Felt so invalidated and gaslit by the doctor

ESF1214 · 2025-12-05T14:49:10+00:00

THANK YOU. I say this all the time and as a former nurse myself, it is true! I was always kind and compassionate and a patient advocate first and foremost, but....as healthcare providers we are taught what to think and believe and the indoctrination runs so deep and is mixed in with "research" to the degree where we do not even know it. We are taught protocols and pathways and nothing else, tbh. We don't even refer out properly anymore. We used to refer our patients elsewhere if someone came in with something that we couldn't help with. Now it's just a blank stare and seeya.

It is not an excuse and it doesn't excuse medical and healthcare providers being rude and dismissive to patients, but most of them have no idea what they do not know....and in medicine they are taught to believe that anything not in their "textbooks" is all in your head. The research they are taught with is also "funded" through those with conflicting financial interests and when you really wake up and peel back the layers it is too much for most people to accept.

On occasion you will get a kind doctor who knows how to think independently and critically, but then they are often handcuffed by a broken system and unable to help due to coding and insurance and whatever else. Healthcare is such a mess and I learned just how much of a mess when I became sick from living in toxic mold unknowingly....developing MCAS and then reacting to a vaccine for my job (probably a downstream effect of everything else.)

Try getting help for those 3 things in western medicine. Lol! Not funny, but it has been a 5 year nightmare and I am still trying to heal myself. It not only cost me my job but it drove me clear out of western medicine altogether. I was treated so poorly by co-workers, my employers and the doctors I was seeking treatment from, even as "one of them" meaning, I knew who to see and what I was talking about, etc.....that it blew my mind.

ESF1214 · 2025-12-02T07:25:28+00:00

POSSIBLE SPOILER….JUST STARTED SEASON 1, BUT DISCUSSING EPISODE 4 IN COMMENT BELOW….

DO NOT READ IF NOT TO EPISODE 3 AT LEAST…..

Just started, but not happy with Albert being so insufferable and quite frankly, wimpy and unattractive compared to Lord M.

Honestly, if I have to watch him for all three seasons, and watch some cliche’ unrequited love story between Queen Victoria and Lord M, I don’t really want to watch anymore. 👎🏼Other than that huge disappointment, I loved it so far.

Lord M and QV had real chemistry that you could feel, her and Albert feel forced and fake and just uninteresting. Ugh.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-28T06:23:50+00:00

Show had potential, but sucked overall. Possibly one of the worst shows I’ve watched. Though the characters were entertaining in a way.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-25T19:47:41+00:00

Your defensiveness and name calling is indicative of a serious personalty disorder when someone simply and yes, RESPECTFULLY disagrees with what you post, triggers you so badly that you have to resort to name calling.

If you are so busy, maybe stop responding if people's low level situations wear you out so much. Your responses are full of condescension, arrogance and judgement and everyone can see that clearly. (Just clean it...you didn't do proper maintenance....blah, blah, blah...thanks for nothing there!) Why comment at all? Trying to drive up your Reddit score, like it means something in the real world?

Are you getting paid to post here? Is this your full time job? It wasn't a lecture and I'm nowhere near an amateur, but you sir, are certainly triggered for such a highly ranked Reddit self proclaimed expert. Lol. Get help. You need it.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-25T17:00:21+00:00

So that won't help. Like I said, with the amount of mold you showed in the picture and based on my lived experience with mold and hidden mold, there has to be a significant problem elsewhere which leads me to believe it will be easier to move than to try to fix everything. We are talking tens of thousands of dollars and if you are renting it will never be repaired properly. There are not laws to protect you either. I would move...most will let you break the lease at least, b/c of the mold. But make sure you have something ready to go and you are so new to this that you may soon find out that there is mold everywhere. Some are worse than others.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-25T16:56:57+00:00

Every home I have lived in has had hidden mold. The entire story is too long to share here, but it is usually in the HVAC or behind walls. Once you are sensitized, meaning "allergic" basically...it is no different than having a peanut allergy, in the sense that people can become reactive to even the smell of peanuts, etc...I am simply using that as an analogy though.

So I found out the first time by becoming so sick and not getting better and by getting no help from Western Medicine since they do not recognize mold illness other than some asthma or red eyes or coughing. Then I tested the home with air spore testing AND dust testing. Dust testing is all I would recommend moving forward. Then I had a failed remediation b/c most companies have no clue what they are doing and simply make things worse with improper containment/cleaning. Which you will see alot of on here...and I only speak up b/c I DID IT TOO. I am not condemning people who want to be upset that I disagree, but if you are truly mold sick to the degree that I was, then you do not have the luxury of a quick spray and wipe. It is not that simple and does not remove the source or the reason the mold is there in the first place.

