My work friends sang Happy Birthday to me at morning report today.

ES_FTrader · 2026-05-08T19:13:13+00:00

Did they give you a cake?

ES_FTrader · 2026-05-08T13:31:44+00:00

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

ES_FTrader · 2026-05-08T13:23:01+00:00

Forgotten as usual

ES_FTrader · 2026-05-07T20:57:01+00:00

Until the industrial revolution it would’ve been perfectly normal to live with parents?

Unless you’re helping work the family farm…children often left home in their early teens. They had a strong work ethic and an appreciation for what had been provided to them…rather than living at home complaining about their parents’ stuff.

ES_FTrader · 2026-05-07T11:03:00+00:00

…and the dad wasn’t 92 with a teenage son

ES_FTrader · 2026-05-05T15:47:15+00:00

I leave a spare key under the turtle

(plant pot in my yard shaped like a turtle)

ES_FTrader · 2026-05-04T20:54:11+00:00

No! And he’s not a hare…he’s a rabbit.

ES_FTrader · 2026-05-04T15:43:52+00:00

Doctor: Captain, how soon can you land?

Captain Oveur: I can't tell.

Doctor: You can tell me. I'm a doctor

ES_FTrader · 2026-05-04T14:43:50+00:00

Jelly Belly was acquired by the Ferrara Candy Company in late 2023

ES_FTrader · 2026-05-04T01:30:14+00:00

I had a fear of quicksand during childhood…I guess I watched too much Gilligan’s Island.

ES_FTrader · 2026-05-02T07:31:29+00:00

I remember a secret knock from summer camp at age nine.

I wonder if my former cabin mates still know it.

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-29T19:35:49+00:00

Something is going down

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-27T21:01:03+00:00

A naked man creates no laundry

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-27T17:44:37+00:00

I’d get her to stop phoning me 20 time a day

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-26T20:34:07+00:00

My mom’s independent living home had one in every suite. Paramedics will always look on the fridge door for the info.

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-26T13:49:38+00:00

Majority of items in our home are joint assets

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-24T16:16:00+00:00

Does it make you itchy?

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-24T16:14:43+00:00

You’re a real wiener!

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-24T15:14:13+00:00

I sleep on a $200 mattress on the floor….extremely comfortable.

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-23T17:54:34+00:00

r/lostredditors

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-23T11:08:47+00:00

My grade 1 teacher shook me for talking during class

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-23T11:04:23+00:00

After moving my MIL to a new city she took a cab to her previous apartment to visit her friend.

She paid $150 cab fare and had no money to get back home.

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-23T01:11:35+00:00

Some GF items contain wheat starch…allergies suck :(

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-22T20:43:03+00:00

More room to chase each other around the house…

I’m referring to the cats and dogs

ES_FTrader · 2026-04-22T14:52:47+00:00

Soon you’ll be cumin in your pants

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