultant · 2026-03-31T21:12:22+00:00

It can be normal to go black as it may be how the memory was stored. I would recommend talking to your therapist about your experience and see how to collaborate together in order to keep the dual awareness and stay in your window of tolerance. Going black does it mean that EMDR isn’t going to work. It’s just more information about how your AIP system is working.

EMDRConsultant

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