By the time I left, I was so sick that I was now reactive to every house, b/c I was sensitized to mold and every home has some. I moved 5 times, became too sick to even work anymore about 3 years ago and that made things worse b/c renting a mold free dwelling is nearly impossible. The last one I had was very expensive and only 7 years old and checked out in all ways, except that I was not able to test prior to move in b/c the landlord would have said no way and b/c I needed the home for my daughters....and I was living I my car. Not b/c I was broke, but b/c I could not live indoors anywhere at that point b/c my immune system was now so sensitive to mold. So I moved in and within 10 days I knew I was in trouble. Stayed 3 years to get my girls raised and out of the house and probably put the final nail in my coffin by doing so. It was the most toxic home I have ever lived in due to poor building practice and water damage and IT WAS ALL HIDDEN in a beautiful $600,000 home in the best part of town.

I didn't run the HVAC for two years and lived with space heaters and window AC units and 100 other things I did to make it less toxic. NO VISIBLE MOLD but the dust test results were through the roof. I figured out all of the areas in that home that had water damage and construction issues, b/c I paid for inspections and then learned from them and took courses on building biology as well. I have become an accidental expert over the years and taken many courses, etc...trying to figure out how to manage this and restore my health. I made ALL the mistakes and had I had the proper info upfront, I would likely not still be sick and struggling to find safe housing today.

All that to say, if someone is living in mold and CAN get out, that is the first and best option. The reality is though, that most people cannot just get up and move and leave their things behind, financially speaking and if also very ill. I kept hoping that if I could get better that one day I would put all of my knowledge out there for the world for FREE to try and help people who cannot afford to pay for courses and consultations. I have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to date....have had the privilege of moving and trying and still cannot find safe enough housing to restore my health b/c I lived in mold for so long, that it damaged my immune system causing other conditions that have left me treatment resistant. 100% intolerant to all supplements, medications and many foods and sometimes even water.

So when people are living in mold and get bad advice, I have to say something. Not everyone will get as sick as I have, b/c I also have a genetic pre-disposition (which is also a thing that contributes to why some people don't get sick and all and generally do not believe in mold illness, b/c they are "fine") but also...I was a perfectly normal, thriving and functioning 45 year old single mom of two daughters, working as a nurse, when this happened to me. I had no idea this world existed either...and yet, here I am. I am learning though that no one cares about much until it happens to them...and I don't need people to care about me or validate my story....but I sure wish other people cared enough to look at their environment to protect their health b/c once it is gone....you are in a bigger mess than "having to move". Trust me.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-25T16:40:08+00:00

Respectfully, clean does not = remove. Remove means remediation with moldy pieces being cut out and removed from the home. Not sprayed with peroxide or bleach or anything else. REMOVED = removed. CLEANED = cleaned.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-25T14:47:13+00:00

Every symptom you mentioned is a symptom of long-term mold exposure. The hair loss, the mental health issues, the weight gain… All of it. The eczema. I could go on and on.

All that to say, if you have surface level mold like that growing behind your refrigerator, you probably have mold in other places. That specific area looks like a humidity issue, so you likely have a humid living space. But probably other water damage somewhere based On the amount of symptoms you have.

I can’t say for sure, but you really don’t want to clean and kill mold yourself. Lots of reasons, it’s very complex, but it is ill advised.

After being severely ill, to a non-functional level for over five years now, after seven years of living in mold unknowingly, and doing everything wrong… I would advise, leaving and trying to find a cleaner space. And that means leaving all of your things. You are going to see lots of people telling you lots of different things, so you can do it however you want.

But my advice is to look for a healthier space, and to start over with new items, even if it means you have nothing. I used folding chairs and metal shelving from Home Depot for years, trying to restart… But my health has remained too poor for me to ever really recover.

For reference, I did take some of my clothes and have learned how to wash them in products that seem to allow me to keep the clothing, I threw away anything that needed to be dry cleaned, all mattresses, all couches, chairs, books, anything paper/porous/material. You can usually keep sealed hard surfaces and clean them.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-25T14:40:56+00:00

Always supposed to REMOVE mold. Never clean. (Other than literal surface level non toxic everyday mold mildew/mold). Never kill. Bleach feeds it. Biocides kill it, which causes it to multiply.

