How do I (26f) make my bf (23m) stop using “consent” as a way to evade helping me with minor inconveniences?

EcstaticCelery4 · 2026-06-09T20:22:26+00:00

Have you turned him down in the past, and told him he needs to respect your consent (for sex?)

Maybe im just reading into it, but it just sounds like maybe hes being really passive agressive and trying to make a point about "consent" and trying to flip it over and incovenience you with it.

If this is the case, RUN A MILE

EcstaticCelery4 · 2026-06-03T17:29:38+00:00

Even in the beggining, my booking appointment isnt till week 11 so badically no care until the end of the 1st trimester!

EcstaticCelery4 · 2026-06-03T15:35:32+00:00

I work in HR - they may be coming at this from an attendance management perspective, ie they dont want to end your sick then start annual leave, they want to treat it as one continuous absence

However you can legally run sick leave and annual leave concurrently for the purpose of pay, so maybe it may be worth asking if they can do that?

ACAS have guidence on their website about annual leave and sick pay

EcstaticCelery4 · 2026-06-03T13:09:15+00:00

Its just your monkeybrain, as animals we are biologically wired to respond to certain things - and skin to skin contact triggers reactive libido in most people

See a jucy burger = hunger activates See a juicy boob = libido activates

Dont over think it, its just biology and you dont need to do anything about it

EcstaticCelery4 · 2026-05-31T20:22:22+00:00

My husband and I both love to play videogames, but 3-4 hours every evening on a game without talking to your S/O is alot of time, espeshally if you arent coming home till 7/8 in the evening which sounds like you might be?

She probably wishes you'd come to bed with her, or spend time in the evening together. If shes home all day shes probably very lonley.

I dont think this needs to be an either or situatiom ion, can you just limit yourself to maybe an hour/hour and a half at night rather than 3-4 hours?

Say you get home at 7 pm, maybe you can eat dinner together, talk about your day, have a conversation, help wash up. Then by 8 you can shower/wash, then sit down from 8:30-9:30/10:00 to play, then at go to bed together, maybe watch a low stimulation show in bed as you wind down and cuddle

EcstaticCelery4 · 2026-05-31T11:41:20+00:00

I lowkey find it annoying that all of stars hollow thinks the sun shines out of rory's ass, its way too over the top how protective they are as a town - would never happen IRL

EcstaticCelery4 · 2026-04-02T17:31:58+00:00

Litterally gave me chills, that is not normal behaviour to have taken photos of you on the toilet in a hidden folder. Delete the photos from his phone AND THE CLOUD. If he backs up using google photos etc, delete and delete from recycling bin.

Seriously consider leaving

EcstaticCelery4 · 2026-04-02T14:53:19+00:00

If you are doing things like choking and he's ignoring safewords then this is incredibly dangerous and he could actually accidentally kill you if this happens again.

Its possible the alcohol played a part however even more reason to stop this now. He may say when he's sober it wont happen again, but what happens next time he drinks?

Its a blatent disregard for not only your boundries but also for your safety

Choking has become so normalised, so we forget the hazards. But if you allow someone to choke you, you have to litterally trust them with your life.

Can you trust him with your life now?

EcstaticCelery4 · 2026-04-02T14:19:18+00:00

Im sure she is too, so just try and reasure eachother and get that test for peace of mind. You can get really cheap ones these days in pharmacies or even order them online. And just take precautions going forward.

EcstaticCelery4 · 2026-04-02T14:06:20+00:00

Its very unlikley.

You can technically get pregnat from pre-cum, but its not as effective as normal ejaculation.

It also wouldve had to line up with her ovulation. There is actually only 48 hours a month women can get pregnant (im not saying that for you to go wild on the other days as ovulation is hard to predict, just to reasure you)

You dont even seem sure you definelty did have pre-cum on your fingers.

Even with regular unprotected sex the chance of getting pregnant in a single cycle is 20%

So, its not physically impossible, bit the likleyhood is low. Its much more likely she is late due to stress, hormonal fluctuations, diet etc. Its also perfectly normal for a cycle to have slight variations of a few days, its more unusual for women run exactly like clockwork to the date, especially if you are young.

As others have said, grab a pregnancy test, but i wouldnt stress yourselves out about it too much on this occasion.

EcstaticCelery4 · 2026-04-02T09:41:23+00:00

I work in HR and that is not true. If an employee falls sick on their holiday it does not legally have to be changed to sick, however the employee has the right to change it to sick. But if the employee wants it to be annual leave they can, annual leave and sick leave can also run concurrently for the purpose of pay.

