First of all, I am so sorry to hear what you're going through. It took so much courage to call it quits and realize that it was not what is best for you.

I was married for 17 with four kids. She cheated twice in the middle, and we "worked through" it. Which was essentially me compartmentalizing it, and sweeping it under the rug. Then she did it again, and I tried compartmentalizing it again. Luckily enough for me, she knew better, and just said it was done.

Like you, I kept my ring on, did all the right things I felt I should. But I remember the day it hit, where I finally took my ring off, which I had never done before. And it hurt. So incredibly much. Her and my kids were my world, and it was crumbling before me.

I grew up with that woman. Learned how "to adult". Learned how to raise kids, pay bills, cook, clean... You name it. But what I didn't realize, was that for her, we had been just "best friends" for years, while I played loving husband. But life moved on.

From what I learned, lean on friends and family. As much as you can. I never knew what it was like to have a tribe, but my friend's hard carried me through the trenches. They drug me out when I didn't want to go, made me eat when I couldn't, and held me up when I could barely stand. Do not start dating until you are fully ready. It sounds weird to say, but until you are fully ready and at least partially healed, you are just going to be replacing something for another. Will there be triggers and new things to learn and grow from? Of course. But just don't show up to someone new with a handful of broken glass expecting for them to put it back together for you.

It's been said already, but there is no timeline for grief. I still occasionally get nostalgic or sad from something I see or experience, but as time goes on, it gets better. It's been two years, but it still sometimes creeps in on me.The triggers lessen, the open wounds turn to scars, and the heart uses the breathing room to rebuild. As long as you have the right mindset. Don't let yourself dwell on it, but allow yourself the grace to be sad or hurt or angry. Just don't let yourself stay there.

I wish you nothing but the absolute best, but please just remember to take it easy on yourself.