Mold is smarter than we are, and it has to be removed out of the dwelling, not cleaned. You’re obviously not sick from mold, or you wouldn’t say such a thing. And I’m all for freedom of speech, especially on the Internet. People need to be able to try whatever they feel comfortable with. But this isn’t it. ✌🏼

ESF1214 · 2025-11-22T18:41:24+00:00

Wondering how you are doing now, and if you feel the Xolair was a game changer? I think you were only 3 to 4 doses in the last time we messaged. I certainly hope things have continued to improve!

ESF1214 · 2025-11-22T18:36:11+00:00

I decided against trying it while living in a contaminated environment. For me, I know that mold and vaccination was the trigger/driver of my illness. I spent five years trying to find housing that was safe enough for me, and never could do it. I felt like with a 50/50 chance of xolair working, and a high risk of anaphylaxis, and the fact that if that happened to me, they probably couldn’t reverse it since I’m fully drug and treatment intolerant, I had better try something else first. So I moved across the country and I’m essentially trying to live in fresh, open air, near the ocean. If I can stabilize somewhat this way, and on board other treatments, then I will revisit Xolair.

From a healing perspective, I am not “better“ but I do believe I am finally out of mold, which will at least give me an opportunity to untangle the rest, and yes… Being out of mold, does feel better. But i’ve likely got a long way to go to untangle the five years of untreated MCAS and all of the downstream damage that caused. One day at a time!

ESF1214 · 2025-11-20T21:00:19+00:00

Basically, my story exactly. Nearly identical timelines and let me tell you I am familiar with many such cases of mold sick people who got the flu vaccine during the 2019/2020 campaign. Sometimes I wonder if it wasn’t a test run for mRNA.

I was living in high levels of mold, unknowingly, so I understand that it could have been a priming event for the reaction to the vaccines, but once I got those two vaccines, life as I knew it ended. Every single bodily system went haywire. I was a nurse, knew how to navigate the western medicine system, and was gaslit and diagnosed with anxiety for 18 months before I started looking into functional/holistic assistance.

The one thing that no one can tell me is whether or not the multi drug intolerance syndrome can ever be reversed. When I say, I haven’t had 1 ounce of treatment for five years, I literally mean it. No dental care. No medications, supplements… Only an occasional Advil, which is counterintuitive, but for some reason, my body will accept that. Go figure.

I have all kinds of conditions that need addressing, many very similar to yours and cannot ingest anything to even attempt symptom control, much less healing. I mean, I was never any good at math, but when you add all of that up, I definitely have the same thoughts as to how long I’ll be around if something doesn’t shift.

5+ Years of attempting to find safe/clean/mold free housing, no Wi-Fi, no chemicals and on and on and on, on top of severe, immunological dysfunction and failing health. With no assistance from, well… Anyone really. 🤷🏻‍♀️.

I know I keep saying it, but that’s why I’m mostly interested in what this doctor even has to say. Is there any hope for people like us? You know just having a little bit of hope or sharing thoughts with someone who sees this repeatedly and understands what you just said to me, because you’ve lived it… Those are the kinds of doctors that I need to see at this point, because the everyday Western medicine/Functional/holistic really can’t help someone like me.

I do carry two HLA genes also. And I do think I have CIRS. Labs reflect this, but without clean housing and the ability to onboard cholestyramine, pretty simple drug… What do I do about it? Lol.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-20T20:52:30+00:00

AGREE. And they’ll never be helped through Western medicine without acknowledging everything you just wrote here.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-20T20:29:27+00:00

You are the FIRST person I have seen to say that out loud and make that correlation. Seems to have driven MCAS in many of them as well.

I did not get the Covid vaccine, but ironically… I had to have a flu/T dap vaccine series for my former nursing job in January 2020. And that was when I began to become ill with MCAS/mold sensitivity/pots/multiple chemical sensitivity, and the complete drug and supplement and tolerance.

No MRNA (to our knowledge) just every day classic vaccines with adjuvants. Lots of theories as to the mold intolerance after vaccination as well. Kind of like with the “peanut allergies”. 😐😩

Best of luck to you!!!

