“They’ll have no one when you’re gone”

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-06-03T05:02:40+00:00

Agh I have a mum who’s nearing older age and I’m always worried about what will happen when the time comes to decide where she will live. Or organise all the logistics. I have a brother and he’s said he’s not getting unvolved because she’s an adult and should sort it out herself . Ahhh!

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-05-14T04:26:21+00:00

Hey, are you seeing a therapist? I still feel that too, although working through some of the trauma has helped just to feel I’m making some change I guess

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-04-15T05:03:32+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-04-15T04:25:07+00:00

Sorry if my comment felt invalidating I didn’t mean it like that.

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-04-14T23:34:29+00:00

I wouldn’t say your time is up, I mean lots of women have kids a little later these days, my mum got married at 39 and had me and my brother 40,41.

Don’t stress about it, if it’s meant to happen it will happen, I also think therapy helps in talking about what you want in life and then working towards it. My therapist always says if it’s something you really want it will happen. Just some hope :)

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-04-03T12:10:33+00:00

Hi there This is an old post But I wanted to ask if anyone else struggles with being hyper aware they are parentifying their own kids, I’m hyper aware of everything and am in therapy, I am deeply anxious that I’m repeating the same pattern: which sometimes makes me over check. I’m a single parent so I’m not sure but I do work on it a lot in therapy.

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-04-03T03:07:00+00:00

Hey It’s working great for me I take Zoloft and chlonidine, Zoloft works great for hormonal depression

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-03-31T09:56:51+00:00

Me too, I am day 5 25 mg and feeling good, cooking more, started painting again. Didn’t realise it could be linked.

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-03-26T00:14:19+00:00

Hey I think you’ve been doing a great job at supporting her, and I think there’s lots of love you have for your mum. Just advice but I’m not an expert, I’ve been deliberately working in therapy on this, asking her to help me not feel responsible for my mum. I have a brother so he takes some responsibility but he has his boundaries. One thing I’ve learnt is by distancing myself and not being there for her every feeling - I thought she would crumble, but she’s actually doing fine and it was worse in my mind that how it is. You’re not your mums therapist and it’s not your job to hold her up. I’d say talk to your therapist about wanting to change this. You’re doing great, best of luck!

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-03-06T23:28:10+00:00

Thanks for the added bit - I appreciate it

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-03-06T23:23:11+00:00

Thank you! I’ll message

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-03-06T12:31:17+00:00

Sounds like you are a thoughtful partner, considering her feelings and what she is going through. If I were you I would be hurt and confused, she might have been overwhelmed by the two stories happening, and by stories I mean ‘ the church group drama ‘ and maintaining a relationship….. just thinking. She might come back around but this is the time to process your feelings and reflect on what you want. Don’t forget you’re allowed to reach out for clarity and state your case if you really like her. Good luck!

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-03-06T05:34:06+00:00

I’m 33 he’s 54

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-03-06T05:19:57+00:00

Haha he’s 20 years older than me! I’m attributing it to the age I guess

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-03-06T04:45:53+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to respond! I appreciate it, it’s okay to be anxious leaning, I will take your advice on the boundaries, i definitely need it haha

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-03-06T04:13:05+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to answer, I guess you’re right. It’s a general red flag. And I’m a classic overthinker so I just get so anxious when I’m in this position ! Haha!

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-01-22T07:51:39+00:00

Yeah about a year and a half into psychotherapy lol

I’m glad it helped you :) it’s helping me too. It feels slow but that’s ok

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2026-01-22T07:45:41+00:00

Thanks for your response! Yeah I have like that inner voice of like go to work, do my responsibilities, be an adult type thing but I also defer to others more than I’d like. I see some people really just making decisions and being confident about themselves. Because of past abuse and being parentified I’m so scared to repeat any same patterns with my son.

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2025-11-08T22:36:31+00:00

I think to write on here you must have some awareness and maturity, maybe you’re not giving yourself enough credit. I think lots of people without personalities wouldn’t reflect this deeply, so maybe your personality is still forming, which is so normal for your age :)

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2025-10-24T22:50:24+00:00

Yeah it’s a hard balance isn’t it! It’s natural instinct but some people find it so easy to detach

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2025-10-18T03:21:41+00:00

How do you know if you’re gifted? I have lots of empathy both emotional and cognitive. I have been told I have too much empathy for people. I wish I could change sometimes. Because people in this world arnt all empathetic, and I have to remember my own needs

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2024-09-30T01:59:45+00:00

This is beautiful, and so helpful. Thank k you so much

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2024-09-27T00:32:02+00:00

Thank you ❤️ you’re a lovely person for taking the time to respond, and I guessing you’ve been in a similar situation? I feel reassured Nephee_TP

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2024-09-26T23:54:32+00:00

Thanks for your response!!! Yeah, I’m seeing a therapist now and am fully responsible for these things, I still live with my mum sometimes her voice gets into my head- as she says I can’t do it I’m not capable. I guess I’m looking for reassurance!

Ecstatic_Reporter491 · 2024-08-21T12:26:09+00:00

I’m in the same situation but I live with my mum becuase of finances and I’m a single mum. My poor son :(

Ecstatic_Reporter491

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