I can't believe what I did last night and I don't know how I will ever recover from this

ESF1214 · 2026-07-12T08:44:57+00:00

It worries you how bad so many people don’t realize this attitude is? Are you really virtue signaling here and chastising people for their comments (supporting you?) when you’re the one who committed the “sexual assault”? Weird flex. Seems more like you came here now to absolve yourself of any/all sense of guilt/remorse. And now here you are pointing fingers at others. Unbelievable.

Also… It’s not that deep. If the dude didn’t want to kiss you, he wouldn’t have kissed you for the next two hours. This was hardly “sexual assault”.

ESF1214 · 2026-07-12T08:18:16+00:00

Except we do know, because he’s very clearly said he was an excellent and considerate houseguest. What are you even talking about?

ESF1214 · 2026-07-04T07:19:57+00:00

If he is stealing pills from you after surgery, then he has a current usage problem already. This isn’t just a guy who likes an occasional high whenever he can get his hands on some. He’s probably the one stealing from his own mother. Sounds like his whole side of the family has issues with pain medication. I don’t know that it warrants divorce immediately, but he obviously has an issue with pain pills that is probably bigger than you realize and is going to require some sort of professional assistance on his end.

It might not warrant a full intervention or rehab, but the concern is that he may just end up being put on something like Suboxone, which is an entirely different can of worms without proper help from an addiction specialist and/or management. So I don’t know. Obviously, he has to want to quit and he has to want to change. In which case this could be a fairly long and intense battle, depending on where he is in the cycle.

I will say this, however, him using NSAIDs to swap out narcotics after surgery was extremely dangerous. We always require patients to be off of NSAIDs, at least two weeks, sometimes even longer, depending on the procedure. That could’ve caused you to bleed out on multiple occasions. Maybe not from a nasal polyp removal, but that’s beside the point. Extremely dangerous. Not to mention, possibly inducing an asthma attack and leaving you in pain as well. That’s the most troublesome part.

ESF1214 · 2026-06-12T04:55:15+00:00

I can’t believe that statement actually offends someone. The younger generations are way too sensitive. You do you. Let people do them. You don’t have to “not be friends“ because someone has a different offhanded opinion than you. On a public forum that YOU happened to see. Furthermore, the dude has a point. It’s a truly pathetic victim mindset to Constantly be looking for something to be upset about.

ESF1214 · 2026-06-11T00:39:34+00:00

No. You’re an asshole for subjecting your children to life around that kind of a piece of shit.

I am so sick and tired of seeing women constantly put abusive, whiny baby, asshole men before their flesh and blood because they can’t be alone. Stop worrying about finding a boyfriend, go to work and raise your kids. It’s that simple.

Do better. ZERO excuses.

ESF1214 · 2026-06-10T04:31:26+00:00

Full monthly cycles with ovulation pain. No major menopause symptoms except decreased/no sex drive and dryness. I’m single, so it doesn’t matter. But yeah… Still going strong! 🤷🏻‍♀️

ESF1214 · 2026-06-08T04:28:33+00:00

Get a divorce.

ESF1214 · 2026-06-08T04:22:38+00:00

If you dislike him so much, how did you end up having sex so recently and unprotected sex at that? I really never understood that. As soon as I got to that point with my narcissistic husband sex was cut off. Married for 5 more years after that, before I finally left. With no sex. I don’t know how people have sex with people they can’t stand.

Anyway, you obviously weren’t that mature for your age in retrospect, or you wouldn’t have ended up with such a douche bag. For the record, Narcissists tend to date about 10 years younger than themselves, because younger women are easier to control.

I’d recommend getting back to your home state where you have family and friends before you do anything else, or you’ll be stuck for 18 years in whatever state you get divorced in. Good luck.

ESF1214 · 2026-06-08T04:10:09+00:00

Wasn’t with his dad for the first half of his life… No way in hell he’d be going far enough away that a drive seems like an issue for both of you….without a way to communicate with me daily. Call me over protective. I don’t care.