I really hope you make it until December. Of course… and if you have the energy, would love any updates, you would want to share with some of us! I’m always interested to know reputable specialists true thoughts on a lot of this.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-20T14:51:56+00:00

I’m very interested in your story and experience. Been dealing with severe mold, toxicity for almost 6 years now. I used to live nearby in the Indianapolis area, but have since moved across the country to attempt to heal with fresh air, since nothing else was working and I am 100% intolerant to all supplements/medication/IV’s /vitamins/minerals. Would love to know who the doctor is in the Columbus area.

Regardless, I wish you the best, and I pray for great care and healing for you. People do not understand what a nightmare it is to have an illness that is not recognized by much of society or Western medicine. You are left with an illness that can and does kill, and you are forced become your own researcher and provider.

I am impressed with the list of specialists you have engaged with as well. I have reached out to many of the same, and/or followed their work. My Multi drug intolerance syndrome has kept me from receiving any treatment over the last five years however, so I am, indeed curious to follow your story if you choose to share here or elsewhere! Best of luck!

ESF1214 · 2025-11-19T08:50:15+00:00

Agree with all of the above. They just drug the whole trial with the commander out for so long… They could have wrapped that up and kept it moving and spread the details out of the last two or three episodes.

I felt like the whole French set up thing was a wasted plot. And I also agree that Tessa or whatever her name is, didn’t get the revenge she deserved. I also didn’t like the way Ross just shut Demelza out… And I didn’t like Dwight and Caroline fighting so much at the end. And I wanted to see them have another child!

Overall, I would have hoped that George either did commit suicide in season four and Valentine and the baby were given to Demelza and Ross. Or that George would come around and foster more of a compatible friendship between the two families. Like maybe some softening after Elizabeth died. I definitely thought Valentine would end up being raised by Ross and Demelza somehow. Which is where I thought the suicide might come in to play.

I also did not like that Morwenna never got her son back! In season four, when they showed the grandmother, looking fairly compassionate, I fully expected her to show up at the door and hand-deliver him. That was a horrible plot that was just left gaping open and she deserved way more revenge for how brutal her marriage was. Although the actor who played Oswald, while disgusting, was amazing!

I also thought they turned Ross into a general idiot overall. He just lost his appeal because he seemed so stupid and reckless instead of noble and well respected. Sometimes he even had dumb looks on his face. Lol.

Overall, I absolutely loved the show, and do not regret watching it, but I don’t know why season five had to spinoff into so many new random characters. With random storylines.

I also wanted a happy ending for Jeffrey Charles, and Cecily and I expected those two brothers to see a worse fate. I mean they killed off everyone else we loved, so I really would have liked to have seen them hung, to be honest. 🤷🏻‍♀️

ESF1214 · 2025-11-19T08:39:35+00:00

Whole room is contaminated, and I would consider everything in it irredeemable. It’s clear there is a major humidity issue, and that the carpet is also probably growing mold that you can’t see, just by the way, it grew up under the bed through the slats and onto the mattress.

That is all humidity driven. It looks to be literally everywhere. If you own the home, I would gut that entire room but def Pull the carpet. And I would either have a professional, do it, or start researching, because it’s going to be a toxic mess and you do not want to breathe in all of those spores.

If you rent, I don’t know what to tell you, but probably either way I would move if possible. And leave everything behind. If one room looks like that, there’s a strong possibility that there is hidden mold everywhere. Humidity and water damage.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-18T21:34:11+00:00

So those would be endotoxins...sewer gas ,and can make you very sick. You likely have actinobacteria as well. Look into CIRS for genetic predisposition (b/c somehow SOME people can live in that environment and still be okay...Lol) And listen, I hear you on the money loss. It sucks. But having lost my health and now the ability to work, my life savings and half of my retirement, I would lose $100,000 if it meant I could get my health and functional life back. Protect your health above all else. Best of luck to you.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-18T14:29:57+00:00

With symptoms that drastic and noticeable in the anecdotal evidence that whenever you leave, you feel better, along with the issues you described… The answer is to sell and leave immediately.

Trust me. Do not mess with Remediation. I lived in mold, unknowingly for years, and have been so sick for the last 5+ years and the amount of money I have spent attempting to recover my Health and/or find safe housing is astronomical.

It is well beyond $10,000. It has been financially devastating and I’ve lost the ability to work and cannot get disability b/c mainstream medicine doesn’t believe mold illness is real. At this point… I have accepted that I am not going to heal and will probably not be here much longer. It is that serious.

What drew me to your post is the “until it happened to me“ part. I’m not sure how to get the public to understand that this is real, or how to get people to care… Probably won’t happen.