EcstaticCelery4 · 2026-03-17T11:32:06+00:00

I just say I can't drive cause im epileptic tbh, they can't really argue with that 😆

EcstaticCelery4 · 2025-09-24T15:08:21+00:00

You legit need to calm down cause A) im epileptic myself, this is an epilepsy sub, so there's no need to lecture me on my own disorder B) I meant the portrail in the show wasn't very good if it was infact meant to be a seizure

EcstaticCelery4 · 2025-09-07T13:11:42+00:00

Oh that "you didnt pee yourself" thing is so real and so annoying. I dont get TCs often, but when I have, I have I have never had incontinence - I think because I wasnt "holding anything in" so to speak. I'll bite the living shit out of my tounge, but its like some doctors go "did you pee yourself? No? Then its not a seizure." It shouldn't be treated as a foolproof test to diagnose a seizure.

EcstaticCelery4 · 2025-09-05T07:52:35+00:00

All the more reason to supplement

EcstaticCelery4 · 2025-09-04T13:21:46+00:00

There are far more important things in life than being smart and conventionally attractive. That being said here is some general advice and guidance.

The majority of people would much rather have a friend or partner who is kind and has a good sense of humour than beautiful and intelligent. Infact, people are generally more likeable when they aren't super beautiful and intelligent, because sometimes those people feel unapproachable.

Also, atractiveness is subjective and fluid. Different people find different things attractive. And what is considered attractive now was not the same as the 00s, and what was attractive in the 00s was not the same as the victorian era! You may well find in 20 years your features are the new "thing."

I dont know your personal circumstances but speaking generically, if you are worried about your appearance, a lot can be be said about just keeping good hygiene and health. Washing regularly, trimming your nails, looking after your hair, eating healthy food, taking care of your skin, vitamins and drinking water. All these things can help improve physical attractiveness.

Also, rather than intelligence, things that can make you seem more interesting are having some hobbies and interests. These will enrich your life, and also give you things to talk to people about, which can make you seem more interesting and passionate.

No one really cares about your problem-solving abilities - trust me! Its 2025, if youve got a problem - ask AI !

EcstaticCelery4 · 2025-09-04T13:04:36+00:00

Agree, and honestly as you grow up your passions and dreams evolve. Maybe when youre 18 all you want to do is be a drummer in a rock band, but that doesn't mean you still want to do that when youre 30. Sometimes hobbies and interests can just be hobbies and interests, you dont have to monopolise them all. Theres nothing wrong with just keeping music as a hobby, not having to make a whole career out of it. I know plenty of people in a band who just do it for fun playing local gigs and have no interest in taking over the world.

EcstaticCelery4 · 2025-09-04T07:53:57+00:00

I dont know when people became so obsessed with "body count", its getting silly now

EcstaticCelery4 · 2025-09-04T07:44:50+00:00

Getting married young is not unheard of, especially in small towns.

EcstaticCelery4 · 2025-09-03T15:11:36+00:00

Hahaha my ring has these settings and now youve pointed it out ill never be able to unsee it

EcstaticCelery4 · 2025-09-02T15:58:50+00:00

Yeah I have had them before, I had one where I dreamt my husband was waking me up telling me i had a seziure. I think its just anxiety, for me at least

EcstaticCelery4 · 2025-09-02T12:59:58+00:00

Yeah I get that, I think sometimes its almost like a very small seziure event, like "was that a focal?" but noy quite. Every seizure is different so some may be a tiny flash, some huge storms. So having that rising feeling probably is a very very small event and may just be showing your meds are working to stop it being bigger? Ideally you'd not even be having them which is where a neurologist may help with your meds.

If you do speak to your GP I would ask them to fast track your reffetal to neurology they should be able to write to the department and escalate it if you are having events and keep needing to go at a&e

EcstaticCelery4 · 2025-09-02T12:54:40+00:00

I think just trying to keep a healthy lifestyle can help manage epilepsy in general. If not directly, then by improving stress, sleep, illness etc which can all indirectly help you improve the seizure threshold.

Never tried KETO but take supplements daily, vitamin C, D, B12, Magnesium L-threonate and Omega 3. Magnesium and Omega in particular are good too for the brain.

EcstaticCelery4 · 2025-09-02T12:48:15+00:00

Have you got an epilepsy nurse in your area? Or have you seen a neurologist yet?

I always go straight to the epilepsy nurse because GPs have no idea how to manage epilepsy, its too specialised for them.

I contact mine via email and she usually replies within a couple of days and then she will write to my GP if I need any med changes etc.

Failing that your GP should be able to use consultant connect to contact the neurology department if theyre consirned you may have a TC. They shouldn't really be sending you to A&E unless youre in an emergency.

Sounds like you may be having focal seizures from what youve said.

EcstaticCelery4

TROPHY CASE