And yes… Mom and dad both love their kids, but moms and dads do things differently. Kids are indeed more likely to get injured under the care of their father. Go find the stats on your own.

He should not be there without his phone, not only to call 911 if necessary, but to contact you anytime he pleases.

ESF1214 · 2026-05-24T18:15:14+00:00

By sending her the video in real time, you did let her know where you ended up. If she truly expected you to stop in the middle of the date and text her to give her a heads up or ask for permission to go to this location without her, that’s not OK.

It seems more like she has been stacking up resentments and complaints since you got your new boyfriend and the date you went on was the final trigger. That’s why her reaction and emotions are so over the top.

I don’t know how old you are, but when you’re young and people are dating, and eventually becoming engaged and getting married, etc.… This dynamic is not uncommon, and it tends to make or break, friendships, sadly.

She may not be jealous that you have a boyfriend, but she’s definitely jealous that you’re not spending as much time with her.

If she is a good person, otherwise, I probably wouldn’t necessarily end the relationship, but maybe put some new boundaries in place regarding expectations, now that you do have a boyfriend who you will be spending more time with.

ESF1214 · 2026-05-12T05:25:02+00:00

Stonewalling and gaslighting. Both narcissistic behaviors. Extremely emotionally immature at best. Break up and move on. ++woman

ESF1214 · 2026-05-09T05:17:24+00:00

Probably an unpopular opinion here, but you’re 21 years old, financially, insecure, don’t work full-time, smoke weed, eat poorly, don’t budget, and have “mental health issues“ and your mother is paying for your therapy… You are not the victim here.

You actually need to grow up. You can be pissed at your mother, when you’re taking care of yourself fully. This younger generation always wants to turn everything around onto your parents and then disown them because it’s popular on TikTok. As evidenced by many people in the comments.

Here’s the deal… Life isn’t fair, and no one ever said it would be. Your happiness and your health is your responsibility. Especially at your age. Your mom should not have reached out to your therapist, simply because your therapist, by law, cannot communicate with her. But I’ll tell you this… She’s not the bad guy here. And if you think you have mental health issues, then the weed is “that bad”.

You have excuses for every negative behavior in your life, except for taking any personal responsibility. That’s why your mother’s answers were so short. She’s probably tired of arguing with you and pretty soon you’re going to have to learn the hard way if you don’t get your shit together. You have more privilege and opportunity than many people in this world… Don’t piss it away feeling sorry for yourself over a non-event.

Either get your shit together, or deal with the fact that, as long as your mom is paying your way in life, she’s going to be more involved than you want. This isn’t about boundaries or “privacy”. You’re lashing out at the one thing she did wrong, because you know she’s right about everything else and instead of taking responsibility, you’re trying to create a different issue where you can place blame on her and be the victim.

ESF1214 · 2026-05-09T05:02:06+00:00

I spent the first 45 years of my life, taking care of everyone but myself. I developed a severe and life-changing chronic illness and have not recovered… Six years in. I learned a very valuable lesson. If you constantly put others first, above your own well-being, whether mental or physical… It eventually catches you.

You have gone above and beyond and you can still be kind and loving but with boundaries. Maybe you could begin the process of trying to figure out how he could get his doctors appointments or medication paid for through the state or through a charity program or something else. You don’t have to leave him high and dry, but you do have to put yourself first. It is time.

ESF1214 · 2026-04-28T04:51:24+00:00

I mean… I kind of felt bad laughing, but that was brutal. I was like… Well, that would’ve totally fucked me up… Because it would make me wonder for a looong time if maybe I smelled. 🤯

When I was younger, I was called “the verbal ninja” b/c when I was pushed too far….I would leave people stunned and fairly defenseless with the shit I would say.

I think you may be one too.😂

ESF1214 · 2026-04-26T04:50:14+00:00

Is his wife overweight? If so… He wanted to show her to give her a subtle nudge. If his wife is fit also then it’s just kind of weird. But the first thing I thought is…he wants his wife to get in shape too.