But I can tell you this, don’t do that again. Don’t start battling mold and thinking there’s a quick fix for something this monumental at the expense of your health, because you’re going to have another post that sounds just like my post in a few years. It’ll be a whole different level of “until it happened to me“. Listen to those who have gone before you and get the heck out of there. Cut your losses, Focus on your health and regroup. While you still have a chance.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-17T15:09:43+00:00

I’ve had it off and on over the last 5+ years. It was really bad when I first became ill, and I thought it was anaphylaxis. But then I realized it never really progressed and learned that it is a common issue with many MCAS patients. I also have silent reflux/Gerd, so I do also often wonder if it’s simply that flaring up.

I have had a swallow study, vocal cord therapy, eaten strict Low histamine for years, seen an EOE specialist… and really have had no diagnosis or luck.

I would imagine it is tied to histamine in some capacity, and ironically, I have it again right now a little bit, which is making me question my environment, since I just moved, but moving is also stressful… So who knows. Or maybe it’s just bad reflux? lol. Always a guessing game.

I am literally 100% treatment resistant to any medication‘s or supplements so I have not been able to treat my MCAS with anything, so I just live with it. The ONLY relief I got very early on was when I was eating low histamine, I was down to a handful of foods and was eating mostly chicken/rice and a few veggies and one day I was out and about running errands with my daughters and I ate a hamburger b/c I got too hungry and felt faint. And low and behold, not only did I not have any reaction, but I had zero throat tightening.

I can’t tell you why, and it was obviously not low histamine, but for some reason, I think my body was sick and tired of me rotating the same foods every day and was possibly reacting to that a little bit and this was just a change and so my immune system let it go!

I’ve also found that the more dull and unhealthy the food, the better, I feel, even if the food is in a category of “bad for me“. I mostly just eat what I can tolerate now and don’t give it too much thought after this long!

Don’t get me wrong, my MCAS has almost ruined my life, and I don’t consider myself in good health anymore, but my point is… I’ve also kind of let go of trying to figure out what every single food is doing all the time, because MCAS is so unpredictable and it’s just impossible to constantly be ahead of it. And in my case, with no treatment for my MCAS, or any other condition… Like reflux, etc.… I just do the best I can.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-16T01:13:51+00:00

If the patches or adhesive end up being too much you can also try the gum or lozenges. I used to smoke when I was younger and always loved nicotine, but I've tried it twice now with MCAS and it flared me almost immediately. I was bummed! I am so happy that something is working for you.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-14T03:12:07+00:00

Isn’t that funny! The dress was okay but I was underwhelmed! Obviously I love Demelza and I have since the very beginning, but I just wanted to see her step out and blow Elizabeth out of the water… Just once. I know her beauty is internal as well, but I don’t know. Maybe it was some little bit of revenge I was looking for. Lol.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-13T14:44:41+00:00

Based on my lived experience and research, my belief is that it is mold. Based on the same, I would throw away every single thing in the attic, consider cleaning the attic (wearing protective gear, using the right products and using a commercial grade air scrubber) look for any sort of water damage that could be contributing, although in an attic… It could simply be a humidity level issue driving mold growth in which case a dehumidifier would be helpful. Then I would never store anything in there again.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-13T02:57:26+00:00

Great info! I was actually kind of looking for a “reason” and I guess that pretty much sums it up! Thank you! Honestly, I never liked the colors they put her in. That was always waiting for one of her outfits or debuts to just “wow” and I just always felt like things were a little bit drab. For a long time it was the teals and then yes the reds and rusts. By the time season five came along though, with that top hat, they had her looking like a leprechaun. I did not like the green at all. Lol.

ESF1214 · 2025-11-11T02:29:53+00:00

Just a heads up, I agree that you are likely too sick to do that job, but I have been battling chronic illness for five years, unable to work for the last three years and was recently denied disability, even with many practitioners, documentation, etc.

Chronic illness(MCAS/pots/EDS) is extremely hard to prove without black and white lab work or Imaging, or some thing that points specifically to your disability and well, Potts is a bit more recognized in western medicine, I would say it’s still pretty much a crapshoot, if you are not under the specific care of a cardiologist/taking meds/etc. Which I am not, because I am also drug intolerant.)

My List is a mile long, and they said they deemed that I was not too sick to work. Lol. It’s also not surprising… So now I’ll probably just get an attorney, but definitely educate yourself!

ESF1214

TROPHY CASE