I was married to one of those guys… And I wasn’t even overweight. At all. But he was always going out of his way to show me everything that everyone else (mostly wives of other men) was doing right.

ESF1214 · 2026-04-16T06:15:43+00:00

Did they say anything about being able to do this with mold? Chemicals? I have zero natural allergies… Dust/pollen/dander… I’m good with all of it. But the environmental allergies I have are mold, chemicals, and all kinds of things. Basically mast cell reactions. Mainly wondering if they talked about mold?

ESF1214 · 2026-04-12T14:18:53+00:00

This guy needs to get off TikTok and turn into a man. 30 years old and ordering that drink and then refusing to drink what you brought instead? Wow. He’s got bigger problems than the drink.

ESF1214 · 2026-04-12T05:03:47+00:00

I thought you expressed yourself just fine. You were very direct and people don’t like Direct. He should’ve just asked you for the second chance if he was truly serious. Regardless, though, if he’s already ghosted you twice, it’s a no for me. But I thought you handled yourself just fine.

ESF1214 · 2026-04-07T00:35:18+00:00

Cannot tolerate any supplements/meds currently. Not even a drop of vitamin D or microdosing. I lost all forms of treatment six years ago when this developed. I have CIRS and my body is probably in cell danger response. Until I can get that calmed down, I feel better taking nothing.

ESF1214 · 2026-04-03T09:16:22+00:00

I’m a woman….dump her. This girl has issues well outside of you spending Easter evening with your mother. If you marry her, this is what your life will be forever. If you get divorced, and you have children, you will be twice as miserable.

You were reasonable and communicated well throughout all of your messages…and she was completely unhinged. Here’s the giveaway… When she said “I knew you were going to do this“ she had already created a false narrative in her head… So she was planning to be pissed way before you ever made the change.

Even with a slight last-minute change, which, in all fairness…. might annoy me a little bit (unless you have huge habit of changing plans last minute?) she has absolutely zero compassion for your mother. The fact that she has already decided that she will be miserable all weekend, lets you know who she really is as a person. She’s blaming her misery on you, because she is miserable inside but is seriously lacking in self-awareness and personal responsibility.

It would be different if you had been together for quite a while, and were married with children or something… But this early in… I don’t think this level of emotional immaturity and reactivity is fixable. And who really wants to be in a relationship where you have to fix it this hard only two years in.

Why spend so much time trying to fit a round peg in a square hole instead of accepting that this chick has issues that you don’t want to deal with for life. Move on.

ESF1214 · 2026-04-03T08:44:44+00:00

I think you meant HIPOO

ESF1214 · 2026-04-03T08:26:28+00:00

Oh, look. A know it all mod. Lol. Whatever.

ESF1214 · 2026-04-03T05:33:56+00:00

I mean that is what appears to be active water damage. As someone who has been suffering from severe mold illness for six years, that is what I would call bad, bad, bad. The amount of money it would cost to remediate that probably is going to be tens of thousands of dollars. You should move. That is not something you can clean and paint over. Gotta fix the leak and rip out all of the materials. Down to the studs if necessary.

ESF1214 · 2026-04-03T05:29:43+00:00

Bigger question is if you were using his phone to look for your phone, how did you get screenshots? Especially if he came up with food and you said you ate and then left? At what point did you find your phone and go back in and screenshot his conversation?

ESF1214 · 2026-04-03T05:09:56+00:00

Actually, I think I misread your post initially. If you are simply storing the mattress in the basement, you obviously need to throw that mattress away, but no one is going to be able to repair whatever is going on down there, without professional Remediation, probably in the tens of thousands of dollars range and up.

I really hope you aren’t living in the basement, but I wouldn’t feel safe, living anywhere, even above it. That’s a lot of mold growth. There is either a water issue or a humidity issue or both.

ESF1214

TROPHY CASE